A bunch of U.K. chicks got together for Nuts and took off their shirts (NSFW). Among them are Lucy Pinder, Holly Peers, Rosie Jones, and some chick named Lucy Banghard. I wonder if that's her real name. It's like her dad planned ahead before he left her mom.

Because people without SmartPhones need a way to keep track of what day it is, Lucy Pinder made a calendar. Because Todd gets off on big tits and page views (and because Todd pays me), I'm posting it for you (NSFW). Happy Friday!

In case you thought I died in the earthquake, I'm sorry. I survived. And since I'm like an abusive boyfriend who is like Thor's hammer in bed, here's a reminder why you always come back to this site even though your friends think I've brainwashed you and your dad has threatened to shoot me on sight. Lucy Pinder's 2012 calendar is about to come out. You can see the full previews here (NSFW), but if I were you, I'd sit down first.

I just realized that I have Tracy Morgan, burning wreckage, and Britney Spears giving a lap dance on the main page right now, so to signal in a new era of posts that people will actually want to read, here's Lucy Pinder naked in the new issue of NUTS. As you look at these pics, please understand that this is what the media has convinced you that Christina Hendricks looks like when she takes her clothes off. When in reality, Han Solo would use Christina Hendricks to keep Luke Skywalker warm on Hoth, the sixth planet of a remote system of the same name. It is a world blanketed by snow and ice. Many meteorites from a nearby asteroid belt pelt the planet's surface, making temporary craters in the planet's ever-moving snow drifts. Hoth has three moons, all uninhabited. Its native creatures include the wampa and the tauntaun.

CLICK ON THE BANNER (NSFW) TO ENTER A WORLD OF WONDER. AND BOOBS. DON'T FORGET BOOBS.

All any outlets are reporting on is the royal wedding of two mediocre looking British people. Here's topless (NSFW) Lucy Pinder instead. You're welcome.

I don't know what beach this is, and I really don't care, because to reiterate, it's Lucy Pinder sunbathing topless. Yes, I know I just called Kim Kardashian fat, but please keep in mind I don't like her. See how that works?


Click on the banner pic to see all NSFW hypocrisies and double standards

Hey there, just a quick note to wish everybody a happy holiday, and most importantly, to let you know that we won't be back until Monday. In the meantime, I hope Santa brings you everything you want. And, no. I won't get you that. I'm not your daddy, so please stop emailing me about that one thing. And while you're at it, stop drinking. Christ, can't you go anywhere without being drunk? What's wrong with you?! There's kids here for godsakes! What?! Well fine! Drink your life away! I don't even know why I bother with you anymore!

Hey, remember when Frankenstein's monster wanted a companion because he was alone and miserable and said that one as deformed and horrible as himself would not deny herself to him? Yeah, all that other stuff would have been avoided if Lucy Pinder had lived in 19th century England and had died of an ax to the face at some point.