Through black magic or roofies or what have you, Lady Gaga somehow managed to land Taylor Kinney. turns out that may not last too long. In Touch reports:

Lady Gaga‘s boyfriend of six months, Taylor Kinney, has told her to check her alter ego at the door when she’s with him. “Gaga started living and breathing her character 24/7 because she felt her fans wanted that,” dishes a source to In Touch. Too bad Tyler, 30, didn’t. While he held his tongue at first, he’s now comfortable enough with Gaga, 25, to make it clear he has no desire to live with a stage act. “Taylor has convinced her that he loves the real Stefani,” says an insider to In Touch. Luckily for him, the singer promised to be “more human” — after all, she wasn’t born that way!

Wait, so you mean an allegedly bullied, egg dwelling, pandering woman from New York City with an inexplicable British accent and penchant for stealing chord progressions from Madonna tracks wasn't being herself? Far be it from me to defend Lady Gaga for anything, but this dude knew what he was in for from the get go considering they met on the set of her shitty videos. The only thing he should ask that she change is her face. And even then, he can always just be a gentleman and grab the paper bag himself.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Madonna does not give a shit -- just ask her about "Born This Way." Us Weekly reports:

"I thought, this is a wonderful way to redo my song ["Express Yourself"]," she tells the mag. "I mean, I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was... interesting." Madonna, 53, isn't the first to question the originality of Gaga's hit song. In April, NME asked the 25-year-old pop star if she thought "Born this Way" was a knockoff of Madonna's song, and she was outraged. "I'm a songwriter. I've written loads of music," she fumed. "Why would I try to put out a song and think I'm getting one over on everybody?" She raged on: "What a completely ridiculous thing to even question me about… If you put the songs next to each other, side by side, the only similarities are the chord progression. It's the same one that's been in disco music for the last 50 years. Just because I'm the first f***ing artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn‚t mean I'm a plagiarist, it means that I‚m f***ing smart. Sorry."

In a sitdown interview with ABC News, Madge continued:

The "Material Girl" sounded lukewarm in U.S. interviews released on Friday, calling her influence on Gaga's music "interesting" and "amusing." Sometimes. "I certainly think she references me a lot in her work. And sometimes I think it's amusing and flattering and well done," Madonna, 53, told ABC News in a television interview. "There's a lot of ways to look at it. I can't really be annoyed by it...because obviously, I've influenced her," the pop star told ABC. The comparisons between the two divas, both known for combining provocative stunts with catchy dance-pop hits, came to a head when Gaga released her "Born This Way" single last February. The song was instantly likened to Madonna's 1989 hit "Express Yourself". "When I heard it on the radio .I said that sounds very familiar," Madonna said. Asked if that felt annoying, Madonna responded, "It felt reductive."

Well damn. I would elaborate further, but Madonna pretty much owned Lady Gaga so much that she could probably change her name to Toby.

A former personal assistant is suing Lady Gaga for unpaid overtime. The New York Post reports:

Long Islander Jennifer O’Neill endured 13 long months as the domineering diva’s personal assistant — and claims she’s owned hundreds of thousands of dollars for the bad romance.
O’Neill, 41, says she had to cater to the 25-year-old pop superstar’s every whim, at every hour of the day and night, handling her schedule, finances and food. She accompanied Gaga on her 2010 Monster Ball world tour. The Garden City gal could barely muster a poker face while “ensuring the promptness of a towel following a shower and serving as a personal alarm clock to keep [Gaga] on schedule,” according to court papers. Gaga was a drag, demanding service everywhere — at her Upper West Side duplex, as well as in “stadiums, private jets, fine hotel suites, yachts, ferries, trains and tour buses.” There were no breaks for meals “or, at times, even sleep,” and O’Neill was required to be on hand for anything the Grammy Award-winning singer needed, at her “earliest waking hour” or for “spontaneous, random matters in the middle of the night,” O’Neill says in court papers. Part of O’Neill’s $75,000-a-year job was “ensuring the availability of chosen outfits” — no small task considering her boss is best known for wearing a meat dress to the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards and dressing like a “human condom” for a February appearance on “Good Morning America.” O’Neill’s Gaga gripes are part of a lawsuit she filed in Manhattan federal court last week against the superstar’s Mermaid Touring company for $380,000 in unpaid overtime. Her claims don’t appear to be unique. Another former personal assistant, Angela Ciemny, was required to sleep with Gaga most nights because the needy diva refused to be alone, according to the book “Poker Face: The Rise and Rise of Lady Gaga.” Ciemny, who had worked for Gaga in 2009, said she and the “Born This Way” singer sometimes did their makeup together and would even hop in the shower at the same time.

Far be it from me to defend Lady Gaga for anything, but other than the sleeping and showering thing, this doesn't sound that different from any other touring outfit -- and this woman got paid better than most personal assistants do for the same job, so I'm not sure why she's crying about this. Considering it's Lady Gaga, the only truly surprising part of this lawsuit is that it wasn't for plagiarism.

Lady Gaga was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta to an internet entrepreneur and lived a life of opulence in Manhattan's affluent Upper West Side. Her daddy's money allowed her to attend the private all-girls Roman Catholic school, Convent of the Sacred Heart, in Manhattan (again) before she was accepted to the prestigious Collaborative Arts Project 21 at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts. So of course she knows all about being bullied and feeling like a freak who doesn't belong. Oh no wait I meant her entire image and persona is a fabrication to pander to the only people who like her music. And apparently she needs to call a brainstorming session with her record label and manager, because obviously she's run out of shit to talk about to make her sound "shocking". Mirror UK reports:

Speaking about her upbringing, she said: “My parents’ room and the one I shared with my sister were on the top floor. There are no doors on the bedrooms. “My parents could hear everything me and my sister said growing up. And I heard them too.” She added: “I love being with my parents, but I also really fear domestication. I just don't have a home. I stay between my friends' places and my parents’.”

OMG! She heard her parents having sex! Can you even believe it?! Maybe in her next interview she'll tell us about the time she heard her parents arguing over bills or what happens when you land on Free Parking or whatever else everybody in the fucking world has heard, you annoying pretentious bitch.

Musical legend Tony Bennett sketched Lady Gaga naked for charity, and she's finally on sale. E! Online reports:

As Vanity Fair subscribers may already know, January cover girl Lady Gaga didn't just get her pose on for famed photographer Annie Leibovitz. The pop superstar also stripped down to her born-this-way suit for none other than iconic crooner—and accomplished artist—Tony Bennett, whose charcoal sketch of Gaga debuted in the magazine and is now up for auction on eBay, with all proceeds going to charity. And, trust us, the only thing missing here is the Heart of the Ocean... The original portrait of a nude Lady Gaga stretched out and propped up on her elbows was drawn with Prismacolor Premier Art vine charcoal sticks on Fabriano Artistico heavyweight watercolor paper measuring 18 inches by 24 inches. Bennett signed the work "Benedetto," as he does with all of his paintings and drawings. At press time, the going price was $5,400 with five days and 21 hours left to go. The dough will benefit Gaga's Born This Way Foundation and Bennett's Exploring the Arts, which he founded with wife Susan Benedetto.

It's a nice thought and all, sure. But I can't even begin to imagine how much more cash they could've collected if their subject had her mouth stapled shut or her face obscured by a paper bag.

Happy World AIDS Day. The New York Daily News says:

There is very little about Lady Gaga that can be safely called conventional, so it comes as no surprise that her beauty routine is anything but. The singer, who has famously donned everything from meat to silicone to feathers, takes unique measures to ensure that her face is flawless as well. "Orgasms, lots of orgasms," she replied when asked what her beauty secret was - though she later copped to the fact that liquid spinach might also help her complexion. The singer was sipping on a vegetable drink during her interview with British Elle. But while Gaga may have only been half-kidding about her regimen of good sex and healthy eating, something the singer is serious about is her work-life balance. "No, what I really mean is hard work and sweat," she said of maintaining a healthy figure and flawless face. Besides, the 25-year-old's busy schedule hardly leaves time for dating, so she has to rely on herself for a little TLC. "I have never felt truly cherished by a lover," she told Vanity Fair. "I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man. "I have this effect on people where it starts out good. Then, when I'm in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it's all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me."

This doesn't explain why Popeye is still more attractive than Lady Gaga. But if her relationships with men start out with unicorns and rainbows, it explains why people assume she has a dick.

Lady Gaga told The Sun what she looks for in a man. Via Us Weekly:

What turns Lady Gaga on? "It ranges from a really big d-ck to a degree at Harvard," the 25-year-old singer tells The Sun. Explains the native New Yorker (real name: Stefani Germanotta): "That's a bit more difficult than a box of Milk Tray and Tesco flowers." Among the pop star's other requirements: "Talent and perseverance and pushing the boundaries of love and acceptance."

I'd say Gaga should probably lose the checklist, but all she needs is talent and a Harvard degree and she'll never have to leave her house again. Because chances are she scratched "really big dick" off at birth.

She pandered. MTV News reports:

Lady Gaga has always made it her mission to empower her little monsters. On Wednesday (November 2), Mother Monster announced she's launching the Born This Way Foundation, which aims to further inspire young people. The pop superstar is even getting some help from her very own Mother Monster, Cynthia Germanotta. "My mother and I have initiated a passion project. We call it the Born This Way Foundation," Gaga said in a statement about the foundation, which takes its name from her hit single and album. "Together we hope to establish a standard of Bravery and Kindness, as well as a community worldwide that protects and nurtures others in the face of bullying and abandonment."

Can we give the anti-bullying bullshit a rest yet? It's unfortunate that people get picked on, but that's life. When these kids turn 30, mom's not going to be there to talk to their guidance counselors, and Lady Gaga will be in her Kabbalah stage and onto a trendier cause, so it's probably a good idea that they just learn to handle with their problems without media intervention. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I've always thought that the most effective anti-bullying method was always to man the fuck up and deal with it. And if that doesn't work, man the fuck up and deck them.