After three years of dating, Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey have split. You know, not that I really give a damn. Star Magazine reports:

"They have amicably split but remain good friends who still greatly care for one another," Vanessa's rep said. Talk of trouble has followed the duo for months. Back in May, Star reported that Nick was hitting on a Jessica look-alike at a Kentucky Derby party -- the night after he kissed another girl at a club.

So to recap, a chick who barely anybody knows dumped some guy that you liked when you were 14 then realized that boy bands are gay so you banged the guy in your high school who sold drugs and drove that new Jeep. Except it really wasn't his Jeep it was his dad's because his dad was rich and the guy was just a wigger you thought was cool because he wore his hat backwards and used words he learned on BET and listened to rap because he could identify with it because how he was raised in that gated community on the golf course where his mom got drunk that one time and slipped, hey you remember that? He even had a pitbull because after all that's what black people do and he felt that if he did he could be black too, because black people are cool because they can like dance and stuff and rent Ferrari's for a day when they do a videoshoot and sip champagne when dey thurstay. I guess I could ramble on a little more, but I hope this clears this whole story up.


Vanessa Minnillo and her nipples back when Nick Lachey was supposedly cool:

For some reason, pointing out the fact that Jessica Simpson gargles with cookie dough has sparked an international crisis, causing D-list celebrities everywhere to speak out with feigned indignation and mock outrage. Nick Lachey is not one of these people. US Magazine reports:

Nick Lachey says he is shocked by all the hype being made over his ex-wife Jessica Simpson's new curves..."I wish her nothing but the best, and I hope she's happy - whatever size that comes in," he tells Extra. "I can't believe it's this big of a story and people are making such a huge deal about it. "

I don't want to read into anything here, but I think Nick Lachey just called Jessica Simpson a fat ass.

Vanessa Minnillo - Nick Lachey is still hitting this. Point, Lachey:

Being an attention whore is a hard job, and if anybody deserves the gold medal it's Vanessa Minnillo. She really has no discernible talent other than bending over for Nick Lachey, so you'd at least think she'd be hot. We've already seen Vanessa Minnillo naked, so scratch that. She looks like the girl that gave my dad water in the P.O.W. camp. And if I remember the story correctly, that's not the sexiest look you can have.

A couple of what are allegedly uncensored pictures of Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey on their public sexed Mexican vacation hit the Internet today. I don't know if they're the real thing or not, but Vanessa's implanted tits look a lot like they did in these see-through pictures of her, and I'm still trying very hard to care. Vanessa Minnillo has all the appeal of a knockoff Barbie from a 99 cent store and Nick Lachey's former bandmate is embarrassing himself on VH1 with another knockoff band. I'm only posting this because there are boobies, and according to an old Chinese proverb, "Boobies make the world go 'round."

These are NSFW:

OK! magazine didn't just buy the uncensored pictures and video of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo having sex in a hot tub during their vacation in Mexico, the "celebrity-friendly" magazine paid $400,000 so the public would never get to see them.

There's much worse stuff than what got out there on the Internet," says a snitch. "If Nick's fans saw it all, it would definitely change his career, because he kind of has a squeaky-clean image."...But don't expect to see any steamy pics in the mag's pages. In accordance with their celebrity-friendly policy and recent Lachey-Minnillo cover story, OK! shelled out the money to take the material off the market, says a source."

Well, whatever. The pictures will get leaked eventually and hopefully these two won't be so boring by then. Nick Lachey might be an unfrozen caveman and Vanessa Minnillo looks like somebody my dad vaccinated for polio in Vietnam, so with any luck, we'll get to see these two have sex! Boy, I can hardly wait!

Vanessa Minnillo out bowling a few days ago:


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More pictures have surfaced of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo's Mexican vacation, and this time they show the couple having sex in a hot tub, in public. Many people are speculating that fame whore Minnillo leaked the photos in her never-ending quest to become famous.

I think Nick Lachey's gal pal Vanessa Minnillo is finally figuring out how this fame thing works. For the second time this month she's caught (wink, wink) in racy photos...This is how careers are made these days. Her peeps probably rented the room based on the capability of your cameraman getting the perfect angle. She's the one who probably called to tip you off on their whereabouts right from her own cell phone...Earlier this month, racy photos of Minnillo and Lindsay Lohan playing with knives miraculously popped up, a year after they were shot."

Vanessa Minnillo is pretty desperate, but Nick Lachey seemed a little nonchalant last week for a guy threatening to sue everyone when he said "It's not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker." Technically, he's right because Minnillo is Filipino, not Mexican. Filipino hookers may be better, I don't know. I've never really seen one up close. Well, except for the blonde one with the dragons painted on her nails at my brother's bachelor party. And that was more like a dare.


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* Images removed per request of alleged copyright holder.

Here are Vanessa (who??) Minnillo and Nick (who?) Lachey at some club opening last night. As much as I hate to help make Vanessa famous, I was too distracted by the bodyguard pictured not to post these. Why would you want some 600 pound sweaty pig for your bodyguard? So he can huff, puff and pant his way through the crowd and hopefully not die of a heart attack before he reaches your car? Your bodyguard should look like a Navy Seal, or Army Ranger, or Secret Service agent, not ... this. And what's with the "Black Panther Party WARRIOR" t-shirt? He doesn't look a militant black dude. He looks like a guy The Minuteman corps would find stuck in a fence at the border.

Nick Lachey is a 34 year old dude that used to be in a shitty boy band, yet every time you see Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo together, she's always all over him. Vanessa Minnillo is hot. Nick Lachey looks like he should be hanging from a tire swing. I could see if he was cool guy, but he asked Jessica Simpson for alimony and his workday includes "practicing dance moves." I wonder who's in charge of making the popcorn when these two watch Lifetime.