I'm really starting to feel like I should buy Lindsay Lohan some flowers or something. Or maybe a nice thank you note. Or whatever the proper etiquette is when you see somebody else's tits more than your girlfriend's.



Photos: Splash

Only days after the Kristin Davis sex tape photos were leaked, now a leaked camera phone picture of Lindsay Lohan allegedly giving her ex-boyfriend, Calum Best, a blowjob has hit online. This is now reviving rumors of the pairs' reported sex tape. The picture, which was posted to a forum by a supposed "friend of a friend," is unsexily blurry, but the idea that Lindsay Lohan would have a penis in her mouth doesn't really seem that far-fetched to me. The poster said:

ok well remember that whole lindsay lohan callum best sex tape thing a while back.. that turned out to be bogus..untill now. apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends...which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video. Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She's just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she "cant remember it being filmed."

Lindsay Lohan must have some kind of cosmic power because how we haven't seen her in a sex tape by now is anyone's guess. Instead of squinting at this picture, I should be able to discreetly peruse the back of my local video store for the latest Lindsay Lohan sex tape titles I just made up. Like "Ginger Snaps," for instance.

Click the thumbnail below for the larger NSFW image:


Update: Watch the video clip of the alleged Lindsay Lohan sex tape after the jump (Thanks Max!). There's still no real proof it's Lindsay, but whatever. Warning: The video is very sexually graphic and NSFW.


Here are some pictures of what she looked like back then for comparison:


Related post: Some grainy cell phone pictures allegedly of Lindsay Lohan and friends snorting cocaine in a bathroom stall.

In a statement to People, Dina Lohan says that she approves of Lindsay's nude pictorial in this month's issue of New York magazine. Of course she did:

It was very tastefully done," Dina tells PEOPLE of the photos, a recreation of Marilyn Monroe's legendary 1962 photo shoot shot by Bert Stern. "I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother." ...Lindsay, 21, also viewed the shoot as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Dina tells PEOPLE. "Lindsay was very excited when she first got the phone call," says Dina, 45. "Of course we talked about how they would be done. Lindsay said, 'Mommy, I'm never going to get this opportunity to do it again.' She was very thankful she was asked."

Uh, wow. Besides the fact that Playboy photographers would've made this freckled mess look about a billion times better than grandpa did, Dina Lohan really needs to ask her Garmin for directions back to reality. Look bitch, your daughter got naked for some pictures, let's not turn it into some pretentious discussion about art. Just be glad she's finally getting paid to show us her tits. Lindsay Lohan is like a porn star who talks about how she got into porn to fight the oppression of women right before she gets double penetrated by two black guys in executioner masks. At the judge's convenience, I'm prepared to present the con argument whenever they are ready.

Some hi-res scans have hit online, so enjoy. Or don't. I can't live your life.

Click thumbnails for larger images:

In 1962, photographer Bert Stern took some pictures of Marilyn Monroe which turned out to be her last photoshoot. In an effort to piss on Marilyn's grave, Stern and New York magazine have recreated the famous shoot with Lindsay Lohan:

Forty-six years later, Stern has revisited his classic shots with Lindsay Lohan, another actress whose prodigious fame is not quite commensurate with her professional achievements. Stern, who shot the photos on film rather than digitally, told me he was interested in Lohan because he suspected "she had a lot more depth to her" than one might assume from "those teenage movies."

Stern went on to say, "'A lot more depth to her'" sounds better than 'I want to take pictures of Lindsay Lohan's tits', right? I mean, let me know if I need to reword that."

Click thumbnails for larger images:

Whatever you do tonight, please do it safe. Don't be like Paris Hilton and spread herpes. Don't be like Lindsay Lohan and crash your car while you're drunk and high. If your crotch looks like Britney's, please close your legs.

We'll be back on January 2nd. Until then, enjoy New Year's Eve with Paris and Nicky Hilton. They're "like two niggers!"

In case you're new to Earth, let me fill you in. Lindsay Lohan doesn't like to wear bras when there are cameras around. The Sun says:

Lindsay Lohan has given up a lot of things for good since rehab - and it seems her bra may be one of them. Famous for leaving her underwear at home in the past, Lindsay is showing no signs of changing her ways as we approach 2008. Li-Lo was on her way to dinner at Koi restaurant in LA when she was snapped by an army of paps. Her thin sheer top was too weak for their flashes, though, which showed off her lack of support. I guess it gives new meaning to the phrase 'turning on the Christmas lights'."

Lindsay could take a thousand pictures and at least half would end like this, this, or this. Say what you want about Lindsay Lohan, but the skank does have a great rack. That's why Kiefer Sutherland got sentenced to 48 days and Lindsay Lohan got 84 minutes. Kiefer Sutherland's boobs weren't even perky.

Lindsay Lohan has been trying to get people to talk about her since she got out of rehab, so it's no surprise that she didn't take long to get out of a car with her legs spread. That's the thing with attention seeking whores. Too bad we've seen every part of this chick already here, here, here, here, and here. I guess all that might have worked if she wasn't a freckled mess of nicotine and bronzer. I think it's safe to say that I'd rather fuck a bear trap than Lindsay Lohan.

The folks at ELLE sent us the cover for their September '07 issue and the highlights from their interview with Lindsay Lohan. This was Lindsay's last official interview which was only 36 hours before her first DUI and going to rehab before Memorial Day. Below is part of the interview and, naturally, I had something to say about everything.

On her reputation for drunk driving: "I wouldn't violate ... I'm much more responsible than that. I would not do that."

- Liar.

On attending rehab at Wonderland before her 21st birthday: 'I was growing up and going out a lot, and I needed to have a balance. I was glad I went, because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn't know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends - I was with them last night - they're in AA for, like, years."

- Actually, you only did it because your damage control PR people told you to do it, and according to the people who saw you do it, you still got high in rehab.

On her sometimes-boyfriend Calum Best: "I like him. He's me in male form. We're very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic - I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We'll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas ... I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, 'I caught that!' I was like, 'Damn, I look good!'

- So you're both shallow and stuck up. Got it. Do you pay hookers to fuck you, too?

On the media firestorm surrounding her: "I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel like I'm distracting from the other things that are important, like global warming and that kind of stuff. I genuinely mean that. And I don't know what to do."

- You are an asshole, and an idiot.

On avoiding fame: "I hate it, like, when these people say, 'Well, why do you go to the Ivy if you don't want ..." Seriously, I like their food! I can't go to a restaurant? I know I'm going to get pictures taken. I'm fine with it. And I'm going to go have their food. People give you shit for it: 'Don't go on Robertson!' What, I can't drive down the street?"

- You live for that shit. You'd kill yourself if the paparazzi started ignoring you.

On being photographed without underwear: "It was once, and it was when I was in Venice. And I was rushing through the room, threw the Prada dress on. And that's what happened. And I didn't even see the picture. I don't look at that shit - that's gross. If I wear a dress I have underwear on."

- Actually it was twice, jackass. And it's funny that even you think your pussy is gross.

On sleep troubles: "I have really bad insomnia. My whole life. I get nervous at night going to bed, and being awake alone really freaks me out."

- No, you have a cocaine habit and you're a codependent slut.

On her career aspirations: "I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I've done. It's so funny - people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old."

- Ha ha ha!! Good one! Yes, your raspy smoker's voice and utter lack of any acting range whatsoever in every movie you're in is exceptional talent. I'll nominate you for a nicotine patch and some acting lessons.

The issue of ELLE which will include the rest of the interview will be on the stands on Tuesday, August 7th. And Lindsay will likely be working on her third DUI around the same time.

Note: According to today's Page Six, Lindsay also stole clothing from the ELLE shoot.