Joseph-Gordon Levitt performed Bad Romance at Manhattan’s Pianos last week and my knee-jerk reaction would be to call him a homo, but as you dive into this stirring cover version of a lame song by a Madonna wannabe, you see that Levitt exposes it for it's Rich Cronin-like lyrical style. In case you're wondering, that's not a compliment.

Konichiwa, bitch. E! Online (via iNTouch Weekly) reports:

According to the tabloid, JGL and Lucy Liu were spotted last week at Periyali restaurant in New York City having quite the romantic diner. "They were kissing at the table, and she was stroking his arm," an onlooker tells the magazine. "The age difference didn't seem to bother Lucy at all. They looked good together—and very comfortable!" Did Hollywood's hot new hunk really nab himself an older lady? That's not what we're hearing. A rep for Lucy and Joseph (the two stars have the same publicist) denies the two are a couple, saying they are "not romantically involved in the least." We're gonna go with business over pleasure for this dinner. Apparently, Lucy already has a boyfriend, and the meal the two shared was nothing but friendly. Good to know, these two seemed just a bit random for our taste! Then again, when we witnessed Joseph getting cozy with Devon Aoki back in June at the BING party we were a little taken aback too.

I really don't care who Joseph Gordon-Levitt is dating, but umm, does E! employ any Asians? I get the feeling if they did, E! would make the lobby music "Chopsticks" and have a strict "no roast duck" policy in the employee handbook, because apparently white guys look weird with Asian chicks.

Christopher Nolan can absolutely no wrong, and now that Inception is done, he turns his now full attention to Batman 3. Which of course is now leading to widely speculative casting rumors. Cinematical reports:

First Showing has heard from a source who has laid eyes on a "casting grid" that names The Riddler as a character in Batman 3, and has Joseph Gordon-Levitt's name alongside the character as an "interested" actor. It's important to know that Gordon-Levitt's name on there is in no way confirmation that he'll take the part, and more likely a reflection of the pervasive Internet rumors that said Nolan wanted Gordon-Levitt for the role-- or at least a logical assumption that Gordon-Levitt is on the shortlist. It's also worth noting that the Batman 3 script isn't yet finished and there's been no formal casting process whatsoever, so while the Riddler's involvement in the third film may be assumed by lots of people, don't ever stop expecting the Nolan brothers to switch things up at the last minute.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a Joseph-Gordon Levitt fan (Mysterious Skin and Brick are two of my favorite movies), but isn't Levitt just an undead version of Heath Ledger and isn't The Riddler basically The Joker without the higher prescription dosage? There's a reason I write for a low rent celebrity blog and don't cast big-budget studio films, but what about Daniel-Day Lewis as Victor Zsasz? Or Bob Hoskins/Ben Kingsley as The Penguin? Or maybe throw in a curveball and cast Viggo Mortensen/Leonardo DiCaprio as Lex Luthor? Or better yet, my penis in Ashley Greene's ass? All of these seem like pretty reasonable options to me.

Zooey Deschanel, the rich man's Katy Perry, is still engaged to the Death Cab For Cutie guy, which we had silently hoped would only last a few days before she realized that Dave, the FNG blogger, was waiting patiently for her, willing to take a job as her personal assistant and man whore. But, I guess it turns out I only have so much "whore" to go around, and you all know I'm using it on my knees to make rent money.

Here's Zooey's Sundance portraiture for 500 Days Of Summer, her film with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

You may only remember Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the little boy on 3rd Rock From The Sun, but he's 27 now and kinda looks like Heath Ledger. With recent roles in Brick, Manic, Mysterious Skin, and The Lookout, he's established himself as a successful young Hollywood actor. He also got to pretend to get it on with the unbearable hotness that is Claudia Schiffer in the April 2008 issue of GQ. So, in many ways, Joseph Gordon-Levitt's life has many similarities to mine. Except with way more eye contact with girls and way less 12-sided die.