It's black. It's white. It's also apparently yellow. Shamon. You know it. New York Post reports:

Michael Jackson not only slept with a baby doll -- he also regularly "peed the bed," Conrad Murray alleges in the documentary "Michael Jackson and the Doctor: A Fatal Friendship." In the documentary, Murray reveals Jackson regularly “peed the bed.” “The bedroom that he slept in I had to persuade him, eventually to have it cleaned,” Murray said in the film. “He peed the bed. It did not smell good. It was mildew, and I had to get it clean." Murray said Jackson urinating in the bed may have had to do with psychological issues saying, "Who would ever believe that a man his age would still be wetting his bed?" In the doc, Murray also claims that Jackson referred to propofol, the anesthesia believed to have killed him, as "milk."

I really can't speak for anyone else, but I'm pretty sure Kim Kardashian just came.

I'm asking him to stop raping kids......

Dr. Conrad Murray's manslaughter trial is still going on, because apparently the people of California want to know how Michael Jackson died. I know. Me too. Because how could an anesthetized zombie and drug addict with parts missing from his face be taken from us so suddenly without warning? It's a mystery. It's obvious someone killed him. Anyway, here's the King of Popsicles For Little Boys dead and naked on a gurney. That seems like it would be the perfect time to challenge him to a dance off.

Cardiff, Wales hosted a concert to pay tribute to all the children lives touched by Michael Jackson. Christina Aguilera performed and looked like this. I'd comment further, but Blanket's face pretty much covers it.

The People of the State of California v. Conrad Robert Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician's manslaughter trial, started yesterday, and the bottom banner picture was the first picture in the prosecution's opening slide show. The top banner picture is the actual photo. So, to recap, they want the jury to think that a doctor drugged a raging child molester with alprazolam, sertraline, omeprazole, hydrocodone, paroxetine, carisoprodol, and hydromorphone until he became an impotent zombie who died by a violent cardiac arrest. I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think they thought this through. It might not be a good sign when a jury cheers and waves giant foam hands that say "Conrad Murray is #1!" on them.

Good to know. TMZ reports:

Aaron Carter's rep claims the singer NEVER told an entertainment reporter Michael Jackson gave him cocaine and alcohol when he was 15 years old ... and says the reporter COMPLETELY FABRICATED the story. The controversy stems from an article that ran in OK! Magazine in Australia, written by international journalist Daphne Barak. In the article, Carter was quoted as saying, "Yes, [MJ] gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15. As for drugs? He gave me cocaine." But Carter's rep tells TMZ, "Nothing was said that was reported" ... and directed us toward a YouTube video of the interview with Barak ... which seems to back up Aaron's side of the story.

Of course Michael Jackson didn't give Aaron Carter cocaine. Based on that face, it's obvious that MJ gave him meth and probably a wet willy. Except, you know, with his penis.

The accepted racist BET Awards were last night, and of course they had to do a Michael Jackson tribute. He was a drug-addicted pedophile who thankfully died of his own excesses and inabilities to face reality, and sure, his music was okay, but to reiterate, he fondled little boys. Repeatedly. Giving a standing ovation to this freak is like giving a standing ovation to Leatherface because he made good barbecue. Anyway, my point is, Chris Brown did the tribute. Chris Brown. The guy who did this. Then said this. He also jumped at the chance to make last night all about when he conveniently cried like a bitch during Man In The Mirror. So, in conclusion, a violent woman beater paid tribute to a creepy child molester. Good, times. The only ovation that should have happened is when the molotov cocktails landed on stage.

In his quest to become a white woman and have sex with as many little boys as he could, Michael Jackson went through great pains to look human. Sorta like Darkman and that dude in the attic in Hellraiser. Star says:

The autopsy shows Michael did suffer from vitiligo, a skin pigment disorder, and that he weighed 136 lbs. at the time of his death. MJ's hair was "was sparse" and connected to a wig. The front part of his head had a "dark skin discoloration resembling a tattoo" to cover a receeding hairline. His natural hair along the temporal regions was short and curly, while his wig was long and straight. The 50-year-old star also had his eyeliner, lips and eyebrows permanently tattooed. A bandage covered the tip of Michael's nose.

Nope, you're wrong. It gets way fucking weirder. TMZ reports:

Among the items found in the bedroom where Dr. Conrad Murray was treating Michael Jackson -- "a closed bottle of urine atop a chair." Back in November, we posted a story about Dr. Arnold Klein, who told us that Michael Jackson had a habit of peeing in cups and other objects, often in front of others. Dr. Klein told TMZ today Jackson would pee in any object that was available and it all stemmed from necessity. "That's how he peed," Klein said. Klein told us when Jackson was 5 years old and on stage, there were often no bathrooms in the immediate vicinity and as a result he would pee in bottles.

Wow, what a sexy life Michael Jackson had! A drug-addicted child rapist who looked like Mr. Potato Head and liked to piss in your empty energy drink. Man, if I was a 12-year old boy with lukemia, I would be so down with that, too!

After hanging out in the freezer for over two months, Michael Jackson is FINALLY being buried today in Glendale, California. So, why did it take so long? The reality show his brothers are filming had to get it scheduled of course. MSNBC reports:

Jackson's body will be placed in the Holly Terrace section of the Great Mausoleum, which, according to a source who has seen the burial site, “looks like a cathedral.” Part of the Mausoleum in below ground, part above. Jackson will be placed above ground. Aside from immediate family, expect Jackson family confidants, such as Rev. Al Sharpton, to attend the 4 p.m. PT burial. A family source confirms that Debbie Rowe, Prince and Paris Jackson’s mother, was invited to attend, but at press time she hadn’t confirmed whether she’d be there. As for the ceremony itself, “it won’t be a religious one,” according to the family source. “The kids (Paris, Prince and Blanket) might say something, too, but the plan is to have (Jackson’s brother) Randy deliver the eulogy.” The family has said it wants this to be a private event; however, sources close to the clan say to expect to see “private” portions surface on the A&E reality show about the Jackson brothers that is currently being taped.

There's no telling what the ceremony is gonna entail, but it's the Jacksons. I'm sure the coffin will have stickers on it like it's in a NASCAR race and his brothers will be dancing around a new Ford Focus, because the Focus doesn’t skimp on safety. In fact, it’s packed with safety technologies you might expect to find only in those bigger, more expensive cars!

Awww, how sweet.

Since looking for pictures of a dead guy whose been in a meat locker for two months isn't really my thing, and since it was so much fun yesterday, here's Denise Milani and an inconvenient blanket: