You hear a "Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced" story all the time, but this time it appears to be legitimate, as Madonna has secured the services of divorce lawyer, Fiona Shackleton. The same lawyer who represented Paul McCartney.
London's Times Online reports:

Madonna, whose fortune is estimated to be worth $600 million, is understood to be seeking legal advice on a possible divorce from her husband of seven years, the film director Guy Ritchie. Ms Shackleton, 52, is the lawyer of choice for the rich and famous after what was regarded as the spectacularly well-handled split of Sir Paul from Heather Mills, who was rumoured to be pushing for $160 million...Yesterday Madonna's spokesman refused to comment on the claims. But one lawyer told The Times that the word in legal circles was that Madonna had gone to Ms Shackleton after making an approach to another firm...There has been speculation for some time over the marriage of Madonna, 49, and Ritchie, 39. It is thought that the couple did not have a prenuptial agreement, which means that the starting point for any settlement would be a 50-50 split."

Whatever, it's about time. I know Madonna is ungodly wealthy and considered talented, but she kinda looks like E.T. when Michael pulled him out of the ditch, so it's probably a good time for Guy Ritchie to jump ship. Because talking himself into fucking Madonna probably takes longer than it used to. I'm pretty sure he'd rather be a contestant on The Running Man.

Madonna and company at a Yankee game on June 22:



Photos: Splash

Madonna showed up at a couple movie premieres in Cannes yesterday wearing a see through dress and no bra. Yay, how exciting. If only it was 1988. I've been more turned on by watching Antiques Roadshow.



Photos: Splash

Hey look, it's Madonna pretending to make out with a chick at her concert in Paris last night. I bet you've never seen that before. That Madonna, always pushing the envelope. Too bad it's about as sexy as a CAT scan. I just can't seem to shake the feeling that after this kiss Madonna gave this chick a peppermint candy or a shiny new quarter.

Madonna gave a free concert at Roseland Ballroom in New York City last night promote her new CD, and one of the highlights of the night is when she dry humped Justin Timberlake. Just like those sexy stories you read in AARP magazine!

Besides the fact that he's hitting this, punching Justin Timberlake in his vagina seems like a reasonable reaction in just about every possible scenario. Like last night, when he introduced Madonna at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony, where he threw a thinly-veiled insult at one of his famous ex-girlfriends. Us Magazine reports:

She has still found time to kiss someone I may or may not have publicly kissed myself while I was in the audience" Timberlake said. "Of course you know I was talking about Sean Penn."...Timberlake punctuated his remarks with, "The world has always been full of Madonna wannabes and I might have even dated a couple."

Man, that was hilarious. Almost as hilarious as the fact that Justin Timberlake's next album cover should be a picture of Justin kneeling in between Michael Jackson and Timbaland. And Michael Jackson and Timbaland should be unzipping their pants. You know, just to clear up any misunderstandings Justin's fans might have.


Justin Timberlake before he heard Thriller:

Madonna is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday night, but unlike every other living artist that has been awarded this honor, Madonna is refusing to perform. Fox News says:

Madonna is either too busy or too famous to perform at Monday night's New York dinner for Jann Wenner's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Wenner must have lost his touch. In the old days, he could make inductees do anything. Instead, sources say, the Kabbalah-loving, recently refreshed Material Mom will just show up, get toasted by Justin Timberlake and be serenaded by rock/punk legend Iggy Pop on some of her hits."

Ironically, Iggy Pop was in the band The Stooges, who released their first album in 1969 and are hailed as one of the first bands to issue in a new genre of music - a little something called "punk rock". Many consider Fun House and Raw Power to be two of the greatest albums of all time. They are not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. So, just so we're clear, the lead singer of one of the most influential punk bands of all time has to prance around stage singing songs about gay dances and pushing love over the borderline. Awesome. Maybe they can also dress him up in a kangaroo costume or drop a boulder on his head. You know, just to make sure he's fully covered on the embarrassment front.

Update: More on Madonna's Hall of Fame induction ceremony here.

A few of these are NSFW:


Update: Katie sent us Madonna's new single. It's called "4 minutes" and it features Justin Timberlake and is produced by Timbaland. Check it out here.

Guests at Ashton Kutcher's 30th birthday party at Socialista on February 7th, who included Demi Moore, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Salma Hayek, Kate Hudson and Bruce Willis, have been urged to get tested and vaccinated for hepatitis after an employee at the West Village nightspot was diagnosed with the disease. Page Six reports:

A Socialista bartender named Leif, who's now in the hospital, was diagnosed with a raging case of Hep A. We're told the Health Department yesterday visited the club that former Bungalow 8 doorman Armin Armiri opened last fall, but Armiri said, "We're not closed down, we're just concerned for our customers."

That's weird, because if they wanted me to get concerned, with the exception of Bruce Willis, they should've come up with a better list of names than this. Madonna and Lucy Liu might have hepatitis? Oh my, heavens no! Are they all right? Will they be okay? Will Lucy Liu's agent still be able to cast her as fourth alternate in the next Gwen Stefani video? Man, I sure do hope so!

Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Rumer Willis, and Salma Hayek last night:

Here's a fun, retro, topical post for you:

My, how things have changed...


Seriously, is Missy Elliott ever going to come out of the closet?



Update: Check out relatively unknown, redheaded and banged Lindsay Lohan behind Paris Hilton. Planning her attack. "Heh, heh, heh... One day I shall be sluttier than all of these sluts in front of me, you shall see. My minions shall refer to me as "Hohan," and I shall rule a slut empire."