"LOL I have to pay this Chinese person or whatever she is. Any black guys outside?"

Because Kris Jenner doesn't have full editorial control and isn't allowed to make the truth into a lie, the founder of BoycottKim.com is being sued by the Kardashians. Imagine that. Fox News reports:

A web site blasting all things Kim Kardashian has finally gotten under the reality star’s skin. Kim Kardashian has reportedly sicced her high-powered lawyers on the founder of BoycottKim.com, a web site that claims, among other things, that the Kardashians are “un-American” and that the family is "a stain on our culture" and "an embarrassment for our country." The founder of BoycottKim.com was contacted by the Kardashian family’s general counsel Christopher T. Wilson, who said that hard-boiled Hollywood attorney Martin Singer intended to file a criminal harassment complaint against him. “They try to scare you,” the web site’s founder, who laughed off the threats, told the New York Daily News. “They do not want bad publicity.” During what is described as a “lengthy phone conversation” between the web site’s founder and Wilson, the attorney “expressed dismay” over an item on the site suggesting that readers contact Singer to voice their opinion on published reports that Kardashian-endorsed products were made in Chinese sweatshops. The founder of BoycottKim.com, who wishes to remain anonymous, claims that he “did not encourage anyone to harass” Singer, but instead “encouraged them to call with their own personal opinion." Singer's name and contact information has since been removed from the site. BoycottKim.com has gathered more than 512,000 signatures from people who have pledged not to do business with companies associated with the Kardashian clan.

I really don't have a joke here, but if my monthly stats are correct, if every one of you signs this petition, we can increase their signatures by 600%. So get on that. Look, your porn or the website about cats will still be there when you're done. Jesus, it will only take a minute, asshole. Quit being such a little bitch.

Kris Jenner is Buddy Israel. I hope everyone realizes that:

As soon as the curtain was pulled back on the Kardashians after Kim Kardashian's fake, E!-sponsored wedding to Kris Humphries exposed them as the lying, anything-for-fame whores that they are, Kris Jenner and E! have done everything in their power to paint their cash cow, Kim Kardashian, as a helpless victim of love and a selfless humanitarian who all of a sudden cares about the people in Haiti. People are stupid, so of course they're buying it. But hey, remember when Reggie Bush dumped Kim in 2010 then Kanye West and Amber Rose broke up in 2010, then Kanye was on Kim's show but they told everybody they were just friends? Oh, you do? Oh, good! Radar Online reports:

“Kim is one of the main reasons why me and Kanye are not together,” Amber exclusively told Star. “She’s a homewrecker!” According to Amber, she was dating Kanye when he and Kim first hooked up -- and Kim was dating NFL star Reggie Bush! “They were both cheating,” Amber, 28, said. “They were both cheating on me and Reggie with each other.”

Well, let's not get carried away here, Amber. Maybe Kanye and Kim connected at an emotional level as two people trying to juggle relationships in the spotlight oh wait no that's not it they were totally fucking and Kim is a deceitful bitch.

Amber says it was Kim, 31, who instigated the whole affair by calling, texting and sending racy photos of herself to Kanye.“She was sending pictures, and I was like, ‘Kim, just stop. Don’t be that person,’” but apparently Kim didn’t care enough to respond when Amber emailed her for an explanation. “I thought at least she’d be woman enough to respond to me. She never responded.” Amber slammed Kim for her cheating ways. “It’s very important that us women stick together and we don’t f**k each other over like that.” However, Amber is current dating Wiz Khalifa, 24, and has credited Kim for helping her find true love. “I want to thank her,” she said about Kim. “Because if she was never a homewrecker, then I never would have met Wiz, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.”

So, Kim Kardashian was in a relationship with Reggie Bush (and even picked out engagement rings), but was texting Kanye West titty pics the whole time then didn't even have the balls or decency to admit it or apologize once she was called out on it? Man, I can't even believe what I'm hearing. It's almost like the heavily-edited, scripted drama executive produced by Kim's mother purposefully lied to me. Hang on, I need to sit down for a minute. The shock is just simply too much for me to process right now.

Kim Kardashian at LAX yesterday on her way to Dallas. You hear that, Vince Carter? Awww yeah:

While Chinese kids hold in their pee to sew together the dresses for her Kollection for $15 a month, Kim Kardashian kommands $600,000 to appear in Vegas and do nothing. Radar Online reports:

The big winner is Kim Kardashian currently embroiled in a scandal about sweatshop conditions at the Chinese factories that manufacture some of her clothing lines. The former Mrs. Kris Humphries is being paid an estimated $600,000 to appear at Tao. The fee is part of a large, multi-event deal. Also in Las Vegas, Black Eyed Pea Fergie is earning about $100,000 for playing the new 1Oak at the Mirage Hotel and Casino, reports The New York Post. Ashton Kutcher had several big money offers but turned them all down. Katy Perry, a source tells The Post, was asking $250,000 to appear but not perform at a club. So far, have not been any takers. P. Diddy was in talks to perform at the opening of Hyde in Vegas but the deal wasn't to his liking ... Other reality stars including Kourtney Kardashian and her baby daddy Scott Disick, and several members of the Jersey Shore are also making Vegas appearances.

Fergie is the cheapest one here and is the only one who would actually be doing anything for her money (though in Katy Perry's defense, she should never be paid to sing whatsoever). The rest of this list should never be paid to show up anywhere other than a shooting range.

E! News waited until 4pm yesterday to acknowledge that their cash cows use Chinese slave labor, and in a shocking turn, it was completely slanted and subjective. I think I'm using the word "shocking" wrong.

"The story is not true," the Kardashians' rep, Jill Fritzo, tells E! News. The family was tipped off the explosive allegations after the dubious tandem of Star magazine and Radar claimed that certain items from the K-Dash by Kardashian label, the Kris Jenner Kollection and ShoeDazzle, a company cofounded by Kim Kardashian, were made under horrific conditions. The publications alleged factory employees often work up to 84 hours a week in non-air-conditioned facilities and earn only $1 an hour. That prompted a probe by the watchdog group Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights. The family itself said it was taking the accusations "very seriously," and after checking things out determined the report was wrong.

Kris Jenner is taking the allegations so seriously in fact that instead of flying to China personally to see the working conditions of these factories that allow her to make $65M in profit instead of $10M herself, she's now suing anyone who might have the audacity to suggest that her sole purpose in life is to make as much money as she can.
TMZ reports:

The Kardashian family is preparing for war -- gearing up to unleash a legal attack on everyone who claimed their clothing line is manufactured in child slave labor sweat shops in China ... TMZ has learned. Sources close to the family tell us ... Kris Jenner is furious -- claiming the guy who runs the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights had no right to accuse the Kardashian brands of wrongdoing because he has no tangible proof to back up his claims. Jenner also believes Star Magazine's cover -- which screamed "Kardashian Sweatshop Scandal" -- was not only unfair ... but libelous ... and it should have to pay for any damage that has been caused to the brand's reputation.

Kris Jenner exploits and whores out her own children on primetime television, so let's not kid ourselves into thinking she gives one fuck about some starving Chinese kid making her shitty clothes 84 hours a week. The Kardashian family is a microcasm of everything that is wrong with America. It's funny how the whole family feigns concern about the genocide in Armenia and the atrocious conditions in Haiti, but have no problem putting a shock collar around some Chinese kid's neck with no other options if he doesn't make his daily quota of cropped fur vests. Fuck them I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Wait, you mean people who shop at Sears don't want to look like an Armenian transvestite hooker in animal print? I wasn't expecting that. MSN Money reports:

Kim Kardashian became a world sensation almost overnight. The celebrity has her own reality show and millions of fans. So you would think the fashionably chic Kardashian Kollection would have been besieged by shoppers and sold out during the Black Friday rush. After all, practically all major retail stores, including Macy’s (M -0.35%) and Target (TGT +0.58%), were swamped by tens of thousands of eager shoppers. But that wasn't the case at Sears (SHLD -2.52%), where the Kardashian Kollection held sway and was among the elegant products displayed for sale. In fact, Sears was betting the Kardashian name and collection of fashion products would stir up consumer excitement. Wrong. The products hardly brought in the gushing crowds that celebrity products usually attract. Kmart stores (a Sears unit) also introduced products named after another rising mega star, Sofia Vergara, of the TV show "Modern Family." But "these initiatives have not been effective," said Marija Dabovic, a retail industry analyst investment research firm Value Line. The Kardashian Kollection consists of almost every product that women would want in the world of celebrity fashion, complete with winsome dresses, fashionable shoes and jewelry, and trendy handbags, intimates, belts and sunglasses. Alas, the electric Kardashian name failed to deliver. There are no signs of a turnaround at Sears. "Sears Holdings has yet to see meaningful improvement," says Dabovic, as the company continues to be in the red, posting losses in every quarter so far this year.

I'm sure sales will pick up now that everybody knows that the gorgeous long-sleeve crepe wrap top that gives you a flirty look for the next be-seen evening adventure was actually made by a Chinese child chained to a wall who gets four minutes and a bucket in case he has to take a shit. The American people love heartwarming stories like that during Christmas time.

So, about those clothing lines. Star (via Radar Online) reports:

A prestigious human-rights watchdog organization has launched an investigation into America’s top TV family, with officials imploring the Kardashians not to profit from what amounts to “slave labor.” “The Kardashians are in bed with some pretty bad people,” Charles Kernaghan, the executive director of the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights, tells Star. “Not only are celebrities like the Kardashians taking advantage of these workers, they are holding hands with a government that spits on democracy and women’s rights.” ... Items in the family’s high-end K-Dash by Kardashian label and the Kris Jenner Kollection — sold on the home-shopping television network QVC — and ShoeDazzle, a company that Kim cofounded and endorses, are all manufactured in areas of China where government regulations are often ignored and workers are subject to inhumane conditions. ... The sweatshop workers live in squalid factory-run dormitories filled with the stench of sewage while toiling up to 84 hours during seven-day work weeks to produce some of the goods that helped Kourtney, 32, Kim, 31, Khloé, 27, mom Kris, 56, and the rest of their family earn $65 million last year. Shockingly, the impoverished workers earn just a paltry $1 an hour, slaving away in factories in the Guangdong region of China, which Kernaghan describes as being "like minimum-security prisons." The region is a “scary place,” Kernaghan continues, where the peak summer season is “brutal,” with temperatures inside non-air-conditioned factories soaring to over 100˚F. Workers in the region can come out with as little as $15 a month once rent and food debts have been paid to their bosses. “You can’t talk during working hours,” Kernaghan adds. “You can’t listen to music; you can’t stand up and stretch. You can’t even put your head up and look around, or you will be screamed at. If you get permission to use the toilet, you get four minutes. If you’re highly specialized, you cannot even go to the bathroom.” Star has learned that human-rights groups have dispatched their undercover investigators to a number of factories that have been linked to the Kardashians. And, Kernaghan says, it is time for the world and the Kardashians to take some responsibility. “Kim has been very fortunate, but it’s time for her and her family to treat these workers with respect,” he tells Star.

The fact that the Kardashians endorse human rights abuses to earn a buck should not be surprising to anyone except the Kardashians themselves. I really think they were just confused and thought they were spreading the wealth, because warm weather, slaves, and sewage are all themes in Kim's sex tape that made them famous.

Surprise! Radar Online reports:

"Kris was with Kim and her family in Bora Bora, and he playfully threw her in the sea. Kim emerged from the water, freaking out, with cameras rolling, shrieking that she had lost one of her diamond earrings, which are worth $75,000," the source says. "Kim was crying hysterically, but then miraculously, one of her younger sisters found the earring in the ocean, where the group had been swimming. It was probably 6-8 feet deep, and Kris commented to Kim how unbelievable it was that the valuable earring was found as the current in the ocean in Bora Bora is very, very strong. Kim just said, 'I know,' with very big smile on her face." Although Kris' eyes have been opened, and he's been left with a nasty taste by the whole experience of his whirlwind relationship and 72-day marriage, he does still have respect for one member of the family. "Kris says that Kim's reality shows are a total sham. He doesn't think there is anything real about the shows at all. Kris thinks that Khloe is truly the only authentic one among the Kardashian sisters," The source says. "Even though they didn't get along, at all, he respects that Khloe does what she wants. If Kim and Kris had stayed together, and he had gotten traded to Dallas, like Lamar did, he knows Kim wouldn't have moved with him like Khloe is doing."

Reality TV isn't real and an ugly girl was forced to develop a personality. In related news, pie is delicious and clouds are fluffy. I know, I couldn't believe it either!

Lindsay Lohan has a well-documented obsession with legendary actress, singer, sex symbol and trainwreck Marilyn Monroe. Now Kim Kardashian is angling to be the new Elizabeth Taylor. Right. TMZ reports:

Kim Kardashian just dropped $65k to outbid a gang of serious jewelry nuts for 3 unbelievable jade and diamond bracelets that used to belong to Elizabeth Taylor ... TMZ has learned. Taylor's entire collection of rare and expensive jewelry was auctioned off in NYC this week for a whopping $116 MILLION ... and Kim was one of the bidders. Sources close to KK tell TMZ ... Kim idolized Taylor -- especially after Kim did a magazine interview with Liz for a project shortly before her death. So when Kim saw LT's 3 jade and diamond Lorraine Schwartz bangle bracelets on the auction block, she snatched 'em up for a cool $64,900. We're told Kim believes jade harnesses energy ... and now that she owns the bracelets, KK feels she will share a deeper connection to the Hollywood icon.

While Elizabeth Taylor got a lot of shit for her multiple marriages, please bear in mind that she's one of the most iconic film actresses of all time, one of the most beautiful creatures to grace this earth, and was renowned for her charity work (that she didn't hire camera crews to photograph her doing). Kim Kardashian is famous for getting a C-list hop-hop star to ejaculate and excrete on her, then turning it into a mind numbing TV series, a plastic face, a train of black dick, an empire of shady business deals, and a fake marriage. If she really wants a deeper connection to Liz, she just needs people to start digging.