New York really wants to set prisoners up for success. Case in point, Lil Wayne. TMZ reports:

The documents -- which became effective today -- clearly state that Wayne "may not consume or drink any substance containing alcohol" as long as he's on probation ... for the next 36 months.
Wayne is also prohibited from knowingly associating with any person engaged in criminal activity or any person with a criminal record without prior written approval from the probation department.

Hope he likes orange jumpsuits to match his soda, because TMZ also reported that Lil Wayne was going to have a Stereotype Party soon:

Lil Wayne already has 48 bottles of really expensive champagne -- PAID FOR and ready to go -- when he arrives for his prison release party at a Miami strip club this weekend.

It's all going down at a joint called King of Diamonds -- a 50,000 square foot mega strip club that's equipped with a shoe shine station, massage parlor, basketball court and "fine dining."

We're told Wayne and his posse already purchased dozens of bottles of PJ Rose Perrier-Jouët champagne at $700 a pop.

The Big Apple can be a police state at times, but let’s be real. Lil Wayne doesn’t look like Lindsay Lohan. If he got arrested in California, sure, he might get a lighter sentence. But he’d also likely get tased, beaten with batons on video, and do a stint in Celebrity Rehab.

I don’t think Adriana Lima or Candice Swanepoel have ever been arrested, but since Victoria’s Secret sells handcuffs around Valentine’s Day, it seemed relevant enough.

Since New York City is under Nazi regime and only the elite can afford a pack of cigarettes, no citizen is allowed to carry a handgun. So in 2007 when a .40 handgun belonging to his manager was found in a bag a few feet away from Lil Wayne, instead of a misdemeanor, he was sentenced to a year in jail for criminal gun possession. Zero tolerance laws are great! MTV reports:
Lil Wayne was released from the Rikers Island prison facility after serving eight months of a year-long sentence for attempted gun possession. Though a guard told MTV News early Thursday morning that he had to wait another day due to "miscalculated" time, at 8:35 a.m. a spokesperson at Rikers confirmed that Wayne had been discharged....Young Money President Mack Maine stopped by the MTV News offices Wednesday and revealed that Weezy would celebrate his homecoming with a party Sunday at a Miami strip club. According to Maine, Wayne's musical family plans to "just treat him like a king, like the royalty that he is and make him feel like we really missed him and welcome him back to the family, basically."
Much like Asian people with a driver's license and white people with pamphlets, black people with guns scare me. But a fucking year in jail for standing next to a bag that happened to have a gun in it? I don't know, that seems a little excessive. Lindsay Lohan could be found with handgun in a baby's mouth next to a bag with yellow cake uranium and still make her two o'clock pedicure.

I think they'd make a good couple. Their wonky eyes would either breed a Super Wonk or cancel each other out and make a kid with less eyelids and not enough Hershey's syrup in its milk.

You be the judge.

You're not gonna believe this, but a rapper was in court yesterday. Splash News says:

Rapper Dwayne Carter aka Lil Wayne leaves Manhattan Criminal Court at 100 Centre Street in New York City after a hearing where a police officer said Monday she saw rapper Lil Wayne with a gun on his tour bus last year after a concert. Officer Diane Hornung testified in a pretrial hearing that she had gotten on the bus on July 22, 2007, because she saw and smelled marijuana smoke wafting from the bus' open door."

It's hard to imagine someone who looks like Lil Wayne smoking weed and waving around an illegal handgun. When my thoughts drift to Lil Wayne, I often think of him teaching a fatherless boy to throw a football or him helping an elderly lady carry her groceries. I must admit, I'm a little disappointed.


Source: Splash