Speaking of pedophiles, 30-something women go apeshit over Twilight, because if anything in this world is romantic and speaks to women, it's a high school girl's struggle of choosing between necrophilia and bestiality. So, of course, Jennifer Love Hewitt attended The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Because We're Splitting It Up Into Two Parts Because We Have To Ride This Thing Out And Squeeze Every Dollar We Can From Tween Cutters And Bored Housewives Duh premiere last night. I only post these, because I'm about to say something I haven't said since 2002. She looked fantastic. So I guess that means I would totally have sex with her now. Although it may get a little weird when she's bent over and I ask who her vagina belongs to. She has a brother named Todd, so that could be awkward. But I always make cupcakes afterward, so we should be fine.

It's easier to see a recent picture of Bigfoot than it is to see a paparazzi pic of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass from behind, but here she is in Studio City in a dress she stole from a kid on Toddlers & Tiaras. Man, how did we get these? Just lucky I guess!

Jennifer Love Hewitt was in West Hollywood last night where she was spotted arm in arm with her new love. Awww, I'm so happy for her. Because, I mean, this thing technically has a penis.

I assume you've all been reading this site for a while, so there's really no need to get into how Jennifer Love Hewitt makes even Jennifer Aniston uncomfortable with her desperation and never ending pasta bowl of need and insecurity with men. So when rumors starting floating around that she was dating the guy who didn't win The Bachelorette, Ben Flajnik, people believed it. But Hewitt went on Ryan Seacrest's morning show yesterday to emphatically say she's still single. And that she's in no way dating Ben Flajnik. She's not. Seriously. She just flew to Sonoma where he lives and works and ran into him totally by chance the day she landed. That's completely normal. Us Magazine reports:

Is Ashley Hebert's second-best good enough for a Hollywood star? Maybe! Ben Flajnik didn't get the final rose on The Bachelorette, but he did score a date with Jennifer Love Hewitt! Wednesday on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, the actress opened up about her "chance encounter" with the 28-year-old winemaker. During the show's August 1 finale, Hewitt, 32, tweeted that she needed to "book a flight to Sonoma," which is where Flajnik lives and works. The actress explained her cyber-flirting to Seacrest, saying: "I was looking for something pop culture to tweet about... Things got blown out of proportion... I have nothing to say except I'm totally single!" Seacrest's cohost, Ellen K., asked the Can't Hardly Wait Star: "Did you make out with [Ben]?" Hewitt laughingly answered that "Rumors are rumors... We did meet, but totally by coincidence."

I'm just gonna rip the bandaid off here, and say Jennifer Love Hewitt is stalking Ben Flajnik. She probably wasn't even off the plane before she had decided on the reception dinner menu. Because she enjoys food at great deal, you see.

Jennifer Love Hewitt tweeted this picture yesterday where I assume she wants you to believe that she drinks water.

As you look at these pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt in Studio City yesterday where she's apparently fighting a zombie bite infection, please keep in mind that she has written a self-help book to offer women practical dating advice and she has three engagement rings that her imaginary fiance can choose from if he ever asks her to marry him. Oh, and she's currently single. Pretty hard to believe, huh? You wouldn't expect that.

The law of averages suggest that any paparazzi photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt would show her either entering a restaurant, leaving a restaurant, or dragging her fresh kill into a tree, so here she is leaving El Torito. A Mexican restaurant in LA. I bet she got a lot of numbers inside, because every guy wants to get up in a clingy, overweight 32-year old who dresses like an extra on iCarly. Also, there might be burritos in her purse.

When you're a bottomless pit of need, insecurity, and Hostess cupcakes, these things happen. Us Weekly reports:

Jennifer Love has lost in love again. After nearly a year together, Jennifer Love Hewitt has parted ways with beau Alex Beh, her rep confirms to Us Weekly. "They haven't been dating for a little while," the rep adds. Us first reported that Hewitt was dating actor-director Beh in late July 2010 following her March split from Ghost Whisperer costar Jamie Kennedy. In the wake of her Beh breakup, "She's doing well," a pal tells Us. Back in February, all was well with Hewitt, 31 and her man. "He buys me flowers every day," she told Us in an NYC fashion week event. "Ever since we met. Every single day -- I'm serious! He'll either give me a bouquet, or handpick one. So sweet!"

Jennifer Love Hewitt wrote a self-help book to give women practical dating advice, so if you're a woman and you bought this book, burn it then bury the ashes. Then change your name and move because your bookcase is now cursed. You'd be better off buying a book on dating with the words "Sharia law" in the title.