Barack Obama doesn't fear terrorism, but he does fear filling up on Johnny Cakes before the peach cobbler is served.

Rip Torn knows the ground isn't level, and here I thought it was just me this whole time. [DListed]

This horrible album cover better be the last we ever hear of Sanjaya, or I'm calling immigration like the bigot I've always feared I am. [Seriously?OMG!WTF?]

Kristin Cavallari's 80s costume must have come with authentic 80s cocaine. [Hollywood Tuna]

What George Clooney would look like if we lost all respect for him [CityRag]

PETA begs Bristol Palin to give peas a chance. Meanwhile, I just killed a koala by choking it with my fist. [Celebitchy]

Pink would give Carey Hart away if he married again. Good news, because it's not like he'll fetch top dollar. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Don't you just want to shove something in Reese Witherspoon's mouth when she opens it like that? [Just Jared]

It's with no small sense of pride that I say that I've never watched one episode of Laguna Beach, so I really have no idea if Kristin Cavallari is a math genius or some kind of robot from the future. But considering the fact that she was on a reality show on MTV, and this is just a guess, I assume she is a slutty priviledged white chick who desperately craves fame so she puts on a bikini and hires a photographer to take pictures of her at the beach so she can see herself on sites like this and pretend in her own mind that she's relevant because she was on television three years ago. Sorry, sweetie. You're not. You just happen to look awesome in a bikini. These pictures could have been of you rescuing babies from a burning daycare or stopping a nuclear missile with your hand, but the only way they would have gone up is if they included a closeup of your ass.