Kristen Bell attended the launch of Assassin's Creed II last night, and I really want to think she's hot, but every time I look at her my penis does that thing where you look at your watch then make the speed it up hand gesture. I mean, she's cute, but she looks like her greatest sexual fantasy would be having some guy Force choke her as I tell her that she's put too much faith in the technological marvel that she's constructed.

Excuse me for not being the biggest Kristen Bell fan, but damn she looked hot at last night's premiere of Couples Retreat. I thought about sending her a letter with some cologne on it, but my grandma says that no will ever love me like she does. Then she put me in my pajamas and made me some cocoa. What a sweet granny!

Nerd wet dream Kristen Bell is in Hawaii right now, and combined with the glasses, if she would've had Princess Leia hair while holding Frodo's ring, we might have had a nerd apocalypse. Thankfully, she's only wearing glasses. There's only one chick I can think of right now who wears glasses that I'd like to drill like Alaska, but for some reason she thinks she doesn't look as hot in them. Which is weird, because I look just as hot in my captain's hat and bedazzled cape. I really thinks it's all about how you carry yourself.

The Rescue? Isn't this was Pete Wentz was going all gay for John Mayer with last weekend?

If it was, no need to remember as neither of them were at this particular event.

Kristen Bell, Ryan Hansen, Benjamin Mckenzie, Kirsten Dunst, Jessica Lucas,Walter Perez and Tom Arnold attend Invisible Children's 'The Rescue' Rally at Santa Monica City Hall yesterday. And if you want to know what went down or why the event happened, you have to head over to TheRescue.InvisibleChildren.com where a 7 page PDF is all that stands between you and knowing what the hell this benefit was for.

Since I know how much y'all hate reading, I took the time to do it for you. I'll also chew your food, but only if your attractive, female and also named Kristen Bell.

Anyway, there is a war in Uganda and the Lords Resistance Army is kidnapping children to be in said army. The Rescue is a plan to arrest the LRA leader and free the child soldiers. The protest/event itself involved "kidnapping" yourself by leaving behind a picture, hiking to a second "camp" and waiting to be "rescued." A successful "rescue" could only be accomplished by having a media outlet there and an approved "Rescuer" who need to be a public figure like a congressman or Kirsten Dunst, apparently.

Does it seem weird that a congressman and Tom Arnold are on the same level, protest-wise? I mean, it makes being a congressman seem much less prestigious

.

A/X Watches had a launch party last night and apparently the way to get actresses to your party is to give them free stuff. Lindsay Lohan looks like death, so you know she was there like an hour early pacing back and forth and chewing her nails in front of the window, so she could hurry up and take whatever she got to the pawn shop. Kristen Bell is only slightly more overrated than an ACC football team and if Hayden Panettiere's head got any bigger, she'd be levitating cars. But the only reason I'm posting these is because of the absolutely adorable Sophia Bush. I kinda almost don't want to sex with her. She's almost too cute. I mean, I would of course, but I'd be afraid I'd poke the talking baby koala cub or the magical pixie that lives in her vagina.

This is a minor personal vendetta against a certain legal department that didn't notice my previous Kristen Bell pics were totally cited and linked, thus forcing me to take them down. I know I left you Bell-less, even if the photos weren't the greatest thing.

Kristen is shooting a film here in NYC, so she swung over to the Gossip Girl set (She's the narrator, ex-oh-ex-oh) to get some free hot dog lunch with the cast. I'm guessing from her lack of make-up (and eyebrows) that she's not so much in the episode, as a big fan of hot dogs.



However, there is one set of Kristen Bell photos that will forever be the favorites, the best, and those are Bell in her Princess Leia outfit from Fanboys.

You're welcome...

Oops.

Kristen Bell either was or is going to be in CoEd Magazine, a magazine for college students.

Whenever/if she's in it already, they are certainly pissed that I posted those pictures. Our bad, we roll over. We comply. They be gone...

Ok, so I have these photos of a Kristin Bell photoshoot by some guy (what do I look like? Google?) and I've been holding on to them waiting for Kristin Bell to make some damn news.

All I got is she's going to be in this new series called Party Down.

Yeah, that blows. Trust me, if I had money for a plane ticket, I'd fly out to LA, and stand outside Kristin Bells house naked except for a sock until I was arrested. But, we can't all be newsmakers, can we? We can only dream.

Complaints about how much I suck for giving you free pictures of the amazingly hot Kristin Bell without any relevant gossip can be directed to the "Dave should stay the eff off our site during weekdays" department.