Snooki and J-Woww are under strict rules from Jersey City officials for their spin off. TMZ reports:
Snooki and Jwoww will be on some seriously thin ice when they begin shooting their new reality show in Jersey City ... because the cops will be assigned to watch their asses AT ALL TIMES. TMZ has learned ... officials in Jersey City refused to a grant a permit to shoot the show UNLESS they agreed to some seriously strict rules. 1) The show must allow at least four Jersey City PD officers to be stationed at Jwoww and Snooki's home at all times. 2) The cops will stay with the cast and crew when they leave the home. Cops have agreed to keep an appropriate distance from the operation, so they don't get in the way of production. 3) If MORE cops are called in to handle an incident due to events related to the show, producers MUST reimburse Jersey City for all related costs. Officials have also made it clear ... cops are taking the situation very seriously and will take action ... even on the cast ... if any state or city laws are broken. Ultimately, producers agreed ... and got the permit. Production is scheduled to begin later this month.
The only protection appropriate for any castmember of this show should involve a Flux Capacitor, prophylactics, and their parents. I don't understand why they're doing another show in the first place. The only way a Jersey Shore spinoff would be worth watching is if it were filmed in Camden.
She doesn't think she got enough money for putting her name on things. Like lingerie. No, really. The New York Post reports:
A High-profile licensing deal inked by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to put the guidette’s name on everything from denim and lingerie to home goods has wound up in court. Polizzi filed a complaint last month in Ulster County, NY — the “Jersey Shore” star’s legal residence — to end her partnership with SRG Ventures after the deal grabbed headlines earlier this year. SRG has worked with brands including the US Olympic Committee’s Team USA, Hohm and the Marilyn Monroe brand. But now Snooki is looking to get out of the pact, Page Six has learned, claiming it wasn’t as lucrative as agreed upon. Meanwhile, SRG filed a motion yesterday to move the case to New York City in preparation for a counter-suit. Snooki’s lawyers allege in court papers that SRG “failed to secure” royalty guarantees of at least $250,000 and a license from a major retailer for another $250,000, as the contract called for. It also says the SRG didn’t bring in “five licenses approved by [Polizzi].” But SRG says it has a “preponderance of evidence” that it did achieve those “performance benchmarks,” and says the gnomish reality star is herself in breach of contract.
On the bright side, if she loses the lawsuit and stops rotting brains from every imaginable medium, she can probably go back to her old position. I'm pretty sure the Chocolate Factory has union benefits.
There hasn't been a new episode of the original Tosh.0, The SoupBeavis & Butthead on MTV since 1997, but that all changed last night. And of course, they completed shredded Jersey Shore. Jesus should comeback like this.
Apparently what you see here is already an improvement. From The Huffington Post:
When the latest season of MTV's "Jersey Shore" premiered earlier this month, the Internet was buzzing about cast member Jenni "JWoWW" Farley's tight and slender new look. Show star Deena Nicole Cortese says she doesn't know whether or not her co-star has had any additional work done, and that she supports the decision to have plastic surgery. "If she did, more power to you," she told the New York Post. "I had actually had a nose job."
If she's all for it, she should go get a bit more work done. Preferably by Dr. Jan Adams.
Snooki's boyfriend wants to get married. And breed. The New York Post reports:
Snooki's equally pint-sized boyfriend, Jionni LaValle, told us he's looking forward to a marriage with the "Jersey Shore" star. "She's a good girl," he told us at the YRB magazine cover party for the "Jersey Shore" girls at District 36, where the two celebrated their 10-month anniversary of dating. When asked if marriage was in the future, he said, "Hopefully." If the two decide to have babies, LaValle said he wouldn't allow them on a reality TV show but added, "She probably would."
Man, fuck this. Aside from infecting the gene pool and basic cable, do you have any idea how much an advantage their kids are going to have in the zombie apocalypse? They're going to be too small to catch and so braindead that no one's gonna chase them anyway. I guess Special Olympians have an edge too.
Because the water in New Jersey needs more contamination, Jersey Shore's Deena Cortese got in a bikini and went swimming this weekend. Look, I'm not going to tell you how long it took for me to edit these pics between rocking back and forth in the corner and pouring hydrogen peroxide in my eyes, but I would rather cut my own dick off and feed give it to a dog than get my dick anywhere near whatever the hell this is. And if the dog picked up my dick and looked like he might walk in her direction, I'd shoot the dog in the head and kick it then run away really fast.
Are you turned on yet? It's okay, we'll wait. From Us Weekly:
After nearly eight months together, Jersey Shore's Snooki and beau Jionni LaValle have parted ways, a source confirms to Us Weekly.
"They broke up," the insider says. LaValle, 23, recently visited Snooki, 22 (real name: Nicole Polizzi) in Italy, where she and her Jersey Shore cast are currently shooting season 4 of their MTV smash. But the dolce vita holiday didn't work out. "[He] came home early," the insider says.
The duo first stepped out together at NYC's Butter in September of last year-- and got serious in October, with LaValle "bonding" 'with the reality star's dad. "She wasn't sure about him at first and kept asking her friends what they thought of him," another pal told Us at the time. "She was hesitant because he isn't the typical gorilla."
Adds the first source: "She was planning on buying a house ... down the street from his parents."
Someone should let Snooki know that her next boyfriend probably isn't at the bottom of that sundae. If this bitch wants a gorilla so badly, can't she just use that money from my alma mater to buy a condo in the Congo? If I didn't think the universe would implode from all that fug I'd just suggest a cameo on Khloe and Lamar.
