Helena Bonham Carter says filming Sweeney Todd while was she pregnant caused issues. Issues with her boobs. Page Six says:

Anyone who ... pays attention to my breast size will see there's no continuity," she tells January's Playboy. "The first half of filming I wasn't pregnant, and the second half I was, and because we didn't shoot it in order, I start off with huge breasts and then I walk upstairs and suddenly I've got tangerines again. It's melons to tangerines."

Helena Bonham Carter looks like Jack Skellington, so I'll take her word for it. I just think we can all agree that the tangerines to melons scenario is way more socially acceptable. Especially during job interviews. I see here on your resume that you've cultivated integrated paradigms and enhanced leading-edge methodologies, but that isn't an A-cup is it?


Helena Bonham Carter's nipples in Novocaine (NSFW):

Heather Mills, the one-legged gold-digger who Paul McCartney was dumb enough to marry without a prenup, is playing down her past.

Across the pages of the smutty mag, pouting Heather boasts: "I'm gonna drive you crazy with my body...". Yet just a month ago, the estranged wife of Beatles legend Sir Paul McCartney had the front to go on GMTV and rant hysterically that newspaper stories of her porn past were untrue.

Heather, 39, cried crocodile tears and said: "They eliminate the whole 20 years of my life of campaigning and put in things like 'hardcore porn queen'." She dismissed her top shelf career as "glamour modelling."

So porn is "glamour modelling" now? With that in mind, I can only assume wearing your underwear inside out is "doing the laundry," farting in someone's face is "CPR," and masturbation is "ethnic cleansing." Okay, I'm not sure that last one made sense, but I rule, so... yay me.

Heather's glamour modelling:


Source

I reached for my pink Post-it notes to no avail. I checked the usual places ... the trash, Sherry's cubicle, Fred's fanny pack, Brad's boxer briefs, still no pink Post-its. Alas, there were Jack and Dave shooting spitballs at each other in the conference room as a topless Kate Moss stood between them blocking the shots. According to these pictures, Kate was hit at least twice. She's a real trooper.

Walking around with somebody's name branded on your ass is only acceptable if you're a farm animal, a prostitute, or a Cabbage Patch Kid. However, I'm pretty sure that Katie "Jordan" Price falls into all three categories, so we'll let this one slide.

A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, the MTV show where 16 straight dudes and 16 lesbian women try to win the heart of that one Vietnamese whore from MySpace, is completely fake and will not be renewed because Tequila (real name: Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen) has been in a heterosexual relationship for over a year. I know, I couldn't believe it either! Page Six reports:

But it's "all a sham," says a source close to the show. "Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she's not really bi. She's made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all." Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she's single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, "who's like five years older than her. This is a massive scam . . . That's why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won't dump him."

Another theory for the cancellation is that Tila Tequila is really, really ugly. Seriously, if I was a contestant on something where this was the prize I'd slam my penis in a car door just in case.

The only interesting thing that happened on the show after the jump...

Some NSFW fake lesbian action:

Jennifer Love Hewitt gets engaged [ASL]
Ryan Gosling loses the fat [Just Jared]
Brad Pitt won't get naked anymore [Dlisted]
Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are for publicity [Hollywood Rag]
Steve-O is smoking weed again [City Rag]
Mary-Kate Olsen gets back to not eating [Popsugar]
Mischa Barton gets Photoshopped [Hollywood Tuna]
Charisma Carpenter is single [Popoholic]
Hayden Panettiere wears a thong (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Penelope Cruz's lace bra (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
2 Girls, 1 Cup, 1 Grandma, 1 Reaction [College Humor]
Kristen Bell does Complex [Egotastic]
Steve Carell picks his nose in public [Webster's is my Bitch]
Elle MacPherson and Bryan Adams are having sex [Daily Mail]

Elle MacPherson topless on the beach (NSFW):

Indiana Jones 4 movie stills [Just Jared]
Amy Winehouse cancels her entire tour [Dlisted]
Tyra Banks is bald [Hollywood Rag]
Kimora Lee Simmons scams Macy's [ASL]
Katherine Heigl is really popular [Popsugar]
Adriana Lima fits some bras [Hollywood Tuna]
Gwen Stefani shows off her legs [Popoholic]
Dolly Parton's plastic surgery [City Rag]
Kate Walsh is at the beach [Egotastic]
Halle Berry is see through (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Kristen Bell's shitty cameltoe (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Ryan O'Neil's worst line ever [College Humor]
Damn You Writers' Strike! (Your "The Daily Show" Fix) [Pajiba]

Classic Nicole Richie grossness (NSFW):

Paris Hilton eats a cum ball [Dlisted]
Jessica Simpson is eating away the pain [Hollywood Rag]
Pink is a manly dude [Hollywood Tuna]
Hayden Panettiere gets Photoshopped again [Popoholic]
Julia Roberts is an asshole [City Rag]
Rihanna is still trying too hard to be hot [Egotastic]
Coco shows off her cameltoe (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Owen Wilson's girlfriend, "Le Call" at the beach (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Salma Hayek's breasts are a gift from God [ASL]
Kate Hudson's new movie looks stupid [Popsugar]
Ryan O'Neil's worst line ever [College Humor]
Thandie Newton has a stupid hat [Just Jared]
Dane Cook is a Douchenozzle [Webster's Is My Bitch]

Classic Jayne Mansfield nipple goodness (pictured with Sophia Loren):