Guess What?


Rapper Common and his charity organization held a benefit show at the Hollywood Palladium on Saturday night where Nas, Ludacris, Mos Def, De La Soul, Heavy D and Queen Latifah were some of the featured performers. So was Kanye West. Guess which one of the people listed here threw an epic temper tantrum backstage? I'll bet you'll never guess! Vibe reports:
Apparently, Kanye West's character-check getaway isn't going too well. The rapper was allegedly upset over his not being offered food while in the dressing room backstage. After spotting a man eating chicken, West blurted, "Why wasn't I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating... why am I not eating?" When the waitress explained that he never asked for food, 'Ye yelled, "Well, I'm asking now!" After receiving chicken, he allegedly proceeded to take a bite and then throw the rest in the trash. Meanwhile, the rapper's beau Amber Rose, stood silent, while other celebrities backstage watched in awe.

Seriously, at this point, I don't know whether to give this spoiled brat a hammer strike to the temple or just let Super Nanny watch the video of what happened backstage on her way to his house. He's either gonna be in a coma or on the bad bad mat. Either way, he'll at least have to shut up for five minutes.

Kanye West and his girlfriend....er, ummm...boyfr...no wait, humanoid replic...umm extra terrest...aw, fuck it, I don't know. Whatever it is, they call it Amber Rose:

Kanye West Might Not Go To Rehab


Instead of blaming his desperate need for acknowledgement and acceptance brought on by his mommy issues and narcissistic God complex, Kanye West is blaming the makers of Hennessey for making him run and whine on the stage at the MTV VMA's to interrupt Taylor Swift's acceptance speech like a 3-year old who just dropped an ice cream cone. Of course it was. If it wasn't for Hennessey, Kanye would be a completely rational and sane person who solves problems and diffuses potential conflicts with logic and reason. Screw you, evil Hennessey!! MSNBC reports:
Star magazine and other publications are reporting that West is blaming alcohol for his breach in decorum, and that as soon as West wraps his “Fame Kills” tour with Lady Gaga this January, he’ll head to rehab.West hasn’t blogged about it, there was no comment from his camp, and friends close to West say it’s not true, so maybe this is just the product of a game of telephone gone awry during a slow news week. But if there’s a real reason for West to go to rehab, of course, he should go.

Of course, Kanye isn't going to rehab. There's no cameras or microphones there for him to annoy to the shit out of people. The only way you could get this jackass to go is if Ryan Seacrest suddenly became executive producer of a treatment facility.

I have no idea who Krystal Forscutt is, but when I entered "Kanye West" in the Splash pic forums, these pictures came up. Good lookin out, God:


Fame, By All Means, Please Do


I'm not sure how a video of a mentally unstable black dude carrying a hermaphrodite in lipstick is supposed get me excited about a concert, but Kanye West and Lady(?) Gaga really think it's a good idea. Also a good idea: Kim Yong-il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stockpiling nuclear weapons. I mean, it is a world tour, so the percentages play into our favor.





Kanye West Is A Jackass. Officially.


Say what you want about President Obama, but instead of listening to The Gaithers: A Christmas Homecoming on his iPod while he's bombing an abortion clinic or following Widespread Panic around while passing out flyers to make bestiality legal, he actually is a pretty cool guy and is aware of the world around him. My point being, he just called Kanye West a jackass. So let me just say, "Oh, snap!" or "Zing!" You know, which ever applies to you in this case.

Oh Boo Hoo


Kanye West was on the Jay Leno show tonight and Leno asked him what his mommy would think if she saw what he did. The clip ends before the awkward pause, but I'm pretty sure he asked for his blankey and some graham crackers.

CRYBABY UPDATE: The full clip is up. Now with 100% more mommy issues!!

BONUS VIDEO: Oh, that Kanye! He'll never learn!!

The Guy On The Right Is Coming For You Kanye


Everyone in the world hates Kanye West today, but if I was Kanye, I'd be a little worried about the guy who played "Wolf" on American Gladiators. He's supposedly a "pretty big name in the rodeo circuit" so of course he likes country music. And Taylor Swift. Kanye West? Not a fan. In an open letter to TMZ he writes:
"Hey this is Hollywood Yates or WOLF from American Gladiators.

Just thought Kanye might want to know I hang with alot of the Country Artist and I will bump into him somewhere... HARD and several times!!! He is an ass and needs taken down, maybe Criss B can be there too. School is about to open and lessons about to be taught!

Ya'll Take care! Hollywood/WOLF"

I'd probably want to see if my mom could find a good Montessori school to bus me to if I was Kanye, because this guy's school seems like it might be a little dangerous. But I blame white people for all this. Seriously, would it have killed you to pick your own cotton?


Note: Calm down, it's a joke. My grandfather cried when he saw people littering on the street so chill out.

"IM NOT CRAZY YALL, IM JUST REAL"


Kanye West is a pouting little drama queen who throws a tantrum if he thinks for a minute that the world doesn't revolve around him, so somebody must have had a gun to his head for him to issue this "apology" to Taylor Swift on his blog last night. He makes a point to say he isn't crazy, so what the hell are you, Kanye? So full of hate you want to go out and fight everybody! Because you've been whipped and chased by hounds. Well that might not be living, but it sure as hell ain't dying. And dying's been what these white boys have been doing for going on three years now! Dying by the thousands! Dying for you, fool! I know, 'cause I dug the graves. And all this time I keep askin' myself, when, O Lord, when it's gonna be our time? Gonna come a time when we all gonna hafta ante up. Ante up and kick in like men. LIKE MEN!

Note: The last part might sound better if you can ask Morgan Freeman to read it to you. Sorry.

Kanye West Is An Asshole


If you watch this then wake up tomorrow still a Kanye West fan, there's good news. You don't need a 5-day waiting period to throw yourself in front of a car. Rolling Stone reports:
Leave it to Kanye West to produce one of the most infamous moments in VMAs history before the 2009 show was even an hour old. It happened after Taylor Swift’s victory in the Best Female Video category for “You Belong To Me,” which beat out Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It).” Just moments after Swift accepted the Moonman and began her acceptance speech, Kanye West stormed the stage, taking the microphone from Swift to announce Beyoncé deserved the award. “Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!,” Kanye shouted to a mortified Swift and the speechless audience. And as quickly as he ran onstage — MTV cut away to show Pink, and when they flashed back to Swift, West already had the mic in his hand — he was off, leaving a shocked Swift in his wake.

I haven't seen either video, because personally I couldn't give a shit, but if there was a way that Sam's hologram could tell me I had just quantum leaped into Taylor Swift's body at that exact moment, this wouldn't be as awkward. Because I'm sure the base of my palm in Kanye's nose would've cut down on his speech a little bit.

Kanye and his girl(?)friend or something that just escaped from its exhibit: