I rather watch zombies serve my torso at a picnic than see House Bunny, but a lot of hot ass showed up at the premiere last night, and in case you missed it, scouring the Internet for pictures of "hot ass" is kinda my job description. That is, of course, until I can find a way to start getting paid to just think about hot ass. Toddco* has a solid business plan, but apparently potential investors fail to see how masturbating constitutes a core competency. Insolent fools!

* A division of Handsome Industries, Inc.

Here are more pictures of Kendra Wilkinson at that golf thing a couple days ago. Specifically, more pictures of her ass hanging out. I realize she's a wigger, but white girls with big asses can really do no wrong. Kendra Wilkinson could pour a can of gasoline on a puppy, and I would still compliment her on avoiding known price gougers.



Photos: Splash

Kristin Kreuk has short hair [Just Jared]
Bruce Willis blesses the paparazzi [Dlisted]
Pamela Anderson could have been Agent Scully [Hollywood Rag]
Blake Lively drops some cleavage [Popoholic]
Adriana Lima forgets to wear her bra [Hollywood Tuna]
Mandy Moore enjoys her down time [Popsugar]
Hayden Panettiere hates nerd germs (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
John Mayer does David Beckham [City Rag]
Kanye West might get his own show [Lainey Gossip]
Minnie Driver handles a dildo (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Paulina Rubio is at the beach [Egotastic]
Samantha Ronson gets her hair did [ASL]
Small Potatoes (The X-Files: I Want to Believe ) [Pajiba]

Kendra Wilkinson at the Celebrity Skins Classic yesterday:

It's not really surprising that Kendra Wilkinson would be on a show called "Celebrity Rap Superstar." Wiggers love that kind of shit. That and Honda Civics. And jean shorts with oversized t-shirts with Scarface or Tupac airbrushed on the front. What they don't like is being shot at. Oh please, quit being such a pussy. I wasn't even aiming for your head.

I know it's probably not cool to make fun of a charity event, but good lord, could the "D" get any bigger on this list of attendees? And was Valtrex one of the sponsors? I don't see Coolio, the lesbian who used to be Anna Nicole Smith's assistant, or the guy who played "Joe the Policeman" on the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Mama" anywhere. They must have declined their invitations.


Pictured: Kim Kardashian, Kim Kardashian's ugly mom, Robin "Trannycat" Antin, Kendra Wilkinson, Bobby Trendy, Bobby Trendy's underwear, Jenna Jameson, Gemma Massey, Laurena Lacey, David Hasselhoff

Los Angeles police are currently investigating an alleged sexual assault that took place inside the Playboy Mansion over the weekend. NY Daily News reports:

The investigation was launched Monday, according to a Los Angeles Police Department statement. "For reasons of law and confidentiality that are critical in such investigations, no additional information will be released," LAPD spokesman Jason Lee said. A message left with a Playboy spokesman was not immediately returned, and no details were immediately available."

Man, that sucks. I guess topping E!'s list of "Most Desirable Places to Commit Sexual Assaults" didn't help. I just don't know what E! is thinking sometimes.

After reading the June issue of Elle, which featured an interview with the Girls Next Door, Playboy Playmate, Kendra Wilkinson was reportedly furious after she saw that writer Daphne Merkin didn't sugarcoat the article. Page Six reports:

Wilkinson was hurt that she was described as "giving off a palpable air of anxiety." Merkin also quoted Wilkinson as saying her fake breasts were "my best investment" and said the blonde referred constantly to her "slight acne." "I'm very insecure right now about my face," Wilkinson told Merkin. "I get scared with Hef looking at me at the mansion and maybe thinking I'm ugly." Merkin also mentions Wilkinson's "fleeting attention span," her "dazed personality and limited vocabulary" and quotes Hefner describing Wilkinson's "distinctly unintellectual charm" by mockingly saying, "Books? What books?"

On an appearance on Larry King Live, Hefner promised to defend Kendra's honor.
Instead, he wrote this letter:

I just finished reading your article . . . and think it's the best, most perceptive piece on the show to date...I hope you get a chance to do a longer story for the New York Times or The New Yorker."

Hugh Hefner has been inside more 18 year old kitty than a frat boy, so I doubt he's worried about how Kendra might feel. Plus she's kinda dumb. And fug. If she wasn't in Playboy, she'd be the white stripper in the black strip club giving out handjobs for a shot of Grey Goose. A shot of Hennessey? Oh snap, she'll rock your world!

Kendra, beach, zit on stomach: