I have no idea what the hell is going on in these pictures of Michelle Marsh at the beach, but I take comfort in the fact that it looks like she really doesn't either. She has two giant pumpkins growing out of her chest, so it's hard to imagine that she'd have no idea where her top is. Maybe it was that fox on Dora the Explorer. Oh that Swiper, he's so sneaky!

These are probably NSFW:

If this site were based in the UK, I'd spend my days tending my garden, driving my motorcar to the market and writing about chicks like Michelle Marsh. She's in a British magazine or newspaper every day, and if you have a hard time picking her out, she's the one that usually has her tongue somewhere on Lucy Pinder. Think Ashlee Simpson without that pesky Y chromosome.

Petra Nemcova is way hotter [Hollywood Tuna]
Tyra Banks is obsessed with boobs and booty [Hollywood Rag]
Fergie is fug and greasy [Dlisted]
Keira Knightley likes Mom Jeans too [Just Jared]
Maria Menounos kicks it old school [Popoholic]
Lindsay Lohan gets Photoshopped for Allure [Egotastic]
Nancy Grace's sidekick gives us the wrong stats [College Humor]
Eddie Murphy's hot tub days [City Rag]
Jenna Elfman defends fellow Scientologist, Tom Cruise [ASL]
Nic and Jessica's Bogus Journey (Next) [Pajiba]
How many illegal aliens can you fit in a mini van? [Horny Oyster]
Hilary Duff sans makeup and tan [Popsugar]
Alyson Hannigan in a bikini (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Jenny McCarthy wins the "best breasts" debate [Double Viking]



Bonus: Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh. Girls kissing, for the win:

I don't know much about England except for what I read on tea boxes and see in James Bond movies, but they seem to have the market cornered on untalented white girls with huge tits. America has Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid. England has Kelly Brook, Keeley Hazell and Lucy Pinder. Michelle Marsh is what America would have instead of Ashlee Simpson if there was any justice in the world. I swore my history teacher told me that America won the Revolutionary War. I'm so confused.

NSFW: