Jennifer Love Hewitt's last boyfriend dumped her over text last month, and ever since then she's been showing up to every event she can find with her rack hanging out. Because men like that. And because those rings aren't gonna buy themselves. Her writing a book on dating is like Casey Anthony writing a book on parenting. Something tells me the bookstore might have better options to fit your needs.

Because there were cameras around, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Kim Kardashian volunteered at the LA Mission last week to serve Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless. I understand they got to be in close proximity of food, but I really don't understand why they were there. I mean, I checked a bunch of websites and "homeless mission" didn't even make then top 10 of places to go when you're desperately looking for a husband. Number 1? The Borders in Pakistan. They should look into that.

Speaking of pedophiles, 30-something women go apeshit over Twilight, because if anything in this world is romantic and speaks to women, it's a high school girl's struggle of choosing between necrophilia and bestiality. So, of course, Jennifer Love Hewitt attended The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Because We're Splitting It Up Into Two Parts Because We Have To Ride This Thing Out And Squeeze Every Dollar We Can From Tween Cutters And Bored Housewives Duh premiere last night. I only post these, because I'm about to say something I haven't said since 2002. She looked fantastic. So I guess that means I would totally have sex with her now. Although it may get a little weird when she's bent over and I ask who her vagina belongs to. She has a brother named Todd, so that could be awkward. But I always make cupcakes afterward, so we should be fine.

It's easier to see a recent picture of Bigfoot than it is to see a paparazzi pic of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass from behind, but here she is in Studio City in a dress she stole from a kid on Toddlers & Tiaras. Man, how did we get these? Just lucky I guess!

Jennifer Love Hewitt was in West Hollywood last night where she was spotted arm in arm with her new love. Awww, I'm so happy for her. Because, I mean, this thing technically has a penis.

I assume you've all been reading this site for a while, so there's really no need to get into how Jennifer Love Hewitt makes even Jennifer Aniston uncomfortable with her desperation and never ending pasta bowl of need and insecurity with men. So when rumors starting floating around that she was dating the guy who didn't win The Bachelorette, Ben Flajnik, people believed it. But Hewitt went on Ryan Seacrest's morning show yesterday to emphatically say she's still single. And that she's in no way dating Ben Flajnik. She's not. Seriously. She just flew to Sonoma where he lives and works and ran into him totally by chance the day she landed. That's completely normal. Us Magazine reports:

Is Ashley Hebert's second-best good enough for a Hollywood star? Maybe! Ben Flajnik didn't get the final rose on The Bachelorette, but he did score a date with Jennifer Love Hewitt! Wednesday on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, the actress opened up about her "chance encounter" with the 28-year-old winemaker. During the show's August 1 finale, Hewitt, 32, tweeted that she needed to "book a flight to Sonoma," which is where Flajnik lives and works. The actress explained her cyber-flirting to Seacrest, saying: "I was looking for something pop culture to tweet about... Things got blown out of proportion... I have nothing to say except I'm totally single!" Seacrest's cohost, Ellen K., asked the Can't Hardly Wait Star: "Did you make out with [Ben]?" Hewitt laughingly answered that "Rumors are rumors... We did meet, but totally by coincidence."

I'm just gonna rip the bandaid off here, and say Jennifer Love Hewitt is stalking Ben Flajnik. She probably wasn't even off the plane before she had decided on the reception dinner menu. Because she enjoys food at great deal, you see.

Jennifer Love Hewitt tweeted this picture yesterday where I assume she wants you to believe that she drinks water.

As you look at these pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt in Studio City yesterday where she's apparently fighting a zombie bite infection, please keep in mind that she has written a self-help book to offer women practical dating advice and she has three engagement rings that her imaginary fiance can choose from if he ever asks her to marry him. Oh, and she's currently single. Pretty hard to believe, huh? You wouldn't expect that.