Angelina Jolie causes erection outbreak in Haiti [Popeater]
Emily Blunt has the right idea [Popeater]
Bar Refaeli > BrooklyN Decker [Popoholic]
Alicia Keys has a big ass. Not in a good way. [TaxiDriver Movie]
I Love Love Magazine [Egotastic]
Remembering the Lingerie Bowl [COED Magazine]
Kate Moss hated Mark Wahlberg [Cele|bitchy]
Jersey Shore grandma [Cityrag]
Back to the Future sex scenes [College Humor]
Jenny McCarthy is still hot [Heyman Hustle]

My wife Megan Fox in her Super Bowl commercial. I'm not even joking when I say I would make her vagina look like Stargate:

The Internet is a magical land of wonder where you can illegally download music, have someone killed, or order a Chinese baby, but we really shouldn't forget why the Internet was truly invented - porn and so some 14-year old kid could screencap dimly lit movie scenes from Jennifer's Body where Megan Fox is laying on a bed with her legs spread so you can possibly, maybe see her lips. And isn't this what life is all about, friends? Why, yes. Yes it is.

NOTE: Ok, you caught me. I've never seen a vagina. Anybody want to help me out?

Megan Fox topless in Jennifer's Body:

The second set of images of Megan Fox's new film, Passion Play, hit online this weekend, and as you can probably tell, it's my penis' must see film of 2010. Megan plays a circus freak with wings who apparently stands in a glass box topless at one point. If it has a big opening weekend, it might make $100, so hopefully Megan will be more receptive to my calls to read for my new horror script, Anal Reapers. Will the restless, malevolent forces at an abandon hotel stop their quest for souls long enough for Megan Fox to have 5 or 6 artistically shot scenes of anal sex? Will their insatiable thirst for blood ever be quenched?!

In October it was announced that Megan Fox would be replacing Victoria Beckham as the face of Emporio Armani, and here are the pics of the new ad campaign. Most of them are low-res, but I promise the citizens of IDLYITW that I will not rest until the hi-res versions of these are found. Because I say with the greatest of confidence, that Megan Fox could be fused to airplane wreckage and half-eaten by a shark and I would still need those condoms that numb your penis.

CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC TO RESTRICT PROPER BLOOD FLOW

According to TMZ, licking your lips and humping a motorcycle in a movie about giant robots apparently pays well.

Megan Fox recently bought a brand new house for just under $3 million. The gorgeous wannabe actress' new Los Feliz 4 bdrm/5 bath estate is over 4000 square feet and features a gourmet kitchen, media/pool table room, several terraces with city views and a swimming pool.

Man, this sure is a nice house, but where is the moat and the dragon? I really hope her lawyer didn't think a restraining order was gonna work. A restraining order can't even breathe fire.



Megan almost naked in Jennifer's Body. The film recently ranked #2 in AFI's non-existent list, "Top Films To Masturbate To". Congratulations!

Megan Fox has been in hiding lately, so I've not been able to post anything about her. Lucky you. I mean, I think she's been in hiding. Based on these pictures of her mouth taken yesterday, she's either been at home or just released from a beehive.

I know I just professed my love for Ashley Greene, but that was before I saw my beloved's New York Times outtakes. I'm sorry, Ashley. It's not you, baby. It's me. Actually, it's my penis. You see that banner pic, right? Just because I would split her like an atom in front of a church youth group doesn't mean we can't be friends.

In an interview with the New York Times yesterday, Megan Fox had to talk. I wonder what happened?!

“Women tear each other apart,” she told me now. “Girls think I’m a slut, and I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you’re attractive, you’re either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.” Fox says she believes that Hollywood reinforces these stereotypes and prejudices. She seems to think that her constant references to sex are a kind of feminist stance, that while she may seem like a headline-seeking provocateur, she is simply navigating a complex and chauvinistic world. “If I had been a typical starlet and said all the right things, I wouldn’t have escalated to this level,” Fox explained. “I sit down and do an interview and I talk like a person and that, for some reason, is shocking. All women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. You’re sold, and it’s based on sex. That’s O.K., if you know how to use it.” Fox paused. “It’s been a crazy year. I’ve learned that being a celebrity is like being a sacrificial lamb. At some point, no matter how high the pedestal that they put you on, they’re going to tear you down. And I created a character as an offering for the sacrifice. I’m not willing to give my true self up. It’s a testament to my real personality that I would go so far as to make up another personality to give to the world. The reality is, I’m hidden amongst all the insanity. Nobody can find me.”

As much as I want to stick a shoe horn in her ass, I really wish Megan Fox would shut up. It's not really turning me on. Wait, who am I kidding? This interview could have been her talking about magic beans and her Little Pony collection and I'd still need some baby wipes.