Joss Stone was at the BET Honor awards in this flashy silver number, and boy is she tall. She's so tall, I want her to look down at me and stomp on me with her heels. If I happen to avoid kidney failure, I'll rise off the floor and use my tiny body to pin her to the wall...

Sorry, my thoughts got away from me. I'll be in the bathroom for a second. With my laptop...

Here's Joss Stone in a scene from the movie, "Snappers," where she makes out with some chick. Some of you may be turned off by this movie's perceived glamorization of homosexuality, but don't worry. These aren't real lesbians. These are the kind Jesus likes.

Joss Stone has been trying very hard to attract attention lately since she needs to sell her new CD, and producers like Dallas Austin have been helping quite a bit. Here she is doing her best Rainbow Brite impression and giving people a nice view up her skirt. I tried to care, but I don't live in Care-A-Lot and I'm not a Care Bear. This trophy with a star on it which is tattooed on my chest is only there because I'm a champ. Plus, the guy who put it there while I was passed out drunk was really impressed by my oral skills. Don't question me.

Labels: dallas austin, joss stone, joss stone upskirt

In videos that hit online last week, music producer Dallas Austin alleged that Joss Stone and Christina Aguilera have sex with producers in exchange for music. Turns out Joss and Christina didn't think that was a compliment. In a coincidentally well-prepared statement to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Austin said:

Every action generates an equal and opposite reaction. My statement about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone was a reaction to an incident I care not to discuss in any forum, and while I may have felt justified, I do owe an apology to Christina, Joss and their families. The comments I made about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone were purely an act of retaliation not of malice or cruel intent. As we all have our boiling points, I sincerely apologize as this is not my character nor should I have let anyone’s actions push me to this limit. I have let my family, friends, employees and business associates down with my actions. All content and any malicious statements that were in my control have been removed from outlets that may have posted this. Please accept this as my formal statement and apology to all parties involved."

Wow, that didn't take Christina's lawyer long. I wonder if they tied Dallas Austin's hands behind his back before they bent him over? I hope they used rope or something, because handcuffs just seem so impersonal.


Source

Labels: christina aguilera, dallas austin, joss stone

I only barely know who Joss Stone is, but that's probably because I'm not a producer. Because according to this video of Dallas Austin, if I was a producer, Joss Stone would have sex with me in exchange for tracks. I've never heard one of Joss Stone's songs, so I'm guessing sex isn't her strong suit. This chick supposedly has a great voice, so it's weird that she doesn't have a hit, but a talentless fug like Fergie is all over the radio. I guess that's what happens when you're too stuck up to do anal.


Update: Random Joss Stone bikini candids. Because they were there.


Update: About Dallas Austin on Christina Aguilera:

Labels: joss stone, joss stone bikini, nsfw, video