Michael Lohan is set to go under the knife tomorrow, but today ... sources close to MiLo tell TMZ he is having trouble breathing and speaking as he rests up for the surgery. As TMZ first reported, Lohan will undergo heart surgery on Monday and have a stent inserted. Sources close to Lohan tell us heart problems run in the family. We're told doctors feel Lohan should have had the procedure six months ago, and that's why he is in such bad condition today.
"Having trouble breathing and speaking"? I don't know. I'm failing to see a problem here.
Hey, guys. It's Michael Lohan. Lindsay's dad. You can call me Mike. I go on talk shows a lot saying my daughter has a drug and alcohol problem. You know me, right? Yeah, so I was arrested the other day and the judge told me to "not even dream" of Kate Major, but look here, man. I'm gonna go get drunk and do some blow, then go stalk her. It's cool. I'll just jump three stories and hide in a tree when the cops come. Don't even worry about it.
Just hours after being released from a two day jail stint and being admonished by a judge not to “even dream” about Major, Michael repeatedly contacted her via phone according to the police report obtained by RadarOnline.com. When officers arrived at the motel where Lindsay Lohan’s father was staying, they were initially unable to locate him, but while they were in the parking lot they spotted him. “I saw a subject on the second floor hiding behind a pillar,” the police report states. “I yelled the def's name and told him to come down and talk. This def tried concealing himself a little more but decided to run up a stairwell as we approached him. “As we went out to the balcony to look around, we saw the def fall from a 3rd floor balcony next to the one we were standing on. The def apparently leaped up from his balcony and grabbed a hold of the roof. He then must have scurried across the roof (about 30 feet) until he thought he was hanging over top of the next balcony. The def then let go but missed this balcony. “He came crashing down on top of wooden high chairs that were laying on the ground. This fall was 34 feet (measured with laser). The def then hid in some trees directly below where he was apprehended. Michael’s fall wasn’t without consequences, according to the police officer. “The def's mouth was full of blood from where he bit his tongue. He also injured his foot. The Tampa Police report also stated that Michael had “Consumed Alcohol and Drugs.”
I've tried to wrap my head around this story since yesterday, but I finally gave up because you really can't explain or understand what a sociopath does. I haven't checked, but is there a more fucked up family than the Lohan's? There can't be, right? If I find out tomorrow that Ali Lohan is just Dina in the skin of hitchhiker she and Lindsay killed so they could steal her identity and take out a line of credit, I would have fully expected it.
Note: Yes, that's Miranda Kerr in a bra in the banner pic instead of Michael Lohan. Are we even having this discussion right now?
This is what my grandfather used to call "stuck on stupid". TMZ reports:
Michael Lohan was just arrested AGAIN in Florida after allegedly contacting his GF Kate Major -- and law enforcement tells TMZ, he tried to escape by jumping a 3rd-story balcony ... and accidentally fell into a tree. According to law enforcement sources, Tampa police responded to a call early this morning from Kate, who claimed Michael had been trying to contact her by phone and wouldn't leave her alone. We're told officers interviewed Kate at her apartment after she made the call -- the same apartment where Michael allegedly bruised her up earlier this week -- and while they were there, Michael allegedly called again. According to law enforcement, officers believed Michael was a "threat" -- so they rolled up to his hotel to arrest him. But here's the crazy part -- law enforcement tells TMZ, Michael tried to escape by hopping his 3rd story balcony ... and he ended up falling into a tree. After officers pulled him down, Michael was placed under arrest for violating a condition of his pretrial release(presumably for contacting Kate) ... and resisting arrest without violence. Michael is currently back in custody -- at the same jail he was released from less than twelve hours ago.
5:30 AM -- Michael is currently in the hospital getting a possible foot injury checked out.
6:08 AM -- Kate Major has released a statement to TMZ ... saying, "I am sick of being lied about by Michael Lohan Sr.'s false allegations about his continual physical and mental abuse toward me."
"Obviously the judge was correct when questioning if he could 'read.'"
She adds, "He has no regard for the justice system. He can beat up women but Mr. tough guy who slurred his words calling me 5 times after getting out of jail wasn't too tough by jumping off a 3rd floor balcony into a tree to try to flee from going back to the same jail he just got released from less than 12 hours ago"
"Maybe they have phonics books in jail!"
At this point, if my name was Todd Lohan, I'd visit my nearest courthouse to see if I could change it to "Todd Van Der Sloot" or "Todd Chris Brown Childrapistserialkiller". You know, just so I wouldn't have to live with that shame.
Michael Lohan was released from jail. Wonder what made him mad enough to hit his girlfriend? TMZ reports:
Michael Lohan was released from jail moments ago in Florida -- after allegedly bruising up his GF Kate Major in a domestic dispute Tuesday -- but Lindsay's dad insists, "I did not lay a hand on her." TMZ posted the pictures yesterday ... showing what Major claims are bruises inflicted by Michael during the incident -- when Michael allegedly flipped on her for refusing to perform oral sex on him.
I don't know why Kate Major is complaining. Unless she refused to blow him because she was too busy making him a sandwich, she pretty much had it coming.
Michael Lohan is cooling his ass in a Tampa jail this morning after getting arrested on suspicion of domestic violence charges.Tampa Police arrested Lindsay Lohan's dad at 1:10AM ET after they responded to reports of a fight between Michael and a live-in girlfriend. Law enforcement sources confirm it was Lohan's on again-off again GF Kate Major. Now this part is classic Lohan: We're told Michael complained of chest pains when he was taken into custody -- so police took him to a hospital. We're told Michael was treated, and then was attempting to slip out of the hospital on his own -- until an officer spotted him, hauled him down to jail and booked him for the alleged domestic violence. Tampa PD's website lists him as still in custody. Michael was last arrested for domestic violence by LAPD back in March after an alleged fight with then-GF Kate Major. Interestingly, he also complained of chest pains during that arrest.
Between a mother that takes her to bars and a dad that smacks up his girlfriend then becomes a flight risk, it's clear where Lindsay Lohan learns her strong sense of responsibility and moral righteousness. And also the right way to clean her glass pipe. That black residue can get really annoying.
Always ready to insert himself into anything dealing with his daughter by appearing in interviews for rent money, Michael Lohan was on Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell on HLN yesterday where he explained Lindsay Lohan probably needs more than a Crest Whitestrip. Radar Online reports:
“That’s from smoking a pipe with meth or crack,” Michael said about Lindsay’s brown teeth. When Velez-Mitchell asked him to clarify what he meant he point blank said his daughter is abusing illegal drugs. “She’s smoking either crack or meth, one or the other. I’m not going to shade it.” As RadarOnline.com exclusively reported, Lindsay skipped her court ordered shoplifting awareness class to have emergency dental surgery to fix her rotting teeth on October 14, just two days after appearing on the red carpet with her gnarly grill. “If you’re talking about prescription medication it would affect all your teeth, not just your two front teeth,” Michael said about his daughter’s dental issues. “You can’t dance with the devil and expect to go home with Jesus.”
You know, unless Jesus is a Mexican guy with crack or meth. Sorry to bring the room down by dissecting your analogy.
Sources close to Lindsay Lohan tell TMZ... Lindsay hid in her apartment this afternoon, afraid of her father Michael Lohan, who was at the front door trying to break in. We're told MiLo was also staring in the back windows of her Venice apartment, trying to spot Lindsay inside, and began banging on the windows. UPDATE 3:21 PM PT -- We're told Michael has finally left. According to our sources, the cops were not called.
I have no idea why this happened, and to be honest, I don't give a shit. It's the Lohans. It happened because it was Sunday? Who knows. Your guess is as good as mine. Everyone in this family is batshit. I could read a story that says Lindsay wears a camouflage hat because she believes people won't be able to read her mind and I'd totally believe it.
Lindsay Lohan is dropping her last name because she hates her dad. And because she can. From PopEater:
Diddy did it. So did Madonna and Prince, and now you can add Lindsay Lohan to the list of celebrities who are opting for a single moniker, with the troubled star's mom, Dina, confirming to me that Lindsay plans to remove "Lohan" from her official name.
"Lindsay is dropping the Lohan and just going by Lindsay," Dina tells me, exclusively. "Plus, me and [younger daughter] Ali will be officially changing our last names back to my maiden name, Sullivan."
Lindsay had been thinking about dropping her surname for some time but at first thought no one would know who she was. It was only after the infamous Super Bowl E-trade advertisement referring to a baby as "that milkaholic Lindsay," that the actress knew she no longer needed it.
"So many of the greatest people in showbiz are known by just their first name. Look at Oprah and Beyonce. Now you can add Lindsay to that list," a family friend tells me. "And it's a way for them all to start over. No one in the family want anything to do with Lindsay's father [Michael Lohan] anymore and that includes sharing a last name."
Of course, Michael Lohan denied everything.
Michael responded with a clear denial later Friday during a visit to Jane Velez-Mitchell's hit HLN show. "I don't think it's true at all," he said. "I would never imagine any of my kids changing their name, especially Lindsay."
While I admit it makes sense for Dina Lohan to change her last name (she's been divorced for years), I don't see this working out. Despite releasing some shitty albums before getting dropped from her label, Lindsay isn't known for being a pop star, and this isn't a smart move for a would-be film star. Beyonce, Prince, Diddy, and Madonna are known for their talent, their longevity, and their brands. Lindsay is known for her addictions to Captain, coke, cock, and cuffs. She may want to focus on getting work before worrying about how many Ls are in the marquee.
