Hilary Duff isn't on here a lot, because well, it's Hilary Duff and who really gives a shit? But I guess she should have thought of that before she went to Italy and put on a bikini around dude with a camera. Because I like bikinis. And I really like white girls in bikinis. I also like a nice smile. Ooh, that sounded pretty good. I should probably put that on my OK Cupid profile. I feel it shows women that I'm sensitive. And then they'll let me have sex with them.

Charlie Sheen's got an A-list project to launch his comeback since being fired from Two And A Half Men. Oh, wait. From Radar Online:

Charlie Sheen filmed a small cameo for the movie She Wants Me, starring Hilary Duff, and RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that he’s also taken on the role of executive producer!

According to a source, Sheen initially agreed to a part in the movie because he’s good friends with one of the producers, Mark Holder, and eventually he progressed into an executive producer title.

“Charlie is one of the executive producers on the film, which is a new addition to the small role he has,” director Rob Margolies’ rep told RadarOnline.com.

“They filmed last fall and are currently editing the movie which should be ready for a June release.”

In addition to Duff, the movie also features Love and Other Drugs star Josh Gad, who is a neurotic writer working on a screenplay who ends up in a sticky situation when an A-list actress shows interest in a role that he was hoping his girlfriend would get.

If you're looking for a comeback vehicle, you should probably look elsewhere than a project where Hilary Duff is the marquee name. Charlie Sheen has a better shot at resurrecting his career doing dinner theater in North Dakota. Or, you know, by drinking chocolate milk and not doing drugs.

Hilary Duff at some event a month ago:



All images via WENN.

PEOPLE reports:

The actress, 22, and Canadian hockey player [Mike Comrie], 29, were married Saturday during an intimate ceremony in Santa Barbara, Calif. The couple exchanged vows at the Mediterranean Villa La Quinta around 8 p.m under an arch of flowers and in front of about 100 guests.

What is wrong with Hilary Duff? She’s rarely in the tabloids, all her accidental upskirt photos include underwear, and she has a seemingly healthy relationship with her now husband. She hasn’t even been to rehab! Doesn’t she know she’s a 22 year old celebrity? Lindsay would have already hocked the wedding ring for blow and a carton of Marlboros. Oh how I miss our freckled friend! That hot mess was good for business.

The wedding… as seen from space:

Hilary Duff is in Manhattan filming something I'll never see called, The Business of Falling in Love, and um, where did this rack come from? Did I miss something? Either she got implants or the secret experiment the government did on me to make me faster, better, stronger is working. Not that they can take all the credit. The whole three-pound penis thing was God's idea.

Since I refuse to write about that self-aggrandizing. bitter queen or the chick with the Nazi hair and her ping-pong playing kids anymore, here's Hilary Duff in Hawaii prancing around in a bikini. I had basically forgotten what Hilary Duff looked like until I saw these pictures today, and um, has she always looked like this? Did I miss something? Because I'm pretty sure I'd fuck her now. Yep, I'm pretty sure. I'm also pretty sure that I'm going to try that new Italian place for lunch today. Ah, Wednesday! What a day of exciting new possibilities!

Since Hollywood has no original ideas and have apparently run out of Japanese horror movies to remake, they have now turned their attention to the 60's classic, Bonnie and Clyde. Starring Hilary Duff. Yeah, I know. Faye Dunaway said the same thing. US Magazine reports:

"Couldn't they have at least cast a real actress?" Dunaway said last week.

Not liking the question posed by the original star of the movie, Hilary Duff responded:

"I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know....I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too."

Wow, okay. I'm not sure what this remake is going to involve, but unless Bonnie and Clyde are going to be troublemaker street dancers from the wrong side of the tracks with only one shot at their dream, then maybe somebody should listen to Faye Dunaway. Because, to reiterate, it's Hilary Duff. Hiring Hilary Duff to play a bank robber is like hiring the Secretary of the Treasury to do your taxes. Sure, I guess they could both technically do the job, but something tells me that it might not be the best choice.

Her music sucks and she sucks in an overall sort of way, but Hilary Duff was hot as hell in War, Inc, so my penis and I both agreed that we were expecting a little more from pictures with "bikini" in their title. Yeah, not so much. Nice hat. Is she a 1950's detective all of a sudden? If she is, is the shooting at the diner just the beginning of an intricate tale of police corruption and Hollywood sleaze? Is she ready to break the rules to seek justice? Will Ed Exley avenge his father's death? Tune in next week to find out!

Here's Hilary Duff on the set of some movie that I won't see called Greta. From these pictures, I assume this movie is about a sassy yet tender teenage prostitute who's trying to earn money for ballet school and throws it all away for a hip, smooth talking agent who promises her fame, but only gives her heartache. Then she finds two guys in wet suits who teach her that when life falls apart, love can fall into place.