Jimmy Kimmel tweeted this last night, and I incorrectly guessed Michael Jackson. As it turns out, it was Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen who of course showed up with a trash bag of shit he's trying to sell and looking completely cracked out looking like he just stole a car stereo. Too bad he didn't have a cordless drill I could have held for him for $10. Speaking of which, fuck you Ikea.

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman's reps have confirmed they've broken up after five years of dating. Vanity Fair says:

Kimmel's rep Lewis Kay and Silverman's rep Amy Zvi both confirmed that Jimmy and Sarah are no longer dating and issued a joint statement that "Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment."

Yeah right. This is probably another ratings grabber from Jimmy's show. Next week we'll see some sketch on Kimmel where Sarah is crapping Jimmy into a toilet and singing,

"I pooped Jimmy Kimmel.
There he is in the bowl.
I shit Jimmy Kimmel.
Went through my colon, he's still whole.
On my tongue,
down my throat,
and the lil',
man in the boat.
Wipe my crack,
front to back..."

Okay, I'm done.

Rachel Bilson gets banged [Hollywood Tuna]
Paris Hilton and another douchebag join forces [Dlisted]
Heidi Klum comes up roses [Just Jared]
Amy Winehouse will launch her own fashion line [Hollywood Rag]
Madonna goes to jury duty [ASL]
Cher or drag Cher? [City Rag]
Ashlee Simpson pretending to be Britney Spears (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
David Beckham stops to smell the flowers [Popsugar]
Elizabeth Banks is fucking Seth Rogen [Popoholic]
Brooke Hogan's bikini photo-op [Egotastic]
Karolina Kurkova's topless photoshoot (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Guffaw: Nobodies are not "stars" (Webster's Is My Bitch)

Jimmy Kimmel's response to Sarah Silverman fucking Matt Damon: