Nicole Richie is a spoiled, self-centered cokewhore, so it's no wonder why she's so super excited about being pregnant:

Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail."...But friends are concerned and "wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues."

Nice. Millions of women around the world are unable to have kids, but Nicole is going to throw hers in the dumpster if it can't keep her out of jail. She shouldn't be allowed to babysit a Barbie. On the bright side, she's only 85 pounds. Hopefully by the second trimester the baby will just punch out of her like that thing in Alien. Well, hello there little fella!


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An episode of the upcoming 5th season of The Simple Life, in which Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were to work as children's camp counselors, has been canceled after the pair (both on probation for DUIs) refused to take a mandatory camp drug test. Jerry Silverman, the head of Foundations For Jewish Camping said:

Counselors are trained, recruited and tested. We take (it) very seriously."

Um, maybe we should test the people who agreed to let them work at this camp because who let these two skanks around kids? They'd probably show up with a 12-pack and a bag of weed. A bunch of 8 year olds tripping on ecstasy and learning how to give handjobs probably isn't the fun-filled experience of discovery and adventure their parents had in mind.

Paris and an unidentified stain on her dress on March 13th:


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Labels: nicole richie, nicole richie dui, paris exposed, paris hilton, paris hilton dui

Nicole Richie has been charged with DUI as a result of her December 11th arrest when she was pulled over going the wrong way on the 134 Freeway in Burbank, CA. At the time of her arrest, Richie admitted being under the influence of Vicodin and marijuana. Since this could be her second conviction (her first coming in 2002), California law requires a mandatory sentence of five consecutive days in jail, a one year license suspension and enrollment in an alcohol education program for 18 months. Richie will be arraigned in Los Angeles County Court on February 21st.

In case you didn't pick up on that, Nicole Richie's 85 pound ass might be thrown in jail in less than a week. If you thought it couldn't get any more awesome, this was reportedly Nicole's worst fear. So if my calculations are correct, Nicole will spend 4 days and 23 hours in jail laying in her own urine curled up in the fetal position. Not that I give a shit what happens to her. I could accidentally hit Nicole with my truck then get out and give all the witnesses high fives to make them think I did it on purpose.

We're refusing to post pictures of fug Nicole Richie (other than that mugshot), so Happy belated Valentine's Day from Aria Giovanni:


And, by request, sexy men for the ladies (and some guys):

Labels: nicole richie, nicole richie dui

Since Nicole Richie pleaded no contest to a DUI charge in 2002, where she blew a .13, a judge must impose a mandatory jail sentence if Richie is convicted of yet another DUI stemming from her latest arrest in which she was pulled over going down the wrong way on the Burbank Freeway.

The law requires a mandatory sentence of five consecutive days in county jail as well as a one year license suspension for anyone twice-convicted of DUI. In addition, Richie would be ordered to attend an alcohol education program for a year-and-a-half, even if the second conviction is not alcohol-related."

To reiterate, her bony ass is going to jail. All 85 pounds of her. I don't know what happens to little 85 pound rich girls in jail, but I can take a guess. The thought of her curled up in the fetal position under Lionel Richie's bed right now makes me happy. Seriously, if I was any more giddy right now I'd be gay.

I was looking for new pictures of Nicole Richie, then I saw these and stopped:


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Labels: nicole richie, nicole richie dui

Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI at 4:50 a.m. today after two separate motorists called 911 upon seeing her SUV going the wrong way on the 134 Freeway in Burbank. According to the booking sheet, Nicole Richie was listed at 5'1" and weighed 85 pounds.

When the CHP responded, Richie was stopped in the carpool lane and was alone in the vehicle. When cops approached the vehicle, Richie was on her cellphone. Law enforcement officers tell TMZ Nicole Richie admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot."

Nicole Richie's representative wasn't availa...holy shit, 85 pounds?!? Nicole Richie should be driving a tricycle, not an SUV. How did the cops arrest her, with a butterfly net? I could see the two cops running back to their car, one holding a glass jar with his hand over it, saying "No need to worry folks, we got her."


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Labels: nicole richie, nicole richie dui