Last week, it was announced that Shania Twain, 42, and her producer husband, Mutt Lange, 59, had split after 14 years of marriage. In an exclusive on Friday, Lange told People that this split occurred because the couple grew apart. He forgot to mention he was banging his secretary. People reports:

What caused the sudden breakup of Shania Twain and her husband, music producer Robert "Mutt" Lange, after 14 years of marriage?...sources close to the situation say a third party was involved: Marie Ann Thiebaud, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple's chateau in Switzerland. "Mutt and Marie Ann left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship," says one source...An insider says the "You're Still the One" singer is "devastated. This came out of left field...She loved him."

Unless this Marie Ann Thiebaud chick was created in a lab using the DNA of the entire Dallas Cowboys cheerleader squad, I think Mutt Lange and I will agree that this probably wasn't the greatest idea in the world.

Being married to Mariah Carey seems fun. Page Six says:

Mariah Carey's new husband was trying to have a boys' weekend at Saturday's opening of the MGM Grand at Foxwoods with pals Sean Combs and Quincy Jones when he got a call from Carey. "He was summoned home by her at 1 in the morning," a source said. "He didn't look happy about it." A rep for Carey didn't return calls.

When you Google "Nick Cannon" the first image that comes up is of Mariah Carey, so that's pretty much tells you all you need to know about this relationship. To save himself some trouble, Nick Cannon should shrink himself and just get inside Mariah's purse. When asked for comment, Mariah said, "Whutisssshhhhhhh!"

Some old pics of Mariah Carey in a see-through dress because they were in our inbox. Thanks Jake!

There are rumors that this whole thing might be an elaborate hoax, but until that comes out, Nick Cannon's family has confirmed that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were secretly married at Carey's home in the Bahamas earlier this week. Boy, they sound really excited. Us Magazine says:

Family member Linda Cannon told E! that Nick called her with the good news. "Yes, we know. He called us and told us all about it," she said. "We are happy for him. If that is what he wants, then we are happy for him." She added, "I'm not going to give you any details, but we are happy for him."

Friends of Carey are also confirming the marriage, oh yeah, and the fact that there was no prenup. Yikes. The New York Post reports:

Everyone is happy to see her happy," Carey's friend told The Post. "And it could work out - some people know each other for five years and get divorced. Maybe this is true, instant love." Not everyone is so over the moon. "There was no prenup - there wasn't time," said another worried source."

I couldn't recognize Nick Cannon if he was standing next to a Nick Cannon poster, but I guess I should congratulate him for snagging a hot multi-millionaire piece of ass like Mariah Carey. Now that he has found love, maybe I should get in touch with him to learn his secret. I'm ready to open my heart, but my mother says I shouldn't. She says it's because I am such a handsome boy and no girl will ever love me like she does.


Photos: Splash

Mariah Carey, 38, and Nick Cannon, 27, were reportedly secretly married in a small ceremony yesterday. Friends for years, Carey and Cannon starting dating March. Latina.com says:

Cannon and Mariah Carey are married! The couple wed yesterday in a small ceremony on an island and it was "very implusive," according to our source. The wedding was attended by a few close friends of the couple, including Da Brat."

However, the bigger story today is that Nick Cannon used to be engaged to Victoria's Secret model, Selita Ebanks. He gave her a ring. She gave it back. He gave it to Mariah Carey. TMZ says:

Has Nick Cannon taken recycling to a new level by giving Mariah Carey his ex's old engagement ring? He's gone green -- and crazy! With reports that Nick and Mariah are engaged, Mimi has been sportin' a rock (left) that looks pretty similar to his ex-fiancee Selita Ebanks' ring (right). It's like that?! If it is the same ring, expect there to be another emancipation of Mimi! A rep for Cannon's ex tells TMZ Selita did return the white diamond ring to Nick and wishes the couple well."

So, here are some pictures of this ring. Unless it was cloned, I'm gonna take a wild stab and say it's the same one. Mariah Carey will probably find this romantic and charming. She's known the world over for her simple demands and humble lifestyle. There shouldn't be any problems at all. No sir, no way.



Photos: Splash

Like most lead singles, Touch My Body, Mariah Carey's first single off her new album, E=MC2, was released prior to the album's official launch date of April 15th, but several more tracks have been suspiciously leaked online. Why, who hatched this diabolical scheme? Ashlee Simpson, of course. KBS Radio says:

Industry insiders believe Ashlee Simpson's camp may be responsible for leaking songs off Mariah Carey's new album in hopes of it creating less competition for the 23-year-old, whose album drops a week after the record-setting "diva." A source told MSNBC, "Joe Simpson has every right to be nervous about Ashlee going up against Mariah. They are backed into a corner with this release date since they already changed it once. Their only option in fighting the Mariah machine would be to create a way to make the album's release less newsworthy."...Simpson's Bittersweet World was originally set to be released in late 2007, but at the last minute was pushed back to April 22, 2008."

Ashlee Simpson's album must be coming out in some sort of magical realm of fairies and dragons, because I'm pretty sure that on Earth, Ashlee Simpson's autotuned empty-calorie snack isn't much competition for Mariah Carey. It'd be like a regular shark fighting a mutant genetically engineered shark. Sure, they're technically both sharks, but it will become painfully obvious pretty fast that one of them might have somewhat of a disadvantage.

Pete Wentz, in shoes, is 5'1".

Mariah Carey launched boobs her new perfume, "M by Mariah Carey" boobs, at Macy's yesterday. It was boobs an engaging affair boobs with Mariah telling the audience about the captivating power boobs of the seductive scent. Sheer amber infused boobs with spicy Moroccan incense boobs and a hint of seabreeze wrapped in boobs in the aura of wet Gardenia petals that embodies sensuality, beauty, boobs, and glamour.

It's been a while since Mariah Carey's crazy and inflated sense of self-worth has popped up , so imagine the luck of the ladies who happened to be in the bathroom at VH1's Music Cares event. New York Daily News reports:

Mariah Carey, drinking deeply at VH1's Music Cares event, invaded the ladies' room with two burly bodyguards. Two women already there say her security tried to evict them, but they refused to leave. Says one: "One of the bodyguards said to us, 'If you're going to stay, you better not watch Mariah pee.'"

Oh yeah, baby! Of course I'm gonna watch, because that's why I'm here, dude. I bought these tickets to a VH1 event at the off chance Mariah Carey would be there and drink too much and have to pee at the exact same time I was in the bathroom. My plan was flawless!

Limp Wood (Mr. Woodcock) [Pajiba]
Kid Rock tells his side of the story [Hollywood Rag]
Britney Spears is baby carrier retarded [City Rag]
Fred Durst got arrested [Dlisted]
Ashlee Simpson's boyfriend is still gay [Popsugar]
Elizabeth Hurley still has a rack [Hollywood Tuna]
Joaquin Phoenix is a hot mess [Just Jared]
Gwen Stefani sues Forever 21 [ASL]
Mini Britney [College Humor]
Rachel McAdams should go back to blonde [Popoholic]
Jessica Simpson still tries too hard [Egotastic]
Thandie Newton's butt crack (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Christina Aguilera's pregnancy tits (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
A sexy moment with Jennifer Ellison [Horny Oyster]

Mariah Carey @ the Jury Duty Postage Stamp Dedication in NYC: