Based on these pictures of Jessica Lowndes on the set of 90210 yesterday, it's obvious that she wants me to lick her vagina. Haha, OMG because I was just thinking about doing that like not even five minutes ago! I can't believe how in sync we are! It's almost like we're dating and we'll be getting married soon in a quiet ceremony on the beach with just our closest family and friends. I'll wear white linen pants and a puppy with a scarf around its neck will carry the rings and Foreigner will play at the reception and everybody will enjoy my lemon cookies and we'll have a bouncy house for the kids then I'll get her pregnant that night.

Jessica Lowndes released a music video for her song "I Wish I Was Gay," and it's as visually stimulating as you'd imagine. Just be sure to watch it on mute, or else you'll wish you were deaf.

I thought I was done posting Halloween pictures, but Jessica Lowndes dressed up for the Halloween party at the Roosevelt as something with big boobs passing out breath mints and Marlboro Lights. But to be honest, I just like the idea of her passing out.

I just saw what I subjected you to on the homepage yesterday, and it made me feel a little guilty. Here's Sofia Vergara and Jessica Lowndes at a pre-Emmy party to cleanse your palates until Kong Kardashian or Chaz Bono do something else. We cool?

I really don't think it's a big secret that if I was walking on the beach and found a genie lamp, my first wish would be a threesome with Jessica Lowndes and Ashley Greene. Then my second wish would be for them to make me a sandwich. Then my third wish would be for them to be quiet for 15 minutes. God, you can't shut up for 15 minutes? What's so important? Huh? What's so important? Oh, you're gonna walk away now? If it's so important let's hear it. Your cat have another dream? You can't find anything to wear in your three closets? You hit that parked car because it jumped out in front you? What? By the way, don't use so much mayonnaise next time. You hear me Ashley? I need to drop you two off at Subway so you can learn to be a sandwich artist? Christ.

Apparently it's swimsuit week here at IDLYITW, so here's Jessica Lowndes and her hot ass on the cover of FHM. I would impregnate her then leave her alone to raise the baby on her own of course, but why her? She isn't a respectable actress. She isn't on a highly successful show like Mad Men. She isn't worshiped as a goddess. Why isn't Christina Hendricks on the cover of FHM in a swimsuit? (*)



(*) = LOL!!

I don't know what the National Movie Awards are in London are, but now you do because Jessica Lowndes wore this dress. Man, how exciting! Stay tuned to IDLYITW for breaking news as it happens!

btw, "tucked in" is a euphemism for "having sex with her vagina". Just pointing that out.

Jessica Lowndes attended FHM's Sexiest Women in the World Launch Party held at Marlebone in London last night and left looking pretty sleepy (here she is awake). She's sleepy, yet still conscious and able to walk. Well, that was money well spent. You'd think somebody who sells an illegal drug to make it easier to date rape a woman would actually care about customer satisfaction and the quality of his product. This is totally unacceptable. Quite frankly, I'm thinking about writing him a stern letter.