Las Vegas has a long history of celebrating cheesy celebrities, so Holly Madison was at the Hand Print Ceremony at Planet Hollywood Restaurant at The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace Resort and Casino. I guess to immortalize her handprints. I only bring this up, because I think a bunch of people sat in a room and thought, "How can we get Holly Madison on all fours with her rack hanging out and her hands in concrete so she can't move?". And think is what they came up with. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think $500 might have worked, too.

Holly Madison was in Las Vegas yesterday to set a Guinness world record for longest bikini parade. A Guinness World record. For a bikini parade. I only thought they did boring shit like the longest fingernails or the shortest game of Connect Four. Of course this is a completely asinine record, but hey, whatever it takes to get a bunch of chicks in bikinis. And for Holly Madison, she might as well be discovering a new element or unveiling her design for a new time machine, because after five years of being known for sucking the dust out of a reanimated Civil War soldier's penis, anything would probably feel like an accomplishment.

Caroline D'Amore cameltoe and cuntiness (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Miley Cyrus is a slob [Dlisted]
Kim Kardashian airport booty call (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Bar Refaeli's art chest [Just Jared]
Britney Spears' mom is a cash whore [Hollywood Rag]
Danielle Lloyd gets topless again [Hollywood Tuna]
Justin Timberlake swings for the kids [Popsugar]
Kate Moss naked or nuts [City Rag]
Miranda Kerr looks cold, needs pants [Popoholic]
Janet Jackson has vertigo [Socialite Life]
Charlize Theron bikini pictures [Egotastic]
Ashton and Demi took out Tellulah [Lainey Gossip]

Banner pic: Holly Madison "Bowling for Boobies" on Oct. 13th.

There have been a bunch of rumors lately that Holly Madison and Hugh Hefner's relationship was basically over, so good news if you were hoping that was true. Holly Madison confirmed it last night to a TMZ camera man. Everyone get prepared, because this 'reality television' breakup is gonna turn the celebrity gossip world upside down. In this job you read and see a lot of things, but a relationship between a 28 year old gold digger and a 82 year old millionaire close to death not working out? No way, man. Just no way.

Us Magazine reports that Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison are still together despite the fact that she has been seen everywhere with illusionist Criss Angel (the last time being four days ago). Some people are upset that people may question the love a vapid gold digger has for a rich man close to death. Hugh Hefner is not one of those people.

She is still my girlfriend," he tells Usmagazine.com in a new interview. "Now will that last? I don't think anything lasts forever. "I love her very much, but you know, she wants very much to get married and have children. That isn't very much in the cards for me," he adds. "So there has to be a certain reality there. And I'm sure the time will come when she'll be dating others. That's part of the transition."

Hugh Hefner then pointed to the line of blondes with fake tits and suitcases standing outside his house in front of a sign that says, "Please wait here to be transitioned."

I'm not even sure why I'm posting these pictures of Holly Madison not wearing a bra. She's naked all the time. If you've never seen her tits before, I hope you're enjoying your vacation in the magical land of the Internet. Come back to see us!

Click the lips for NSFW pics:

I rather watch zombies serve my torso at a picnic than see House Bunny, but a lot of hot ass showed up at the premiere last night, and in case you missed it, scouring the Internet for pictures of "hot ass" is kinda my job description. That is, of course, until I can find a way to start getting paid to just think about hot ass. Toddco* has a solid business plan, but apparently potential investors fail to see how masturbating constitutes a core competency. Insolent fools!

* A division of Handsome Industries, Inc.

Los Angeles police are currently investigating an alleged sexual assault that took place inside the Playboy Mansion over the weekend. NY Daily News reports:

The investigation was launched Monday, according to a Los Angeles Police Department statement. "For reasons of law and confidentiality that are critical in such investigations, no additional information will be released," LAPD spokesman Jason Lee said. A message left with a Playboy spokesman was not immediately returned, and no details were immediately available."

Man, that sucks. I guess topping E!'s list of "Most Desirable Places to Commit Sexual Assaults" didn't help. I just don't know what E! is thinking sometimes.