A long-winded intro will just get in the way, so here's a clip of Jamie Foxx absolutely destroying Miley Cyrus on his Sirius Radio show. I don't know if it's illegal to tell a 16 year old girl to do heroin and make a sex tape or not, but somebody should probably let Jamie Foxx know if it is. Oh, and me, too. I mean, I sit in the high school parking lot everyday after school, but when the girls walk by they just run away! I'm beginning to think they just see me as more of a friend and want me to play tag. Everybody loves to play tag!!


UPDATE: Foxx has now apologized. Kinda.

"I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it," he tried to explain to Jay. "And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far... There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously."

Trust me when I say it's not my intention or desire to give 16 year olds eating disorders, but weren't these pictures just taken last week? I mean, what happened? Am I the only one who thinks that when she teleported herself she should have made sure Kelly Clarkson wasn't in the pod with her? Doesn't she know that the calibrations on the computer won't recognize two single organisms?! Oh God, be afraid...be very afraid.

Before you yell at me, realize these pictures were taken at a book signing for her...wait for it...autobiography:

I have no idea why Miley Cyrus was jogging around Toluca Lake yesterday with her rack hanging out, but if she could put it away, that would be great. She's 16. She should be giggling in the food court or trying to steal stuff from Claire's, not jogging in a bikini top. In fact, I wouldn't even click on these pictures, dude. If you do, the FBI might send cyborgs ninjas to your house to taser you.


Photo credit: Splash

Last week, this picture of Miley Cyrus making an "Asian face" was blasted all over the Internet causing many Asian people to get angry. Especially, Lucie J. Kim. A woman in Los Angeles who is suing Cyrus for...wait for it...$4 billion. TMZ reports:

Lucie J. Kim claims to represent more than 1 million Asian Pacific Islanders who live in L.A. County. Kim claims when Cyrus posed for the photo, she "knew or should have known that her image would be publicly disseminated via the media, which Cyrus knew focused on her private life, specifically TMZ." Kim says in the suit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, that each Asian Pacific Islander is entitled to the minimum damages for a civil rights violation -- $4,000. Add it up -- $4 billion! Kim says Miley's "just a kid" defense doesn't fly. She says it's like Paris Hilton claiming to be just a kid. Ouch.

Um, can't we just agree that this is just fuckin stupid? She pointed out that Asian's eyes are squinty, she didn't start the Tiananmen Square Massacre. Besides, if Asians didn't want people to make fun of them, they should probably start making better game shows and stop dying their hair blonde and getting those ridiculous implants. You're 70 pounds, Ling Fang. C'mon sweetie, who you fooling?

Taylor Swift would so get it:

Inspired by Duck With A D*ck, which I just would have named Botox'd Transvestite Bath Toy. But, that's why I don't work in advertising. [BestWeekEver]

Disney made Miley Cyrus write another apology for the Asian thing because "Vewy vewy sawry" was a tad offensive. [LaineyGossip]

I wish calling cleavage "the slash" was a thing, because that would make this post about Slash' wife's cleavage so much funnier. [DrunkenStepfather]

Kanye West would like you to know that Rihanna had potential "to be the greatest artist of all time." And if his Grammy performance sucked, it was because he knew this potential. Kanye West is an ass. [SocialiteLife]

Celebrity cars make me feel poor, but equally happy that our celebrities have avoided buying Segways. I'd rather be a second class citizen to a guy driving a BMW. [CityRag]

All I have to do to get sweet, sweet government money is to knock up one woman with octuplets. I am fertile, taking applications and have strong opinions about freeloading off the government. [ICYDK]

The Chris Brown "Got Milk?" ads will be pulled. I suggest they replace them with Rihanna "Does A Body Good" hospital photographs. [JustJared]

Paris Hilton suggested a duet to Paul McCartney after the Grammys, secretly hoping to green light her second porno Hard Day's Night In Paris. [ImNotObsessed]

In her never ending quest to get every stupid thing on camera then leaked online, Miley Cyrus in under fire once again for the above picture in which she makes fun of Asians. Apparently Asians don't like it when you do that. The Sun reports:

A spokesman for The Organization of Chinese American (OCA) blasted: “Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimised the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans. "The inclusion of an Asian Pacific American individual in the photo does not make it acceptable. We hope that Miley Cyrus will apologise to her fans and the APA community for this lapse in judgment and takes the opportunity to better understand why the gesture is offensive."

OCA really needs to chill out, because it looks like the Asian dude in the picture didn't have a problem with it. Besides, I could think of a million things more racist than this. My uncle still calls them Orientals, so be glad he wasn't involved in this. If he was, I'm pretty sure the Asian guy would be working on an abacus and everybody else would be pretending to build a railroad.

I wish I could say these sideboob pictures of Miley Cyrus were completely unexpected, but she's been preparing us for this for over a year now (see here, here, here and here), so seeing Miley Cyrus' breasts was bound to happen sooner or later. I guess they'll stay up until our servers are seized, so enjoy or throw up on your shoe. You know, whichever one applies in this case.



Photo Credit: Splash

There's no way I'm going to post the rest of these, so all I can say is it must suck being that dude in the black cowboy hat. I'm sure it would get pretty annoying really fast if I had to register every time I left the state.