Actress Jodie Foster has been accused of battery and bodily force after she attacked a 17-year old kid who approached her for an autograph. I don't know, time to change your menopause medicine?

"Jodie Foster attacked my son at the parking lot at The Grove," the father, who wishes to remain anonymous, told RadarOnline.com. "Jodie pushed and shoved him leaving scratches and bruises on his arm." According to a police report, the incident occurred on May 29 between 1:50pm and 2:00pm with a report of battery and bodily force. The description reads: "Vict while at The Grove saw susp and began to take pics of susp with his camera then walked to the valet area of The Grove. Susp followed vict, poked him on his chest, grabbed vict by his left arm causing visible injury." The father of the alleged victim told RadarOnline.com exclusively: "My son was at The Grove with his girlfriend and they were going to see a movie. He saw Jodie Foster and is a big fan so went over and took a picture of her. "She came after him, poked him in the chest and said, 'Do you even have a mother you slime ball?'" The family tells RadarOnline.com that their son was really confused and apologized profusely to the actress. "He didn't mouth back at all and was scared of her," the father said. "At one point Jodie's son even came over to my son and apologized. Her kids were really embarrassed.

See, this is why I live in the South. Everyday in the news you hear of stories of vicious gay attacks. You can't even walk the streets without one of the menaces beating you up then handing you tickets to Spring Awakening. I'm not saying we should round up all gay people and put them in detainment camps. Or am I? Come back tomorrow to see me say black people steal and Asian women can't drive!

Michael Smegal, a 39-year old Massachusetts man, was arrested yesterday for making bomb threats to California's Van Nuys Airport that contained references to Jodie Foster. The Boston Herald says:

More than 100 threatening letters were mailed to the Van Nuys Airport between September 2007 and January 2008, all of which were sent from either Massachusetts or Rhode Island. According to an FBI affidavit, the letters all contained an identical block-letter message that read in part, "Jodie Foster S" and the words "going to be a gas bomb in this building." The FBI affidavit states that starting in 2004 Smegal began mailing letters to Foster. One included a prepaid cell phone, with instructions to call a number. Foster's security guard called the number and spoke to a man who identified himself as Michael Smegal. In the course of that conversation, Smegal used the phone to send the guard a picture of himself and his dog. In 2005, a postal inspector visited the suspect's Holliston home, where Smegal allegedly admitted to mailing letters to Foster and vowed to stop, the affidavit states."

Jesus, Jodie Foster has more male stalkers than a deer, but in case nobody told them, here's an update - Jodie Foster doesn't like dudes. Even if you blew up the airport and Jodie was super flattered, at best the only thing you'd get would be a friendship bracelet that her life partner made and some free tickets to an Indigo Girls concert. Yeah. You could see how that would be considered a major flaw in your plan.

As you may remember, 23-year old John Hinckley, Jr. attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981 trying to impress Jodie Foster:


Jodie at Sundance a couple months ago: