The 44th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards was last night, and I really need to make it there one year. Not because I like songs about domestic violence and broken dreams, but because it's probably the best award show if you're looking for the greatest concentration of hot, skinny white chicks. I tried the American Latin Music Awards one time, and before I got in, some latin guy came up to me and stuck out his hand and said "Hola". Then I just threw him my wallet and my keys at him and then hid behind a trash can. What does "Hola" mean?!! Is that some kind of gang slang?! Oh God, somebody help! Help!!!



Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler:



Marisa Miller, Julianne Hough, Kaley Cuoco:

It's been awhile since I've seen Fatal Attraction, but unless Ali Larter plans on uncrossing her legs and giving us a peek at her lower hemisphere, we can't get behind Obsession. Unless, of course, there's some huge catfight where Ali and Beyonce tear at each other's clothing until their punching each other in the abs and Jay-Z and Hays MacArthur have to come in and break it up.


After they watch for a little and have a few brews, that is. Because there's no point in getting in the middle of a catfight. Just let them tire themselves out.


Enjoy these pictures of Ali Larter's butt. We're guessing you'll like them at least 50% more than you liked the above trailer.

A lot of people are saying that Kellie Pickler got new boobs, and Ryan Seacrest basically comes out and asks her, but I really can't tell. Maybe it's because I don't know who Kellie Pickler is or I pretend not to know who she is out of sheer embarrassment because she's from North Carolina. Raleigh is the Silicon Valley of the east coast, but this was our representative on the most popular show on television. Thanks for the overblown accent. She might as well be wearing a NASCAR hat and driving a 1997 Camaro with a boat hooked up to the back.