Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is famous for banging Jason Statham and not being Megan Fox. And I guess for doing (nsfw) stuff like this. I'd expound further, but I keep falling asleep.

Apparently Jess and I were both thinking about British chicks with huge tits this morning, which means Jess is probably a lesbian, so here's Holly Peers in the Peba 2012 calendar. Click on the banner and you'll also see outtakes of her huge tits doing various things. Walking on the beach! Sitting on the stairs! Squeezed together! Walking on the beach again! Covered in sand! They're so versatile!

Seriously, just click the banner. If you can stop staring at her NSFW rack for a second, you'd understand why I want to raid her closet. So colorful! So cute!

Wait, you mean to tell me that nobody wants to pay money to see an airbrushed drug addict with fake teeth airbrushed by Pixar? It's like I don't understand the world anymore. Fox News reports:

Amidst the holiday melee, shoppers aren’t rushing to pick up their copy of the much-talked about Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy this week. It was one thing to see Lohan’s nude Playboy spread when it was leaked on the Internet last week. It’s another experience entirely to see the 10 pages of photos in person in the magazine, which hit newsstands Friday. But not many consumers are paying for that experience. In fact, interest seems low in seeing Lohan’s intensely air-brushed impersonation of Marilyn Monroe in glossy print...No one has bought it,” was the resounding answer to our query at each stop. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. Once the photos were leaked, the response to the spread, for which Playboy paid a reported $1 million, were lukewarm across the board. “I'm not surprised at all. Despite Playboy's hype, there was nothing particularly shocking or new about this shoot. While these shots may have been slightly closer to full frontal than Lindsay's previous shots, they weren't actually full frontal; there was also nothing particularly new about Lindsay dressing up as Marilyn Monroe,” says Lux Alptraum, editor of Fleshbot.com. “I thought the shots were really boring and didn't really live up to the promises Playboy had made," Alptraum added. "If they'd actually gotten full frontal shots of Lindsay, or come up with a fresher, more interesting concept, there might have been more demand for the photos.”

Hugh Hefner basically knew it wasn't going to sell, but he's old and senile.

In an exclusive interview with E! News Hugh Hefner himself admitted that he originally had doubts about including Lohan in the magazine and putting her on the cover. “It really came as a surprise to me," Hefner told E! "I kind of had mixed emotions about it initially, and then it turned into something bigger than life. "I wasn't quite sure where she was at in her life, obviously. It depends on whether it's Tuesday or Thursday."

I wouldn't pay Lindsay Lohan to kill herself, so I'm not sure why Playboy would pay all that when all you have to do is get on Google and type "lindsay lohan nude". Or just show up at her house with some white stuff in a ziploc bag. She'd be spreading out a tarp and pouring lube in her ass before she even realizes she just snorted flour.

As you might or might not have noticed, I'm writing on the weekends now because Jess is apparently too good to condescend to do it because she's hungover most of the time (ooh la di da i have big tits la di da buy me a jameson mexican hipster la di da my vagina is locked la di da lol sorry), so in fairness to you and myself, weekends around here will now consist of a whole lot of naked. I hope that pleases everyone. Like the ridiculously hot Rosie Jones pleases me in her photoshoot for Loaded called "Student Living". Where she does everything college chicks do except without the running shorts and Uggs.


Rosie Jones in a bath of beans by loadedmag

Because people without SmartPhones need a way to keep track of what day it is, Lucy Pinder made a calendar. Because Todd gets off on big tits and page views (and because Todd pays me), I'm posting it for you (NSFW). Happy Friday!

And, based on these photos, probably back problems. Click the banner (NSFW) for a year's worth of cookie cravings.

Of course Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot immediately leaked and hit online yesterday, and since Hugh Hefner seems to be perfectly fine with that (he's releasing the issue early now), here it is (NSFW). You can look at it if you want, but please keep in mind each picture gets more desperate than the next, and apparently the only way she'll show her vagina to a camera is if she's getting out of a car.