Not so fast update: Yeah, so apparently this is Marisa Miller. I say this is Marisa Miller because other sites pointed this out almost a year ago. I hope this is enough to fully convince you that I should at no time be considered an investigative journalist, because I barely even know what..hey look, a squirrel!

Photographer Deborah Anderson released her second book of photography, Room 23, in February 2009. The book, according to Amazon, "depicts a year in the life of a private penthouse suite in a hotel in Beverly Hills, California. The year is 2008. The protagonists: Hollywood's characters and elite." and featured Sharon Stone, George Clooney, Sir Elton John, Minnie Driver, Dennis Hopper, Cindy Crawford and Larry King. It also included this picture of Hayden Panettiere. For some reason, the banner pic hit online today with this quote from the Anderson.

"This is actually an extremely well known actress." says Deborah coyly. "It was her idea to sit in the shower as long as she was anonymous. I removed a tattoo so as not to give the secret away but she does appear somewhere else in the book with clothes on"

Internet nerds on picture forums believe this to be Hayden Panettiere. I don't know. Nor do I really care. Just keep in mind that if this pose is a car in a garage on a hydraulic lift, my face would be the mechanic. Yeah, so there's that.

I thought only tweens, child molesters, and self-important shut ins still use MySpace, but apparently Hayden Panettiere posted this annoyingly blurry pic where she is on all fours on top of a table. Is there a line behind her or did she think this was a good place to pose? If she wasn't so freakishly small with a gigantic head, this might be kinda hot. I really wish I could get on board with this, but every time I look at this chick I feel I like I should give her some candy corn or listen to her tell me that the witch is not only merely dead, she's most sincerely dead.

Her boyfriend, Vladimir Klischo (this human growth hormone), apparently hasn't punctured her cervix and caused internal bleeding yet, so Hayden Panettiere was in Malibu this weekend prancing around in a bikini. Everytime I see this chick I want to give her a lollipop and Silly Bands, so these pics don't really turn me on as much as they should. Luckily for you, if you ever fantasized about banging a 10-year old, maybe Hayden can help. You can masturbate to these with the peace of mind that the police won't be outside your house with torches and pitchforks, and that the little girl in the baseball cap has a way more accommodating vagina. Man, look at you go!

Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko attended an event in Hamburg, Germany this weekend where whatever it is they're doing is considered legal. If it isn't obvious by now, Hayden Panettiere's daddy issues could be harnessed and used to power a giant robot who we can beam down when needed from the spacestation Skyvault. First she dated 32-year old Milo Ventiwhateverthefuck and now Klitschko. If you threw a guy under 30 at her there's a good chance she'd burst into flames.

Hayden Panettiere is apparently dating heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, and he's obviously punched her in the chest a few times, because where did those tits come from? And why is he dating her, it can't be for sex can it? He's 6'6" and she's not tall enough to ride the teacups at the fair. He might as well be fucking a koala.



My penis's reaction to these can only be fully recreated by this:

I don't think Hayden Panettiere is hot for the same reason I don't find child porn hot, so it's kinda weird seeing her carrying a case of beer. She should be at the store trying to find the last Golden Ticket not buying Coors Light. I can only assume it's for the afterparty when the Mayor announces the Wicked Witch of the East is not only merely dead, she's most sincerely dead.

The 4th season of Heroes starts tonight and you should really check it out, because NBC paid me a lot of money to convince you to it really is a kick ass show. It stars the always hot Ali Larter, Hayden Panettiere in a cheerleading uniform, an Asian guy, and that one guy from Near Dark. Oh, and it also stars that one dude from that one thing! He's awesome! So if you love me like you say in your letters you'll watch it tonight. If not, I'm not even really sure what you bring to this relationship anymore. God, why does everything have to be about you?!

Hollywood is a place where chicks go when they dream of stardom. Also, if you're a chick, it's a good place to get your ass kicked. What fun! TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned Hayden Christensen's brother, producer Tove Christensen, was arrested early this morning for felony assault with a deadly weapon -- when he allegedly dragged his girlfriend around 30 feet after she clung to the side of his car. LAPD responded to a 911 call in Hollywood around 2:30 AM after an argument broke out between the couple. Witnesses told law enforcement that Christensen pushed her to the ground and hopped in his car -- but when his GF reached inside to grab her purse, Tove hit the gas and dragged her down the street. When police arrived, the girlfriend had visible marks on her arm. They later tracked down Tove at his L.A. home and arrested him.

Man, Chris Brown and Joe Francis got nothing on this guy. I bet they're at home right now writing him thank you cards and wondering what kind of gift certificate to get him, because when you're a uncontrollable lunatic who can't handle his emotions, hearing about some dude dragging his girlfriend behind his car has to be pretty impressive.

I was gonna post pictures of Hayden Christensen, but when I typed in "Hayden Christensen", the pic forums pulled up these pics of Hayden Panettiere in these tight little shorts. Pic forums, what perverts those guys are!