Marion Cotillard showed up at the European premiere of Public Enemies last night, and although she tried, she really couldn't seem to pour her tits out onto the red carpet. I wouldn't be scared if she tried this on my carpet, because of an infused chemical treatment before the actual tufting or weaving process began, my carpet is stain free! Meaning, when dirt or liquids are introduced to the surface, I'm worry free! My life is so exciting!

If you want to see what is would look like if they actually fell out, you can quench your curiosity here (NSFW)

Here are the first shots of Michael Mann's new project, Public Enemies, a film about the F.B.I's war against notorious American gangsters John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd. It stars Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Channing Tatum, and Marion Cotillard. Man, I didn't realize criminals were so sexy back then. I bet all the ladies in the bank were excited when it was bank robbery day. It was like their Grey's Anatomy.

Marion Cotillard, who won this year's Best Actress Oscar for something in French, was quoted in a 2007 interview saying that the Twin Towers were destroyed on 9/11 by the American government and that the American moon landing was fake. Stupid:

I think we're lied to about a number of things," she said, singling out September 11. Referring to the two passenger jets flown into the World Trade Centre, Miss Cotillard said: "We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes, are they burned? There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burned for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [New York], in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed." Miss Cotillard suggested that the towers, planned in the early 1960s, were an outdated "money sucker" which would have cost so much to modernise that it was easier to destroy them."

She moves on to the American moon landing:

Did a man really walk on the moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it, and I really wondered. And in any case I don't believe all they tell me, that's for sure."

Jesus, is there some kind of pill they make you take in acting class that turns you into a complete moron? I don't know about your tower in Spain sweetie, but the next time it catches on fire, douse it with 10,000 gallons of jet fuel then get back to me. I mean, that is if you have time. I imagine the world can't wait to hear your thoughts on how Bigfoot killed JFK or how AIDS was invented to put an end to Welfare.


Apologetic update: Cotillard's lawyer released the following statement: "Marion never intended to contest nor question the attacks of September 11, 2001, and regrets the way old remarks have been taken out of context." Ah, I see. I'd love to hear her say why 9/11 was an inside job in its proper context.

Here's the teeth-clenchingly annoying 29 year old, Katherine Heigl, looking like the 45 year old chain smoker she is. She smokes American Spirit, the only 100% organic tobacco cigarette, because I guess she thinks that inhaling natural smoke is better than other smoke. Here's a hint: It's smoke. I'm sure when the fireman tells you to crawl on your stomach it isn't because of the additives.


Diablo Cody was hours away from winning the award for "Best Achievement in Pretentious Crap", but it looks like she had the foresight to dress the part. My neighborhood could be under nuclear attack and I could still manage to pick out an outfit better than this.


Can't we just all agree that Daniel Day-Lewis should win an Oscar every time he makes a movie? Instead of showing pictures of the other nominees for Best Actor in those little squares, they should have shown sock puppets. It would have basically been the same thing (no offense Johnny).


Perhaps the greatest mystery of the night was why Jessica Alba was invited to the Oscars. That's like inviting a turtle to a dog show. Look, we're glad you could make it and all, but please know that you will never go home with anything other than unrealistic expectations or a script that calls for your t-shirt to get wet on page 4.


Marion Cotillard is cute and likes to get naked on camera, so that automatically qualifies her for any acting award. This a little known fact about acting, but perky boobs can really bring out the emotional depth of a female character. *cough* Jessica Biel *cough*


Update: By request, some nude screencaps of Marion's work. (Click thumbnails for larger NSFW images.)



I know looking like a dude is Tilda Swinton's thing, but would it kill her to pretend she has a vagina once in a while? Way to glam it up for the big night. I'm surprised her acceptance speech didn't start with, "Attention people of Earth!"

The biggest excuse for Hollywood to suck itself off celebrated its 80th anniversary last night, and with the exception of Tilda Swinton, the winners went pretty much as expected. And as usual, they were mostly wrong. There Will Be Blood got robbed and if I was a 15 year old girl, I'd feel pretty good about my chances at winning a screenwriting Oscar next year. "That ain't no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet." Really? That's a line from an Oscar-winning screenplay? If I heard someone talk like that in real life, my only recourse would be an uppercut. And they would deserve it.

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, Juno
Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men
Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men