Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson are in St. Petersburg, Florida filming Spring Breakers, and since there really isn't anything to do in Florida north of Miami except become a serial, go to Wal-Mart, or underage drink, they went to a sports bar with their boyfriends, Justin Bieber and Ryan Good.

Couples Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson and Ryan Good out for some fun and dinner at a sports bar in St. Petersburg, Florida on March 11, 2012. Shortly after arriving Justin stormed out of the bar and Selena chased him to the car. His security team drove them down the street to an alley where they had a private conversation. They then returned to the restaurant and upon leaving they all seem like they had a little too much to drink even though they aren't old enough to drink.

Who the hell knows what they were arguing about. Probably nail polish. Anyway, Selena is obviously hammered, but just look at Justin Bieber and Ryan Good. If science could somehow find a way to combine them it would be like some kind of Voltron Douche. Including Selena Gomez's cervix, I want punch everything in these pictures.



Pic/blockquote source = Fame Flynet

Justin Bieber is a frail, Canadian wigger douche who despite having rappers in his videos, still manages to look like a dyke figure skater waiting for gender reassignment surgery. Anyway cougars, he's 18 today. Just thought I'd let you know in case you wanted to go to a rated-R movie and split a wine cooler with somebody today.

No, you guys. This isn't Peter Pan or a lesbian figure skater, it's something way more gay. It's Justin Bieber's wax figure that was unveiled at Madame Tussauds in Las Vegas yesterday. That's cool and all, but wouldn't this pull a bigger crowd at Penn State?

In the February issue of V Magazine, Justin Bieber explains that he loves God so much that he doesn't go to church. Awww.

”A lot of people who are religious, I think they get lost," he tells V Magazine in the February issue. "They go to church just to go to church.” Justin, however, is not that way. He believes that he can still be a religious person without going to church. “I’m not trying to disrespect them,” Bieber explains, “but for me, I focus more on praying and talking to Him. I don’t have to go to church.”

Please keep in mind that these statement come just days after he got a ridiculous Jesus tat. So much like the the people with the fish car magnets who flip you off if in traffic, Bieber would rather make a sanctimonious display than actually live by anything that the dead guy on his calf talked about. Also, going to church seriously cuts down on the amount of time you could spend getting teen pussy.

By the way, I'm going to be a doctor but I don't think I really need to go to medical school for that. Wish me luck, everybody!

Justin Bieber is currently dating an underdeveloped and fertile Mexican chick who has already aborted his love child, so what better way to forget about all that than to spend your every waking moment at the Playboy Mansion?
Hollywood Life reports:

Justin Bieber’s not even an adult yet, but according to a new report, one of his favorite past times is hanging out with Hugh Hefner and his Bunnies at the Playboy Mansion — yikes! Justin Bieber is really living the straight man’s dream! Even though he’s only 17, the pop star reportedly has unlimited access to the Playboy Mansion, and isn’t afraid to use it. Isn’t that a little inappropriate? “Justin is obsessed with the Playboy Mansion,” a source told MSN. “He actually has permission to show up whenever he wants. He’s invited to every party and he even visits just to hang with Hef.” We know Justin celebrated his birthday at the infamous mansion earlier this year, but this is a whole new level. Do you think it’s okay for a teenager to be surrounded by scantily clad women all the time? Also, what does Selena Gomez think?

Justin Bieber is famous, worth millions, and has a penis. That's really the only criteria to be allowed to visit the Playboy mansion whenever you want. Because the Playboy mansion is filled with women who like famous penises that can double as a printing press. I guess what I'm saying is that this shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone. What should be a surprise to everyone is this bump on my thigh. While I go obsess over it for the rest of the day, I ask that all of you keep me in your prayers.

Note: The banner pic is of Playboy Playmate and perfect woman Jessica Burciaga instead of Justin Bieber. I hope that doesn't offend anyone.

Selena Gomez posted this picture of her and a dog in her lap on Twitter today, and I know it's not newsworthy in any way, but I assume this is what a scene in Twilight would look like if it starred Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. The first twenty minutes would be Bella giving Jacob a squeaky toy after he went potty on his puppy pad.

Here goes nothing. No, seriously. TMZ says:

Justin Bieber took a DNA test on Friday night in New Jersey, and now it's baby mama's move ... TMZ has learned. We've learned ... Justin took the test at a lab under "very controlled circumstances." We're told there is a solid chain of custody, so it's going to be hard for Mariah Yeater or her lawyer to challenge it. As we first reported, Justin's team will NOT settle or even discuss settlement with Yeater or her lawyer. It's now up to her to provide DNA results from Mariah's baby. Justin has vowed to sue Mariah and her lawyers once he establishes he's not the daddy. Mariah's lawyer was unavailable for comment.

I really don't see the point of any of this. It's going to be really embarrassing for everyone involved once Mariah and Justin publicly learn that you can't get pregnant from scissoring.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were at the 2011 American Music Awards last night where they cuddled and pretended that she didn't abort his baby and that he wasn't in the middle of a paternity suit. They also apparently pretended that he wasn't wearing a velvet tuxedo he got from Tiny Town.