Just in case you wanted more reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow, she now has a 33 room house. The Daily Mail reports:

Madonna has done it and Jamie Oliver too. Now Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin have become the latest celebrities to spread out into the house next door. After snapping up the property adjoining their London home, the couple are to create a £7million superhouse with 33 rooms.Pictures submitted with a planning application show the couple's garden with a slide for daughter Apple, five, and son Moses, three. Plans show they intend to knock through the connecting walls to create eight rooms on the lower ground floor, six on the upper ground, five on the first floor and eight on the second floor. A two-storey extension at the side of the existing house includes a gym, changing room, three bedrooms and a bathroom. The couple moved out of the house in May to spend time in America. They own several other homes, including one in the Hamptons, near New York, but see the London property as their base because they want the children to have a British education. A neighbour said: 'It will be a massive house. What they have already is a substantial family home, but to double and add a bit on will make it a real mansion."

I'm not gonna lie, spelling and grammar are my white whale, but I'm not really sure that a British education would have helped that. Mostly because I'm a dumbass, but mainly because spelling shit with a "u" is retarded and based on movies I've seen, British kids have buckles on their shoes and tie their books together with belts. They also walk with canes and will die unless The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Scrooge how sick they are. What the hell is going on over there?!

And again, I have no idea what these pictures of Jenna Jameson have to do with Gwyneth Paltrow other than the fact that they aren't of Gwyneth Paltrow. BTW, I don't know if "Jenna Jamseon" gave it away, but these are NSFW:

You might want to sit down for this, but America's beloved actress Gwyneth Paltrow is acting like a raging bitch on the set of Iron Man 2. I know, I know. Breathe. C'mon, breathe. Fox News reports:

A source says some of the "Iron Man" team had secret hopes of her character being recast, or even killed in the movie, but are resigned to the likelihood that she is locked in as the character Pepper Potts. Gwyneth did nothing to make friends with fellow superhero Scarlett Johansson, playing the Black Widow, says the insider, and crew actually preferred to be around her husband, Coldplay frontman, Chris Martin. "Gwyneth is extremely cool at work. She's just a step above professional, too snobby," the on-set source tells FOX411. "Gwyneth is not friendly to anyone, and tends to make people feel awkward and uncomfortable. She wasn't outright rude to Scarlett, she just didn't ever speak to her. Gwyneth went out of her way to avoid Scarlett, and they had zero contact, at Gwyneth's choosing." The source says that she also put undue pressure on the hair and makeup staff and other members of the crew. "Gwyneth would be very put out if hair and makeup were running behind or things were not on schedule. Usually, nothing was drastically late, but Gwyneth can instantly say something that lets everyone know she is put out," the source explains. "Much of the crew didn't mind hanging out with her husband, Chris, but if Gwyneth ever came around, they scattered! Chris is so chill and relaxed and she is just the opposite. Chris has been a crew favorite since the filming of the first movie." And while the insider says there are definitely people on the movie who would love to see her replaced, Pepper Potts is a very important character to Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark. "She is not going anywhere," sighs the source. "As long as Gwyneth wants to be in the movies, she will be, and the crew has to learn how to handle her."

Seriously, is there even any reason Gwyneth Paltrow is even in movies besides her famous parents using their Hollywood connections like high-speed internet? She can't act, she's ugly, freakishly pale, and I'd rather hear the a doctor tell me he's gonna have to amputate that hear this bitch's annoying ass voice. If her parents weren't Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner, she'd be asking me if she could box up my steak at Outback. Why, yes. Yes, you could.


Note: And don't please justify the reasons for why she can act because she won an Oscar. Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar too, so let's don't get carried away.

When you're born into fame and privilege, it's easy to become disillusioned with America and how you had to struggle to overcome obstacles such as daddy cutting off your credit card or having to wake up before noon. Gwyneth Paltrow has obviously suffered more than Harriet Tubman, because every time she opens her damn mouth, it's all about how much she hates America and how stupid Americans are. She just gave a recent interview. You'll never guess what she said! New York Daily News reports:

"Spain has become a second home," Paltrow said. "Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C. It's incredible. "Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. "They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their BlackBerries on." Paltrow lived in Spain briefly as a teen and is fluent in Spanish. The 36-year-old star, who is married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin, wants her two kids, Apple and Moses, to speak Spanish as well.

Man, it really must suck to live in a country where you're handed everything you've ever accomplished then be allowed to tell everyone who will listen how bad that country sucks. At this point, Paltrow should just drive through Manhattan in an M41 with Putin and Ahmadinejad while waving a North Korean flag. You know, just so people won't get the wrong idea.

My seething hatred for Gwyneth Paltrow is fully documented on this site, mostly because she's an America hating hippie who didn't deserve her Oscar because she's never worked a day in her life and was handed roles and fame by her famous actress mother and her connected producer/director father. So you'd think she'd be thankful to get paid to sit in a makeup chair all day to get ready to read words other people wrote for Iron Man 2. Of course not. The Sun reports:

“Gwyneth has become very frustrated with Scarlett. They come from different worlds and have completely different styles....Gwyneth has found Scarlett very demanding of the attention of the crew. It’s not a happy set.” Gwyneth has been left exhausted by the politics and a series of strenuous scenes and and is now taking a two-week break from filming. Hubby CHRIS MARTIN has lavished her with love and supported her at a dinner with friends in LA. “Gwyneth and Scarlett have never been particularly close. Gwyneth was looking forward to working with EMILY BLUNT, who was originally in line for the part, but it ended up being Scarlett. Gwyneth’s had to live with that and she has been very professional, but she and Scarlett haven’t developed a friendship on the shoot, which is almost at the half way point. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”

The blockqoute is really all you need to know about Gwyneth Paltrow. A wooden Indian in a tuxedo could play her part and this movie would still make $200 million, but since she couldn't get her way she pouted and stopped production so she could go on vacation. While you read that last sentence, please keep in mind that she's an actress. You could take a nap or be frozen in carbonite and you'd still work harder than this bitch.

Scarlett Johansson may be even more pretentious and self-important, but she has a huge rack and it turns out my penis is more forgiving than I am:

Iron Man II has begun filming. [BadAndUgly]

Eminem has a new video out that takes on Rock Of Love, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Palin, Jessica Simpson, Star Trek, ... you know what, you should probably just watch it. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

I don't care what no one says, Russell Brand is either a drug addict or a vampire. [LaineyGossip]

If you wear a thong bikini like Serena Williams, I'd like to know you. And have you pay for me to go to the beach. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Robert Pattinson might have suffered the most humiliating non-injury injury on the New Moon set. [SocialitesLife]

Drew Barrymore in Elle's May 2009 issue. [ICYDK]

Does "Baby Got Back" really need to sell burgers to kids? [BWE]

Gwyneth Paltrow is a pretentious America hater who was born rich and raised by hippie film industry parents who sent her to a hippie school where she played in drum circles and made friendship bracelets, so of course I hold her scientific theories in high regard. Like the one that shampoo gives babies cancer and autism. The Sun reports:

The Two Lovers star revealed she was "seized with fear" after reading up on the so-called dangers posed to children of environmental chemicals apparently used in such products as shampoo. She said: "A couple of years ago I was asked to give a quote for a book concerning environmental toxins and their effects on our children. While reading up on the subject, I was seized with fear about what the research said. Fetuses, infants and toddlers are basically unable to metabolize toxins the way that adults are, and we are constantly filling our environments with chemicals that may or may not be safe. The research is troubling; the incidence of diseases in children such as asthma, cancer and autism have shot up exponentially and many children we all know and love have been diagnosed with developmental issues like ADHD." However, Cancer Research UK insists there is absolutely no evidence to back up the Oscar winner’s findings. And medical chiefs have been quick to wade into the debate, with bacteriologist Professor Hugh Pennington calling her claims "rubbish" and "loopy". He added: "It's a load of nonsense. Shampoo is perfectly safe, unless you drink it in large quantities."

Man, did you hear that? Gwyneth Paltrow "read up on the subject"! She's amazing! Forget the last fifty years of documented scientific research and the fact that every baby in the civilized world uses shampoo, Gwyneth read something on the Internet one time and now she's able to make rash judgments on subjects where she is hilariously misinformed. Just like in the eHarmony forums where I talk about kissing girls.

Gwyneth and Willy Wonka(?):

For those of you guessing if I am secretly Thumbman, I wish. I am far less attractive and have much more hair. Maybe to a fault. Wait. Certainly to fault.

Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow is actually up for a Grammy. Like people care about the Grammys. [LaineyGossip]

For some reason, this video of three relatively hot chicks shotgunning a beer is really interesting to me. Maybe because I'm afraid this is some sort of stupid viral thing. Site NSFW [DrunkenStepfather]

During Chuck's pointless 3D episode, Yvonne Strahovski got down to her underwear. It looked like this in 2 dimensions. [Popoholic]

It took about a week of Demi Moore being on Twitter before it was recognized by the gossip rags. [Popwatch]

This Katie Price picture takes 2 seconds to look at, and it's worth exactly those 2 seconds. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

This outfit means Mickey Rourke is our busted-ass celeb of the day. [BWE]

And for the Thumbman approved downer of the day? Supreme Court Justice Ruth Ginsberg has cancer. [PerezHilton]

Eliza Dusku's Dollhouse premieres next Friday, so it's time to dump her sexy promo outtakes onto the internet! [BadandUgly]

Dan Ackroyd's daughter has a tramp stamp. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

A guy named Joe Satriani is going to "ambush" Coldplay in New York. They always needed a good ambushing. [LaineyGossip]

Kristen Stewart has pot-leafs for nipples. [Egotastic]

Charlize Theron's nipples could probably do the job of laser-etchings. [CityRag]

Like everything else in Toys "R" Us, Jordan's boobs are cheap and plastic. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]