There have been rampant rumors that Sandra Bullock and Jesse James made a sex tape, but Bullock has vehemently denied these claims. No Jesse James is denying it as well. Man, I just don't know what to believe.

While Bullock denied an Internet report of such a sex tape, James has broadened the denial to also include an online story claiming he's in at least a dozen sex tapes with other women featuring Nazi-themed paraphernalia. "The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated," says a rep for James in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE.

Sandra Bullock has always carried herself with class and elegance, so it's hard to believe that she would make a sex tape with The Cable Guy if he worked on motorcycles and worshiped Hitler. The only way Sandra Bullock would be in a sex tape with this guy is if she walked in on him filming himself jacking off to Schindler's List.

It's a good thing Jesse James left sex rehab early. His 12 homemade sex tapes aren't gonna sell themselves, you know.

The tapes Jesse made with other women are shocking. “Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com. “It’s all really quite disturbing.” A source who saw one of the tapes spoke to RadarOnline.com on the condition of anonymity and gave a partial description. “What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute,” the insider said. “It looked like the woman’s hands were bound. “He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then.” Jesse has been linked to four mistresses so far, but as RadarOnline.com was the first to report, he admitted to Sandra that there were seven women total during the course of their marriage. Jesse is desperate to save his marriage, but Sandra is adamant on saving her career and divorcing the serial cheater. RadarOnlne.com has learned that none of the sex tapes are up for sale but that they are also not in a completely secure location. “They could end up being made public just like the photo of Jesse giving the Nazi salute,” the insider said. “There’s no doubt some of these tapes could leak and end up on the Internet.”

Christ. Jesse James could car bomb a daycare or turn into a werewolf in the middle of a mall and it would be the best publicity he's had all month.

Note: Since IDLYITW is under a strict "No Jesse James Pic" policy, the banner pic is of the good enough to eat, Rosie Jones. And my "good enough to eat", I mean I would very much like to lick her vagina. Just thought I would clarify.

Since he is so committed to saving his marriage, Jesse James checked into sex rehab last week. But what they don't tell you in sex rehab is that you can't post ads on Craigslist for tatted up Nazi whores. Star Magazine reports:

The source claims Jesse quietly checked out of Arizona's Sierra Tucson Treatment Center within the last couple of days. His exit coincides with a moving van being spotted outside the Seal Beach, Calif., home he has shared with Sandra on April 2. "All of Jesse's pals have been talking about it," says the source. Though a rep stated that James had "realized that this time was crucial to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage" when he entered the facility on March 26, the source adds: "It seems Jesse just isn't that serious about rehab after all."

Man, this treatment center must use magic and sorcery, because Jesse James was only there a week and now he's cured. I bet he's at his friends house making a scrapbook for Sandra Bullock and spraying cologne on homemade cards. Because he's so in love you see.

The banner pic and the pics below (taken in Miami this weekend) are of Swiss model and actress, Michelle Hunziker. They don't have anything to do with this post other than the fact that they don't have anything to do with this post:

Apparently the fact that Jesse James checked into rehab worked. Sandra Bullock might be considering taking him back. Popeater reports:

"Sandra and Jesse have been speaking a lot, and now that he is finally taking responsibility and taking positive action, Sandra is thinking about giving him a second chance," a friend of the actress tells me. "Jesse is in really bad shape and she's not the sort of girl to kick a dog when he's down. At the very least, you can expect Sandra to put the divorce on hold until after he gets treatment." And before you go judging Sandra's decision, remember no one really knows what goes on in another person's marriage -- and the same goes for Elin Nordegren, the wife of Tiger Woods. As Sandra's friend tells me, "a marriage is sacred and something worth trying to save."

I'm all for marriage being sacred, but if one of the people don't give a shit about it, then why should the other. At this point, Sandra Bullock is just prolonging the inevitable. Does she really think two weeks of friendship circles and trust falls are gonna make Jesse James stop posting Craiglist ads for tatted up, Nazi chicks? If my wife ever cheated on me, I'd fuck her mom. Then her sister. And all of her friends. Then maybe her dog. Then I'll burn my damn house down. And you better bury Ned right!...Better not cut up, nor otherwise harm no whores...or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons of bitches!...Wait, what was I talking about?

Because skanks are coming forward like a Spartan army to say he's a douchebag and had sex with them, Jesse James finally realizes that he's married to Sandra Bullock and has decided to do what his PR people tell him to do because wtf man? Your wife is a millionaire Oscar-winner and you're banging these truck stop hookers? What the hell is wrong with you? seek professional help with his addiction.

The facility -- Sierra Tucson -- specializes in drug, alcohol and sex addiction, as well as other disorders. TMZ broke the story last night. Multiple law enforcement sources have told TMZ when a CHP officer stopped Jesse last Friday on the 10 Freeway near Blythe, CA. -- for driving without a front license plate and driving with tinted windows -- James told the officer he was going to Arizona to try to save his marriage to Sandra Bullock. We have now learned from our law enforcement sources that James was specific -- that he was going to a rehab facility in Tucson. A TMZ producer called Sierra Tucson and spoke with a therapist, who told us Jesse was at the facility and in fact had a 6 PM treatment Tuesday night.

Please keep in mind that this treatment facility was his second choice. Why? Because Sandra Bullock is awesome.

"He offered to go to the same rehab center that Tiger Woods went to if Sandra would support him and stick with him. She said 'no,' and that basically he's the scum of the earth." Bullock continues to live outside the family home. The source added, "[Jesse] is trying to show her he wants to recover. Sandra is tough and does not take humiliation well. It will take a lot more than Jesse going for a week to some clinic for her to even take him seriously."

There's no real rehab for Jesse James' actual disease of being a piece of shit, so I'm not really sure what the point of this whole thing besides to garner sympathy where there is none. You fucked some skanks, you got caught, deal with it. Every woman in the world hates you and every man in the world wants to punch you in the throat because now we have to get interrogated by our women to see if we would ever do this. Well, yes, but to be fair, you don't really have an Oscar now do you, sweetie?

It think it should be obvious at this point that Jesse James' would stick his penis in a beehive if it had tattoos and ridiculously oversized implants. TMZ reports:

Brigitte Daguerre -- a Los Angeles photographer -- claims Jesse hired her in 2008 to do styling work for a West Coast Choppers photo shoot. She says the two emailed and texted each other for a year, but claims they only had sex four times before she cut it off. Daguerre has 195 text messages between her and Jesse (the cell phone numbers sync up) ... many of them extremely graphic. Among the milder, Jesse says, "I'll be your monkey." Throughout the exchanges, Jesse repeatedly asks Daguerre to send pictures and set up rendezvous. In one exchange, Daguerre complained that Jesse wasn't letting loose. He explains, "I'm texting you in secret."

I'm sick right now, but there isn't enough NyQuil gelcaps in the world to make me text a girl "I'll be your monkey". What the hell does that even mean? Did he want to bite her then throw shit at her? Did he want her to become a quadriplegic so he could help her then develop feelings of rage against his new master? I find that "I want to stick it in your ass" is much more effective.

If you're struggling with yourself to find out on a scale of 1 to 10 how much of a piece of shit Jesse James is, I hope this helps.
Us Magazine reports:

"This is just the first person who has gone public," one source tells Us Weekly. Adds another, "This is not an isolated incident. When Sandra is away, he gets bored." In fact, James' infidelity has been an open secret among employees at his West Coast Choppers bike shop in Long Beach, Calif. "Everybody knew," one source tells Us Weekly. James, 40, would regularly post Internet ads looking for "hot, tattooed biker chicks with big boobs," says a source. Adds another, "He sees their photos, answers the ads and invites the girls to his office." How could Bullock, 45, be in the dark about her husband of nearly five years? "He is a whole other person when they're together," says a source. Adds an insider, "She was completely duped."

Oh, and corny douchebag, don't forget corny douchebag:

TMZ has learned ... a former high level, female executive with West Coast Choppers settled a sexual harassment lawsuit against Jesse James and West Coast Choppers for more than $700,000 in 2007, while he was married to Sandra Bullock ... according to documents. The woman claimed between 2006 - 2007, Jesse James repeatedly made sexual advances, which allegedly included sexual acts. The woman kept several suggestive emails from Jesse. In one email in 2007, which is included in the file, Jesse wrote to the woman, "Need anything before I split?" She responded, "Some Tums." Jesse replied, "I have some special fluid that you can drink and it makes it all better ...."

Wow. Really? "Special fluid"? My pickup line of "This is gonna sound way gayer than it sounds, but that's a nice purse" has gotten me laid more than this. And by "more", I mean "once".



Thanks to the always great Magnus for sending me this. I hear he got a hand job from Ana Faris once then he started crying. I'm not sure what that was about. Haha, not so great now are you Magnus?!

In the least surprising news of the day, Sandra Bullock is consulting with several divorce lawyers after Jesse James bombed the Pearl Harbor of their marriage. We all know what happens after that.

Multiple sources tell TMZ reps for both Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have been interviewing divorce lawyers. We're told Sandra's reps have been in touch with several high-end divorce lawyers. Our sources say Lance Spiegel, who handled divorces for Charlie Sheen, Heather Locklear and Michael Jackson, is the frontrunner. As for Jesse, we're told his business people have contacted several lawyers as well, but he will not be initiating the divorce. We're told his reps are asking the attorneys "if they'd be interested in taking the case" if Sandra files. As for whether a divorce petition will be filed, one source simply said, "Something's happening."

Look at the banner picture. Then look at the pictures of Michelle "Bombshell" McGee below. Now look at the banner picture again. I get the feeling the judge will sentence Jesse James to a five minute head start before he releases the gargoyle.