If Madonna is the whore teen mom who got knocked up after playing beer pong when she should have been in second period, Lady Gaga is her 13-year old daughter in her fifth foster home who got raped by her foster brother with Downs Syndrome. Forced to have the baby, she threw it in a dumpster where it resurfaced years later in Australia in this abomination called a bikini. They call the creature Ke$ha. Without looking at all these pictures, I can honestly say I'd rather see a bikini contest in a burn ward than to ever have to edit pictures like this again.

Ke$ha takes safe sex seriously. TMZ reports:

Ke$ha wants to make sure your junk is covered the next time you have sex ... and now she's putting her face on 10,000 condom wrappers to prove she means business ... TMZ has learned.

Sources connected to the singer tell us Ke$ha banged out a deal with LifeStyles Condoms ... which agreed to provide 10,000 customized rubbers for the singer to fire off into crowds at her upcoming shows ... beginning on Monday.

I commend Ke$ha's efforts, but abstinence is still the best form of birth control and STD prevention. Repulsion can help with that.

This picture of singer(?) Ke$sha covered in semen hit on Buzzfeed about an hour ago, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't a fake, so I waited to post it. Then I realized the pictured included the words "covered in semen", so I no longer cared. Mostly because if a girl lets you jack off on her and take a picture, you should marry her. I think Toni Morrison said that in a book somewhere.

I have no idea who Ke$ha is, but apparently she went out to a club in London last night without panties and obviously no nerve endings on her ass.