I really, and I mean really, need a Mel Gibson soundboard. Us Magazine reports:

Back in the 90s, Winona Ryder was a huge star -- who had a very unpleasant run-in with another huge star, Mel Gibson, at least a decade before he became notorious for making racist, offensive remarks on record. "I remember, like, fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And [Gibson] was really drunk," Ryder, 39, tells the January GQ of the controversial actor, 54. "I was with my friend, who's gay. [Gibson] made a really horrible gay joke. And somehow it came up that I was Jewish. He said something about 'oven dodgers,' but I didn't get it," Ryder admits of the slur, an ugly reference to the Holocaust. "I'd never heard that before. It was just this weird, weird moment. I was like, 'He's anti-Semitic and he's homophobic.' No one believed me!"

Mel Gibson is a racist, unhinged lunatic filled with seething hatred and rage, but goddamn if he can't tell a joke. I wish I could take him to a homeless shelter of Russian women and gay Jews and this site would write itself for a year.

Oksana Grigorieva is a victim of domestic violence, so she understands that the safety of her and her daughter knows no price. Except not. TMZ reports:

Oksana Grigorieva wanted to disavow her $15 million settlement with Mel Gibson because she felt Mel would pay a lot more to avoid the bad publicity ... this, according to an email obtained by TMZ.

The email -- sent on June 2, 2010 from Oksana to Eric George, the lawyer who negotiated her $15 million mediation package -- is riddled with buyer's remorse, complaining that George never told her about a domestic violence claim, which could have upped the ante.

Underscoring how important the tapes were during the mediation, Oksana says, "Forget about the tapes for the moment. This is the case of domestic violence." The point -- no one raised the issue of domestic violence during the mediation -- it was about the tapes.

Oksana explains to George her relationship with Mel ended "because of Mels (sic) domestic violence, the only reason and the fact, with proof, and I run away to save my children."

I would go into detail on just how fucked up this all is, but it was my birthday last night and I'm still recovering, so I'll just say this: If Oksana really wants a lucrative case, Chris Brown is single. Hopefully this time he can finish the job.

To make up for having trollish unfit mothers as the banner photos twice in a row, here's Kate Beckinsale in a bikini. Because she seems like a good mom, especially in photo 6.

During his ongoing court battle with estranged ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson has remained quiet and is content with allowing his lawyers to do their job. On the other hand, Oksana Grigorieva talks to anyone and everyone, while accusing her lawyers and court officials of leaking her secret recordings and sealed documents to the media. Secret recordings and sealed documents, that of course, portray Mel Gibson as a violent monster and her as a battered saint above reproach. However, during this time, in which Mel Gibson should be seen as an unhinged lunatic and wife beater (and rightfully so), Oksana Grigorieva is now the one being scrutinized and seen as a manipulative gold digger out to destroy Mel Gibson at every turn. She has blown her load with the voicemails, recordings, and documents, and now has nothing left to throw at Mel Gibson. Man, that's too bad. TMZ reports:

According to the documents, in addition to attempting to take custody away from Oksana Grigorieva, Mel's lawyers will ask Judge Scott Gordon to award her visitation, but only with a monitor. And Mel's lawyers want the judge to deny Oksana any overnight visits with the baby. Mel's lawyers argue in the documents that Oksana's false and derogatory statements to the media about Mel and the attempt to sully his character show she is not acting in the best interests of Lucia. Oksana trashed Mel last night on "Larry King Live." As TMZ first reported, Judge Gordon has warned Oksana she could lose custody if she talked to the media.

To recap, a judge clearly told Oksana Grigorieva that she could lose custody if she continued to speak with the media, so she went on Larry King Live last night and did more of the same. You could make a drinking game out of how many times she says "domestic violence" in this video, but when she attempted to be a spokesperson for Peace Over Violence, a Los Angeles battered women's group, they basically told her to fuck off. So five years from now, Mel Gibson will still be starring in movies and getting paid, and Oksana Grigorieva will be known as the crazy bitch whose plan backfired because she couldn't keep her mouth shut long enough for things to play out. Let this be a practical example for crazy bitches everywhere. Whether it be on Larry King or Twitter. Also a practical example? Sophie Turner's ass. That StairMaster isn't gonna climb itself, you know.

On January 6, Oksana Grigorieva and Mel Gibson had an "explosive argument" in which Gibson allegedly punched her and fractured teeth. Instead of calling the police, she went to the dentist. TMZ reports:

TMZ has obtained the declaration of the dentist who treated Oksana Grigorieva the day after her blow-out fight with Mel Gibson, along with never-before-seen pictures the dentist took of her teeth. According to Dr. Ross Shelden's declaration, Oksana showed up at his office at 9 AM on January 7, 2010. Dr. Shelden claims he observed two "fractured front teeth, minor abrasions on her face and bruising to the left temple area of her face." Dr. Shelden says, "[Oksana] broke down and admitted to me that she was hit the night before in Malibu," and then reluctantly admitted Mel was the culprit, saying, "...she was extremely nervous about this information getting out to the public."

But why does she look so happy in these pictures you may ask? I think maybe she was listening to a bank commercial when this picture was taken. Cha-ching!

As TMZ first reported, Dr. Shelden has changed his story several times. Dr.Shelden has said Oksana's veneers were damaged but her teeth were not fractured -- and TMZ has confirmed that to be the case. Dr. Shelden has also said Oksana was not punched in the mouth. Notice in the pictures there is no evidence of bruising. [Ed.'s note: You know, like THIS] As we reported, Dr. Shelden claims Oksana hid the bruising with her hair and makeup. According to the declaration, Dr. Shelden told Oksana she needed to protect herself. He did not, however, report the alleged attack to authorities, as he was required to do by law.

Look, it's obvious to everyone at this point that Mel Gibson is raving drunk lunatic, but if you believe that Oksana isn't clearly motivated by money, then I really don't know what to tell you. If any woman hires 42 lawyers (she literally has), wants $40K a month for a newborn (even the judge thought that was too much), pretends to get her teeth knocked out, and secretly records and documents everything you say so it can be used against you later, is clearly insane and might have an agenda. Just sayin'. Also, I enjoy Steak and Egg bagels. Not really sure what that has to do with this story, but I'm pretty my mouth just ejaculated.

Because Oksana Grigorieva is a hoarder clearly capable of saving everything except the mental health of her daughter with anti-Semite misogynist Mel Gibson, of course she gave love letters he wrote her to court, and of course TMZ obtained them:

Oksana saved dozens of love notes from Mel throughout their relationship -- chock full of passion, cheesiness, obsession -- and a warning about what could trigger him to become "irrational."

Here are some of the highlights:

-- "This is your capitalist pig landing his jet in Minnesota 4 customs! I have scarcely thought of anything but u since I left London! That is wonderful + sad because you are not near me! I need my little Russian to fill my soul."

-- "If u r up call me my dark eyed beautiful little communist! I miss u + by God, I love you"

It's early as shit and I may or may not be slightly hung over, so all I got from this is that if the Soviets gave Americans more head, the Cold and Vietnam Wars could have been averted. I'm glad history played out the way it did, though. I wouldn't want to live in a world without Black Ops.

Since Dude Where's My Car 2? What Happens In Vegas The Hangover was supposed to be funny, they decided to make The Hangover 2. And Mel Gibson was set to have a cameo. That is until Zach Galifianakis whined like a little bitch. New York Post reports:

Mel Gibson is furious at producers of "The Hangover Part II" for booting him from the flick, sources say. Gibson's minor role as a Bangkok tattoo artist was seen as a comeback for his tattered career, but producers were quick to cut him loose when cast members objected to working with him. A source close to Gibson told us, "He doesn't understand why Mike Tyson, a drug user who turned his life around, was given a chance while Mel was kicked to the curb. Everybody deserves a second chance." Alan Nierob, who represents Gibson and Liam Neeson, issued a statement hinting at resentment over the firing. Nierob said Neeson will replace Gibson in the part, "pending clearance of cast and crew background check," he quipped.

I can see why Hollywood producers would cut Mel Gibson. Mike Tyson is wife beater and a convicted rapist, but in his defense, he's never picked on Jewish people.

It's really no secret that Mel Gibson is an unhinged lunatic who should have Lexapro feeding tube, so it's pretty easy to believe his reasons for why he is the way he is. My aunt has the same problem. TMZ reports:

Mel Gibson wrote a frantic, rambling letter to Oksana Grigorieva a year before their infamous, January blowout -- in which he describes feeling so out of control that he "could drink or commit a crime." TMZ has obtained a copy of the letter -- handwritten by Mel -- and in it he says, "I'm so ragged I could drink or commit a crime. The anger seems to be out of my control -- I need to do something about it something lasting -- not just a band aid." In the undated letter -- which sources connected to the case tell TMZ was written in December 2008 -- he says, "I don't know why I'm so whacky and depressed but I need to get well and re-enter life. Please don't be upset I've gone -- I'm just not myself and feel bad when I am so f**ked up and sick around you." Mel goes on: "I don't want to inflict this unhealthy version of myself on you." Mel theorizes, "Maybe it's some kind of male menopause -- or Brian's s**t." We're told Brian is Mel's holistic doctor. In the letter, Mel repeatedly tells Oksana, "I love you" and says, "...this isn't who I was meant to be -- I know it! I'm scared I can't get back."

You can read the letter here, but please understand that it's rambling nonsense written by some drunk dude with a God complex. Much like Paul's letter to the Ephesians.

Oksana? Greedy? Don't be ridiculous. TMZ reports:

Oksana Grigorieva is asking the judge to make Mel Gibson buck up -- WAAY up -- by increasing her monthly child support from $5,000 a month to more than $40,000. As we've reported, Mel currently pays Oksana the tidy sum of $5,000 a month in child support for baby Lucia, and also pays for the Sherman Oaks house where they live. But we're told Oksana now wants nearly 10 times what she currently gets. Here's what's interesting. Our sources say Oksana gets $2,500 a month in child support from Timothy Dalton -- the father of her 13-year-old son Alexander. It's a tough sell convincing Judge Scott Gordon that a 9-month-old baby needs nearly 20 times more money than a 13-year-old boy. One source scoffed, "Lifestyle is not an issue for a 9-month-old. Think she knows the difference between a Ford and a Bentley?"

Jesus, does it really take $40,000 a month to raise a fucking 9-month old? She could put newspaper at the bottom of a cardboard box and throw in Vanilla Wafers a few times a day, and it'll live better than a 20-year old in Haiti. What's in this baby's formula, Cristal? What the hell is in her Easy Mac, bald eagle eggs? And the baby isn't even all the way white. You can't even sell it for $40K. She'd be lucky to get a pack of silly bandz and a bottle of sweet and sour mix.