As soon as the curtain was pulled back on the Kardashians after Kim Kardashian's fake, E!-sponsored wedding to Kris Humphries exposed them as the lying, anything-for-fame whores that they are, Kris Jenner and E! have done everything in their power to paint their cash cow, Kim Kardashian, as a helpless victim of love and a selfless humanitarian who all of a sudden cares about the people in Haiti. People are stupid, so of course they're buying it. But hey, remember when Reggie Bush dumped Kim in 2010 then Kanye West and Amber Rose broke up in 2010, then Kanye was on Kim's show but they told everybody they were just friends? Oh, you do? Oh, good! Radar Online reports:

“Kim is one of the main reasons why me and Kanye are not together,” Amber exclusively told Star. “She’s a homewrecker!” According to Amber, she was dating Kanye when he and Kim first hooked up -- and Kim was dating NFL star Reggie Bush! “They were both cheating,” Amber, 28, said. “They were both cheating on me and Reggie with each other.”

Well, let's not get carried away here, Amber. Maybe Kanye and Kim connected at an emotional level as two people trying to juggle relationships in the spotlight oh wait no that's not it they were totally fucking and Kim is a deceitful bitch.

Amber says it was Kim, 31, who instigated the whole affair by calling, texting and sending racy photos of herself to Kanye.“She was sending pictures, and I was like, ‘Kim, just stop. Don’t be that person,’” but apparently Kim didn’t care enough to respond when Amber emailed her for an explanation. “I thought at least she’d be woman enough to respond to me. She never responded.” Amber slammed Kim for her cheating ways. “It’s very important that us women stick together and we don’t f**k each other over like that.” However, Amber is current dating Wiz Khalifa, 24, and has credited Kim for helping her find true love. “I want to thank her,” she said about Kim. “Because if she was never a homewrecker, then I never would have met Wiz, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.”

So, Kim Kardashian was in a relationship with Reggie Bush (and even picked out engagement rings), but was texting Kanye West titty pics the whole time then didn't even have the balls or decency to admit it or apologize once she was called out on it? Man, I can't even believe what I'm hearing. It's almost like the heavily-edited, scripted drama executive produced by Kim's mother purposefully lied to me. Hang on, I need to sit down for a minute. The shock is just too much for me to process right now.

Kim Kardashian at LAX yesterday on her way to Dallas. You hear that, Vince Carter? Awww yeah:

Maybe her talent was bunny boiling. The New York Daily News reports:

Has Miss Universe Albania 2010 become Miss Albatross 2011 to Kanye West? Or is she the one who's being hassled? A source in Angela Martini's camp claims a "disgruntled (but media-savvy) ex-hanger-on" and "suspected stalker" of the Albanian beauty queen has been using "pseudonymous identities and e-mail addresses" to send out "false stories" about her obsession with the hip-hop star. These emails, according to the source, are being investigated by the NYPD and D.A.'s office. We were the recipient of one of those emails, and the thing is, at least some of the information contained in it, checks out with independent known sources. As we first reported last May, Martini, 25, and West dated earlier this year.
The dapper rapper has since moved on, but Martini, it seems, has not. According to the anonymous tipster, the hottie is still infatuated with West. Martini allegedly even "visited a fortune teller to see if she will be with" West in the future." And when she didn't get the answer she wanted, the tipster wrote, "she had a fit and stormed out." After claiming Martini has also been telling people that she and West "are in love" and will one day be "married and have caramel babies," the tipster noted that Martini's modeling agency here, Elite, had ended its relationship with her. When we ran this last part by the model agency, an Elite rep confirmed that the company had parted with the 5-foot-10 beauty last Monday. Another insider, who has provided us with accurate information about Martini in the past, says the fortune teller incident is accurate and adds that Martini crashed the CFDA awards in June in hopes of encountering West. (The rapper presented an award to Celine designer Phoebe Philo.) Martini was unsuccessful in her quest. Yet another source who knows Martini tells us: "Angela is definitely still obsessed with Kanye," and upset that the hip-hop star is rumored to have "moved on."

The most shocking thing about this story is that the psychic was accurate and this chick didn't ask for March Madness picks or Powerball numbers. But at the end of the day, we create our own destiny. I can't help but wonder if the fortune teller's answer would've been different if Angela started herself on Chaz Bono's hormone therapy.

Mommy issues and a God complex. That's the only way I can explain this. TMZ reports:

West was performing at the Big Chill music festival Saturday night ... when he went on one of his signature rants ... this time focusing on the hardships of being so painfully misunderstood. "I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I'm f**king insane ... like I'm Hitler." He continued, "One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did." Moments later, Kanye suggested that he needed to be the MJ of music, "Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It's so much f**king going on in music right now and somebody has to make a f**king difference."

I really don't know what Kanye's magic mirror is telling him, but I think the "people look at me like I'm f**king insane ... like I'm Hitler", is really "hey, look. A black guy in an argyle cardigan and a fur coat. They still do that?".

Man, I really need to start wearing a baby blue argyle sweater and throw temper tantrums when MTV doesn't give me an award. New York Post reports:

Kanye West has set his sights on yet another gorgeous model -- blond Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue beauty Kate Upton. The star was spotted sneaking in the back door at the Victoria's Secret VIP Swim event at Club L in Los Angeles at 11:30 p.m. and sitting with impossibly attractive Upton. A spy reports the two were seen flirting and left hand-in-hand through the back door to avoid paparazzi around 12:30 a.m. Also at the bash was Miranda Kerr, who showed she was back to supermodel form after giving birth just three months ago.

Look, I'm not saying Kanye West needs to die, but if he did, how will Kate know if she can ever get over a heartbreak? I'm just trying to help her grow as a person.

Kim Kardashian says that Kanye West encouraged her to release a single. MTV UK says:

"OK, I'm not a singer, this isn't what I do. I have too much other stuff going on. Is this really something safe for me to do?'

She continued: "Kanye was actually one of the people who really talked me into doing it and telling me, like, 'Hey, look, what do you guys do for fun? You guys go shopping, you go to the movies. Kind of step into our world for a second and have fun, and we go to the studio.'

Despite the song being produced by The-Dream, Kim claimed that herself and her sisters do take advice from Kanye, stating: "Kanye came to see the store and check out what we were doing in New York City."

"He's someone we look up to and just think as like, in the fashion world... someone that we've always just taken advice from. He wanted to come check out the store, and while at the store, I was really uncertain about the music thing."

I'm having a hard time suspending my disbelief that Kim Kardashian needed convincing to record a song in a room full of black men. I imagine an extra biscuit would work much better and much faster than reason. Especially when the reason comes from someone who willingly banged this. To her credit, Kim used to get her advice from a magic 8-ball, but sources suspect Lindsay Lohan stole it.

It appears Kim also takes advice from Madame Tussaud:

Kanye West went on the Today Show this morning to discuss and sorta kinda apologize for his comments directed at George Bush during Hurricane Katrina. He was contrite, lucid, and made some pretty good points. Then Matt Lauer played a clip of Taylor Swift. I don't know if Matt Lauer put him down for a nap or put him in timeout or what, because the video ends before the temper tantrum does.

Taylor Swift at the 44th Annual CMAs:

Kanye West is a whiny little bitch and an unrepentant jackass, so when he said "George Bush don't care about black people" during a telethon for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, it wasn't a surprise. An even bigger surprise? George Bush knows who Kanye West is. E! Online reports:

"He called me a racist," Bush said of West's ad lib during the Hurricane Katrina telethon. "And I didn't appreciate it then. I don't appreciate it now. It's one thing to say, 'I don't appreciate the way he's handled his business.' It's another to say, 'This man's a racist.' I resent it, it's not true." During the interview, Lauer read a passage from Bush's memoirs, Decision Points, which dealt with the sound bite heard round the world, writing, "Five years later I can barely write those words without feeling disgust. "I faced a lot of criticism as president. I didn't like hearing people claim that I lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction or cut taxes to benefit the rich. But the suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Katrina represented an all-time low." "Yeah," Bush told Lauer of the passage. "I still feel that way as you read those words. I felt 'em when I heard 'em, felt 'em when I wrote 'em and I felt 'em when I'm listening to 'em." Lauer decided to pull the former president up on his suggestion that Kanye's undeniable low blow represented the nadir of his terms in office—that him simply being insulted by a pop star about his reaction to Hurricane Katrina was worse than dealing with the devastation the natural disaster caused, worse than the 9/11 attacks, standing under a rather ill-advised "Mission Accomplished" sign…you get the point. "Don't care," Bush said. "No, and I also make it clear that the misery in Louisiana affected me deeply as well. There's a lot of tough moments in the book. And it was a disgusting moment, pure and simple."

Much like the white victims of Hurricane Katrina, George Bush took offense to those comments. But it's been two years since Bush was President, isn't it time he stop blaming the rich elite and their hurtful rhetoric and get his point across without sounding like a crybaby? Why can't he j...wait a second...who am I talking about again?

Barely a week after tour dates were announced, Fame Kills, the joint tour featuring Kanye West and Lady Gaga, was canceled yesterday without explanation. Us Weekly reports:

Live Nation made the announcement Thursday but did not offer any explanation, according to the Associated Press. The tour -- titled "Fame Kills" -- had been in the works for months and was set to kick off next month, on Nov. 10 in Phoenix and it was planned to run through at least January. After multiple apologies posted to his blog, he blamed not taking time to grieve over his mother's 2007 death as the reason for his outburst during an interview on Jay Leno's show. "So many celebrities, they never take the time off," he said. "I've never taken the time off to really — you know, just music after music and tour after tour. I'm just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else's hurt... But I need to, after this, take some time off and just analyze how I'm going to make it through the rest of this life, how I'm going to improve."

Man, I'm glad Kanye has put his own interests aside to deal with his issues and to get the help he so seriously needs. Only except he's not doing that.
TMZ reports:

If Kanye West doesn't regret hijacking Taylor Swift, he will now -- we're told his concert tour with Lady Gaga was scrapped because ticket sales sucked. And "sucked" happens to be a nicer version of the word we were told. And not only that -- our insiders say another factor in the cancellation was West and Gaga's people were at each others throats like their last names were Gosselin.When it came down do it, we're told Gaga decided she'd be better off playing smaller venues ... and far from the headache caused by Kanye's ever present drama.

Kanye West and Lady Gaga are supposed to be two of the biggest stars in the world, but then you realize he's a whining 3-year old in a argyle sweater and she's the mortal enemy of the Smurfs in drag who couldn't sell out tickets to Kidz Bop on Ice at an elementary school gym. It must suck knowing that people would rather pay to see a monkey playing the cymbals than you two freaks on stage.

Sir Gaga wearing something horrifically stupid yesterday. I didn't see that coming: