Madonna Thinks Gay Bullying Is Like The Holocaust And Lynching Black People


Since gay bullying is the hot new media issue, Madonna made a satellite appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this morning and pandered to the people who gave her a career. And...and this actually came out of fucking her mouth. Us Magazine reports:
"I'm incredibly disturbed and saddened by the overwhelming number of teen suicides that have been reported lately because of bullying," she says. "Suicide in general is disturbing. Teenagers committing suicide is extremely disturbing, but to hear that teenagers are taking their lives because they are being bullied in schools and dormitories, what have you, is kind of unfathomable....We talk a lot about the importance of not judging people who are different -- not judging people who don't fit into our expected view of what's cool and what isn't," she says. "The concept that we are torturing teenagers because they are gay -- it's unfathomable. It's like lynching black people or Hitler exterminating Jews. Sorry if I'm going on a rampage right now, but this is America. The land of the free and the home of the brave...."

I realize Madonna has to pander to the gay community, but seriously? This isn't an epidemic, rather, like a friend of mine said, a statistical anomaly. So three gays kill themselves and now it's comparable to the fucking Holocaust and lynching? Are we seriously taking this shit there, right now? Tell you what, the next time a gay guy is separated from his family and led to an oven by his ascot or gets attacked by dogs and strung up in a tree with his cock in his mouth (yes, they did that to black men) get back to me, you fucking lunatic.

Note: In case you missed it, please read THIS. This woman is being praised as a wonderful mother and her son is now hailed as a gay hero. Her son is FIVE and just wanted to wear an orange wig for Halloween, but had the foresight at FIVE years old, to think, "Hey, maybe I shouldn't because I would make fun of a dude dressed like a girl." But since his mother apparently always wanted a gay son, she made him go to school dressed like Daphne from Scooby-Doo anyway. Guess what happened? It's okay to teach your children self-esteem and respect for others, but for God's sake don't purposefully throw him to the wolves to prove a point and expect nothing to happen. My heart seriously goes out to this kid. He's on the front line of a war that he doesn't even know is going on.

A-Rod Needs A Friend


Alex Rodriguez needs to pay somebody to remind him he's Alex Rodriguez, because he's now dating Cameron Diaz. New York Post reports:

Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz have had a series of secret dates following their flirtation at the Creative Artists Agency Super Bowl party in February. The couple secretly saw each other in Florida while A-Rod was at spring training, according to Life & Style. "A-Rod's with Cameron. They've been keeping it quiet, but they're totally together," a source told the weekly.

This dude is the highest paid player in MLB history and plays for one of the most storied franchises to have ever existed, and the best piece of celebrity ass he's had is Kate Hudson. A thirty-year old single mom. What the fuck is this guy doing? If I was Alex Rodriguez, my morning would start by tripping over Kelly Brook and Blake Lively on my way to the bathroom after I wake up on top of two 19-year old twins who are late for a meeting with Elite.

NOTE
: I need Desmond to be my constant to figure out the logic behind the email I just got calling me a hypocrite by comparing this post with the Elin one, so let me clear this up. When you're married, you fuck your wife. When you're not married, you fuck everyone else. I hope that helps.

Madonna Is The "Least Sexiest Of All Time"


Madonna looks like something that punched out of a grave in spandex and glitter, so it's no surprise that her video Hung Up was voted "Least Sexiest Music Video Of All Time" by the users of the music video website Muzu.tv.
Ten Least Sexy Music Videos
1. Madonna – Hung up
2. Lady Ga Ga - Poker Face
3. Spice Girls - Wannabe
4. Pink - Get the Party Started
5. Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up
6. Michael Jackson – You Are Not Alone
7. Take That – Do What You Like
8. Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
9. Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
10. David Hasslehoff – Jump In My Car

There's only four people on this list I would have sex with and one of them might be the other dude in Wham!, so I probably couldn't come up with a worst list if I tried. Madonna wasn't hot when she was supposed to be hot, so 30 years later it's safe to assume I'd rather stick my dick in a vat at Acme Chemicals than in this hag. Madonna is probably going to sacrifice a small Malaysian child for this, because she truly believes she's some kind of timeless beauty. It's gonna be hard to accept. Like the time I got fired from The Superficial for being "too vulgar". Too vulgar?! Me? Well sir, I never!

Really?


Lady Gaga was the musical guest on SNL this weekend and in some sort of gay version of Luke Skywalker meeting Captain Kirk, Madonna showed up in a skit with her. It's SNL, so you can already assume it's less funny than a paralyzed homeless kid with cancer, but what you're not expecting is that they wanted you to believe that this was somehow sexy. I really can't speak for your penis, but as for mine, a Jersey shemale and a 50-year old hag who looks like that guy in the attic in Hellraiser isn't really his thing.

Madonna Is A Great Mom


I...I...fuck it.
The Daily Mail
reports:
Trussed up in white wedding dress and veil, Madonna's daughter Lourdes recreates her mother's famous wedding dress pose in the Eighties hit song Like A Virgin. The 12-year-old wears lashings of red lipstick and has the iconic beauty spot painted above her lip.

In case you missed that, Lourdes is FUCKING TWELVE and got tarted up like her mom was when she sang that song about getting banged by a dude with a huge dong that made her think she was a virgin again. Maybe for Field Day she can dress like Lara Croft or come to school in hot pants and roller skates and sucking on an oversized lollipop. You know, to fully drive the point home that Madonna is a psycho.

(btw, if you're thinking about getting Lourdes a Christmas gift, Madonna probably wouldn't mind you helping her scratching this off her list)

Lourdes with her mom on tour. Because really, who needs school or friends?

Madonna Is A Natural Beauty


This picture of Madonna ran in the The Daily Mail last night, and I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about making her a mixtape. I might even draw hearts and spray cologne on it. Because, let's face it, I'm in love.

Madonna Can't Be Bothered


Hey, remember that time Madonna cried on stage after two people got killed and eight people were placed in critical condition when a rigging collapsed while they were constructing Madonna's set then she went to the hospital to visit them and said she would do anything to help? Yeah, apparently that doesn't involve cooperating with the authorities. The Sun reports:
MADONNA has refused to co-operate with officials probing a stadium collapse tragedy, it was claimed last night. Two technicians, including a Brit, died last week when a temporary roof at the home ground of Marseilles FC, France, fell on 50 workers before one of her gigs. A French newspaper said Madonna, 50, had "declined" to be interviewed by investigators. Magistrates say she is an important witness as she has a £60million contract with Live Nation, which was organising the concert.

Well, of course Madonna wouldn't condescend to talk to the police after her show killed two people and critically injured eight more. Why should she? She's Madonna. Besides, it would be difficult to go into a police station on the thing Xerses rode on surrounded by twenty Malaysian boys in mascara and bejeweled thongs feeding her grapes as the six Bengal tigers with diamonds on their claws lie at her feet as she shouts orders to sacrifice another virgin. "Get her you insolent fools!", Madonna would say, "Bring her to me so I may taste her blood on thine lips!" You know, or something like that.

Madonna Is A Murderer



Two men were killed and eight other were injured (one is in critical condition) after a stage collapsed and lighting rig fell on workers constructing the set for Madonna's concert at Velodrome stadium in the French city of Marseille. Daily Mail reports:
Madonna, currently on the Italian leg of her Sticky and Sweet tour, told an audience at the Fruili Stadium, in Udine, northern Italy, that she was 'devastated'. She added: 'I ask you for a moment to stop and think of the people who have lost their lives, we need to appreciate life, the people we love and our families.' At least eight others were injured in the collapse, including an American who is critical. Four had multiple injuries, including fractures, and three were lightly injured by falling rubble. Some 39 others were suffering from shock and needed treatment for trauma. The dead men are believed to have been hit by lighting due to be suspended above the temporary stage. Police have already launched a criminal inquiry into the accident. Jascques Dallest, the Marseille Prosecutor, confirmed that charges could include those of manslaughter and involuntary injuries. A source close to the investigation said one of four cranes being used to put the roof in place 'appeared to be faulty'. Madonna, 50, was due to perform to a sell-out crowd in Marseille on Sunday. The concert has been cancelled.

I'm sure the families of these victims are honored that Madonna took two minutes out of her show to acknowledge their deaths. I'm sure it makes them feel better. Because knowing someone you loved died so Madonna could put on a strap on and pretend to have anal sex with a black transvestite in a gold thong and a horse mask isn't it's own reward.

Here's Madonna crying on stage. Also included, mindless Madonna fans applauding and cheering at the sad news: