Maria Menounos has been in a bikini for the past two months, so what better way for someone to make her pay for losing a bet that the Patriots lost by wearing a New York Giants bikini. I still really have no idea what Maria Menounos does exactly, but I know she doesn't write songs about guys breaking up with her and how better off she'll be like Kelly Clarkson and Adele. But she does look fantastic in a bikini. Hmmm, if there was just some way to find the correlation between those last two sentences. I guess that will just forever remain a mystery, my friends.

Seen above being possessed by Satan because she's a heathen with a weak mental fortitude ill-prepared for the Devil's tricks, Maria Menounous' vagina was reportedly roaming Indianapolis like a roaring lion this weekend seeking to devour Tim Tebow's holy pro-life penis. Page Six reports:

Tim Tebow was the center of attention for all the women at ESPN the Magazine’s Next party in Indianapolis on Friday night. Hordes of cocktail-dress-clad ladies surrounded the Denver Bronco quarterback, angling for a personal kneeling session. But it was “Extra” host Maria Menounos who seemed to command his attention. While Tebow politely chatted with many of the girls, one source told us that “he only seemed to have eyes” for brunette beauty Menounos, who was spotted “chatting to Tebow for over an hour. It looked quite flirtatious. They were taking pictures Tebowing together.” The two, along with a big group of friends, were the last to leave well after 2 a.m.

Man, that seems pretty sexy. They left "well after 2 a.m."? So that means they finished reading scripture and making the s'mores at like what? 5?

Maria Menounos is still in Miami, so that means she has more than one bikini. Because after living there for 8 months once, I know that's all women wear in Miami. They also date club promoters and more than likely have a family member who is a Cuban refugee who might have just stabbed somebody while I was typing this. Maria Menounos isn't Cuban, she's Greek, so she probably couldn't afford Maldives because weekly whole body laser hair removal treatments cost money. She does have a great ass though, and I just ordered a lamb gyro with extra cucumber sauce, so I feel like we'd have a lot to talk about. Hey, Maria. Call me.

The Kentucky Derby is a horse race and an excuse for non-British rich people and D-listers to wear weird hats. Seriously, when Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't show and your most famous names are some guy who upgraded from a fat chick, a confused Bride of Chucky star searching for Colonel Sanders, and a reality divorcee whose vagina probably looks like a blown tire at a monster truck rally, it's time to give up.


Marisa Miller was also at the Barnstable preparty:



All images via WENN.

Maria Menounos is a former Miss Massachusetts and she once worked at one of the seventy million Dunkin' Donuts in Boston, so obviously she's a Boston Celtics fan. Like she was here at Game 6. I guess that's why she looks so filled with joy and life, because if people in Boston are anything, they are friendly and not at all pale. She's also apparently dating the comedian whose head appears on pro-cesarean section literature. I can't tell if these pictures have anything to do with that.

Note: Spellcheck recommends "menopausal" for "Menounos". Interesting.