Kendra Wilkinson and her long-time boyfriend, Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver, Hank Baskett, at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday. I rode go-karts on Saturday. Suck on that Kendra! Us Magazine reports:

Wilkinson's former Girls Next Door costars Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison, as well as their ex Hugh Hefner, were among the 500 guests. "I’m ready to marry the man of my dreams," Wilkinson told Us shortly before tying the knot. "He’s one in a million. I’m so lucky."Wilkinson, 24, wore more than $100,000 worth of platinum and diamond jewelry by designer Michael Barin. She personally selected the 4.25-carat platinum drop earrings ($47,000), the 2.5-carat platinum pendant ($33,700) and the 4.5-carat bracelet ($21,000). Her brother Colin walked her down the aisle (Hef was originally slated to do the honor but Wilkinson changed her mind).

Hey look, two people you don't care about (one who you couldn't recognize on the street) got married this weekend. I hope you're gonna be okay now that it's over. Maybe you can read the back of a cereal box or put a glass on a coaster to see if there is some way you can recreate the excitement of this moment.

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There's a 5-day waiting period and you have to take a special safety course if you want to be the registered owner of my penis, and I don't know that has to do with anything, but ex-Playboy model and former wigger from E!'s The Girls Next Door, confirmed she was pregnant today. She says on her blog:

hi everyone!!!! so the rumors are true…i am pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hank and i were beyond excited when we found out the news and ive been dying to tell all of you but we were waiting for the perfect time to do it. im sorry if you heard it first elsewhere…that’s not how i wanted it to happen, but im so glad its out in the open now.

I think it's cute that she thinks the whole world was on pins and needles to find out if an ex-stripper was really having a baby with a 5th-string NFL wide receiver with 6 career touchdowns, but I can't really say that I hate Kendra Wilkinson. She's gratingly annoying and epically dumb, but she's always happy and generally seems to mean well. She's like the Snuggle fabric softener teddy bear but with bigger tits and a way more accommodating vagina.

If you're into romantic reality shows where a whore finds love with a marginal NFL player, then tune into E! this Sunday to see Kendra Wilkinson show her ass, try to pronounce words, and giggle like a epileptic getting hit by a power line when she wonders why she can't cook a chicken in the toaster or why she thought quick dry cement was laundry detergent. I'm not exactly sure about those last two, but it's Kendra Wilkinson, so I kinda just assumed.

As you know from television and trips to the mall food court, all wiggers are gratingly annoying and comically nonthreatening in every possible way. Look, I realize you think I'm supposed to be scared because you're a 120 pound white guy in a Kobe jersey and Lil' Wayne airbrushed on the jean shorts that come down to your ankles (we call those capris in case you're wondering), but sorry, man. I'm not. I'm really not. I'd have a better chance of getting scared by riding a seesaw or watching a kitten jumping on a ball of yarn. Eek!

I don't know why I just wrote all that. Maybe it's because Kendra Wilkinson is a wigger? Who knows. But, look! Tits!

Because vaginas and cars aren't that different. If you have kids, they both get bigger and less luxurious. [BWE]

Believe it or not up until recently, Kendra Wilkinson didn't know that you had to put stamps on letters before mailing them. Good thing she's got the looks, right guys? [ImNotObsesed]

Paulina Porizkova is on a topless beach at St. Barts and it's lookin' good. [CityRag]

I wish Carrie Underwood would kiss me like she kisses her awards. [FatBackMedia]

Charlize Theron wants a baby and I want to give Charlize Theron a baby that I then don't have to raise. Is there someone who can work this out? [ICYDK]

I may rightfully hate Lauren Conrad for cursing TV with The Hills, but it's hard to hurt anyone that looks that good in a bikini. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Foxy Brown let one of her nipples come out an play at a recent concert. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

The New Moon/Twilight cast continues to assemble in Vancouver, meaning that's probably where the next hellmouth will erupt. [LaineyGossip]

Kendra Wilkinson, the most angular and outspoken of Hef's ex-wives, the Girls Next Door, has recently revealed to Us Weekly that being Hugh Hefner's kept woman wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

"Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates," she said.

"The most we kind of say to each other is, 'I love you,' 'Love you too,' 'I hope you have a good day,' 'Did you have a good day?' "

Despite the lack of face time, Wilkinson says fellow ex-girlfriend and "Girls Next Door" star Bridget Marquardt never strayed from their boyfriend.

"Bridget told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being."

Kendra was kept on an allowance of $1,000 dollars a week, which means an annual eye-candy payday of $52,000 a year.

Which means I'm too poor to hire a wife. I always expected that, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear. Maybe I'll get a discount wife from a poorer neighborhood.

Not wasting any time after leaving the Playboy Mansion, former Girl Next Door, Kendra Wilkinson, got engaged to her long-time boyfriend, Philadelphia Eagles WR, Hank Baskett, last weekend. How engaging! Yahoo! News reports:

"Holly Madison isn't the only Girl Next Door to find a new press-pleasing public relaysh. Our snoopy Seattle sources say GNDoor Kendra Wilkinson's BF, Philly Eagle hunk Hank Baskett, proposed to her atop the Space Needle this past weekend. Dreary Northwest weather, so romantic. But it gets better: Both fams were present for the proposal, and Ken-babe seemed completely shell-shocked at the revealed ring. H.B. even got down on one knee to pop the big q to the former Playmate. Tho our source swears she saw the whole happy event with her own eyes, we inquired with K's reps...haven't heard back. But, a close Kendra friend has confirmed, "it's true."

It's been a pretty good week for black guys, so hopefully nothing bad happens that might kill this upswing of momentum they're having. Like a ban on prepaid cellphones, for instance.

Kendra at Mariah Carey's Halloween party:


Photos: Splash

There have been a bunch of rumors lately that Holly Madison and Hugh Hefner's relationship was basically over, so good news if you were hoping that was true. Holly Madison confirmed it last night to a TMZ camera man. Everyone get prepared, because this 'reality television' breakup is gonna turn the celebrity gossip world upside down. In this job you read and see a lot of things, but a relationship between a 28 year old gold digger and a 82 year old millionaire close to death not working out? No way, man. Just no way.