David Cook, winner of season 7 of American Idol, announced yesterday that his brother, Adam, died after a long battle with brain cancer. Adam Cook passed away in a Terre Haute hospice at 1am Sunday morning surrounded by family and friends. The Insider reports:

"He took a turn for the worse this weekend and David rushed to get home. He was surrounded by his family, including his wife Kendra, his children, his father and his step-mom, among others."

Not to sound like an ass, but hopefully David Cook can use this to write some better songs. All Kurt Cobain had was stomach pains and he managed to do okay, so brain cancer has to be good for something other than whatever vagina begging music Cook is doing now. Look man, I appreciate your mascara and the fact that you know a few chords, but you can see how you winning a karaoke contest means you'll never rock anything other than a junior high prom or an episode of Gossip Girl.

Yeah, so since I'm not going to post pictures of David Cook or some Debbie Downer with cancer, here's the insanely hot piece of American Idol ass, Katharine McPhee. I'm here to spread joy!:

I was under the impression that Katharine McPhee was dead, so imagine my surprise when I found out she was in Hawaii filming a movie nobody is gonna see You May Not Kiss The Bride. Good thing for me, because she has brown hair and big tits and that's sorta my thing. She used to be fat and she married a 43 year old dude when she was 22, so this should pretty easy. All that's standing between me and unlimited anal is a few compliments and a trip to a petting zoo. And maybe an ice cream cone. Good, because that's sounds pretty cheap. I mean, really, have you seen the price of ether these days? What do these people think, that I'm made of money?!

I rather watch zombies serve my torso at a picnic than see House Bunny, but a lot of hot ass showed up at the premiere last night, and in case you missed it, scouring the Internet for pictures of "hot ass" is kinda my job description. That is, of course, until I can find a way to start getting paid to just think about hot ass. Toddco* has a solid business plan, but apparently potential investors fail to see how masturbating constitutes a core competency. Insolent fools!

* A division of Handsome Industries, Inc.

RCA records has announced that it has dropped American Idol runner-up, Katharine McPhee, after her debut album failed to go gold despite debuting at #2 on the album charts in February. A top BMG executive told the New York Daily News:

Katharine was hot for a few months. But audiences are fickle."..."We put millions behind Katharine. Many of us at the label still love her songs. But we're in the major leagues. We didn't think she could break into the mainstream. We would rather be honest."

Yikes. Instead of this quote, they could have rolled Katharine McPhee up in a rug and dropped her off a cliff. It would've been basically the same thing.

Katharine singing the national anthem at the Orange Bowl on January 3rd:

Paris Hilton makes funny of Lindsay Lohan [Just Jared]
Cindy Crawford breeds pretty children [Dlisted]
Offensive Coke ad [College Humor]
Lindsay Lohan is screwed [Hollywood Rag]
Ashlee Simpson looks generic [Popsugar]
Carmen Electra does Fergie [Hollywood Tuna]
Mandy Moore is vampy [Egotastic]
Chuck Norris had plastic surgery [City Rag]
Avril Lavigne runs around naked and drunk [Popoholic]
More of Anne Hathaway's boobs and boyfriend (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Jordan (Katie Price) flashes her panties (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Rgis and Kathie Lee reunite [ASL]
Keira Knightley does Elle magazine [Horny Oyster]
Bye Bye Bye (Mission Man Band) [Pajiba]

Katharine McPhee, Anna Faris, and Rumer Willis on the set of House Bunny:

Nature can be a cruel mistress sometimes, and other times it will blow a chick's skirt up. And other times it will blow a chick's skirt up when there are other people around with cameras to take a picture of it. Hey God, you're such a perv.

It's Friday the 13th so it's technically a special occasion, and that usually means pictures of Jessica Biel. Specifically, pictures of Jessica Biel at the premiere of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. After the premiere, Jess (that's what I like to call her) and I enjoyed a simple candlelit dinner, nothing fancy. I had to eat mine outside and stare at her through the glass, but she seemed to scream with joy when she opened the present I got her. She was so excited, she even called the police to come and see it. I really hope she liked the heart. That homeless guy seemed pretty attached to it.


Anna Faris:


Katharine McPhee:


Emmanuelle Chriqui:

A woman on Myspace, simply known as "J," has vowed to starve herself until American Idol contestant, Sanjaya Malakar is voted off. Considered by many to be the worst singer in the history of the top 10, Malakar has remained on the show due to Howard Stern listeners and Vote For the Worst. "J" says:

Aside from the initial debacle with contestant Antonella Barba, season 6 was starting to look like it may be actually very good. The big voices of Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones, the innovative styling's of Blake Lewis, and the smooth R&B of Phil Stacey are just a few of the hopefuls with immense potential. However, there is one hinge in this broad spectrum of talent this year ... Sanjaya Malakar...So until the day that Sanjya is no longer American Idol, I will be going on a hunger strike. This means I will refuse to eat anything until American Idol voters wise up, and stop voting Sanjya through each week."

Wow, who says young people today don't stand for anything? This chick is just like Gandhi. But instead of protesting British rule in India, she's protesting a talent show. Through her great personal sacrifice, millions won't care less if she lives or dies. What an indomitable spirit!

Sanjaya and family:



Katharine McPhee on March 21st:

Labels: american idol, katharine mcphee, sanjaya malakar