Britney Spears failed to show up for her court-ordered deposition today and then had her scumbag friend, Osama "Sam" Lufti tell everyone the media attention caused Britney "anxiety," so she was unable to attend. TMZ reports:

As for when another depo will happen, Kaplan wouldn't say. But he did say he will seek some sort of relief from the court. Someone's pissed!

It's going to be so awesome to see Britney's dumb ass match wits with an attorney. An artist's rendition of the deposition will later reveal a cat swatting a dead mouse or Britney being sacrificed to Kong.

More (NSFW) Britney Spears upskirt pictures from this night. You're welcome:

The "7th Annual Breakthrough of the Year Awards" were Sunday, and based on the pictures, Megan Fox's nipple won the grand prize. It should, because minus the tats, this chick is damn near perfect. I heard if she gave you a blowjob your dick would roam the earth healing the sick and performing miraculous acts of wonder.



Um, O-face?

Thanks, Dave!

Britney Spears went on a Starbucks run last night wearing a shirt, no pants, and covered in some mysterious white powder. At first I thought it might be cocaine or the residuals from a box of donuts, but I decided it's delousing powder. You know, like that shit they threw all over the prisoners as they entered Shawshank. I'd like to think the Starbucks employees threw that powder on her and used some sort of excuse like she's a "health code violation" or some shit and then snickered as Britney stood there chomping her gum whilst waiting for her Frappuccino with that stupid smirk on her face and blank look in her eyes. Then the employees watched in confusion as Britney snorted and licked herself. In retrospect, the original plan may have backfired, but the Starbucks employees were funny, and that's all that really matters.

Some of these are NSFW:

Once upon a time, Jessica Simpson vowed to stay a virgin until she was married. Earlier this year, citing her strong morals and faith, Simpson refused to get naked for a "potentially Oscar-winning role" as a porn star. This was all before God sent her last two movies straight to DVD. Since God hates pious-for-the-camera attention whores, her next movie will contain full frontal nudity.

A source said: "Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting. "The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry's respect that she's ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all."

I'm not sure about acting, but this will definitely put her right on the map in terms of hostessing. Jessica Simpson couldn't play Jessica Simpson, so maybe this isn't the best way to earn the industry's respect. Blondes with DDs shouldn't be trying to win Oscars, they should be "Girl #4" in Anal Invasion 8 or in orange shorts bringing me wings.

We've already seen Jessica's low hangers anyway (NSFW):



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I don't know if anybody is as turned on as I am right now, but Ashanti's sister Kenashia (a.k.a. "Shi Shi") is a beauty that comes along once in a lifetime. I love a woman who shows off her black belt in self-esteem even on her fifth trip through the buffet line. That's right, bitches. Don't hate!


More hotness including Ashanti and Ashanti's mother:


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Exhibit Z: Adrift in Manhattan. The plot outline says it's about "The lives of three lonely strangers intersect while commuting on New York's subway lines," and Graham apparently plays the one who really likes it doggy style. Of course, it's Heather Graham. She's awesome. She's naked in everything. If she was in Bee Movie it would have been a heartwarming story of a bee who pulls off her top and blows some guy when she discovers humans actually eat honey.

Two very NSFW clips of Heather Graham's sex scenes after the jump...

In case you're new to Earth, let me fill you in. Lindsay Lohan doesn't like to wear bras when there are cameras around. The Sun says:

Lindsay Lohan has given up a lot of things for good since rehab - and it seems her bra may be one of them. Famous for leaving her underwear at home in the past, Lindsay is showing no signs of changing her ways as we approach 2008. Li-Lo was on her way to dinner at Koi restaurant in LA when she was snapped by an army of paps. Her thin sheer top was too weak for their flashes, though, which showed off her lack of support. I guess it gives new meaning to the phrase 'turning on the Christmas lights'."

Lindsay could take a thousand pictures and at least half would end like this, this, or this. Say what you want about Lindsay Lohan, but the skank does have a great rack. That's why Kiefer Sutherland got sentenced to 48 days and Lindsay Lohan got 84 minutes. Kiefer Sutherland's boobs weren't even perky.

Eva Mendes has been named the face of PETA's winter anti-fur campaign. There's an article where she rambles on about her dog speaking Spanish, but the only purpose of this post is Eva Mendes ass. With her slutted up hair and makeup, Eva poses completely nude with the caption, "Fur? I'd rather go naked." I really hope she means that, because a lot of pubic hair is gross. Oh wait, we're talking about animals. That's right, murdering animals is bad. Except when they deserve it. Like when they're real juicy.

These are probably NSFW: