Other than Sarah Jessica Parker, Kirsten Dunst, and Cameron Diaz, Chastity Bono is the ugliest woman to ever appear on IDLYITW. She/He also has mental problems. Popeater reports:

For the first time, Chaz Bono, born to Cher and the late Sonny Bono as Chastity, opened up about his new life as a man, in an exclusive interview with 'Good Morning America.' "This was a very difficult decision to make, but it is the best decision I've ever made. I'm happier. I'm more confident. I feel great," he said. "It would be easy to say, 'Why did I wait so long to do this?' but I am a person who believes things will happen when they're suppose to happen. I was ready when I was ready. Life is just great now," he said. Bono, who has served as a LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) civil rights advocate, began the gender-changing process earlier this year, following his 40th birthday. His publicist announced Bono's decision to undergo gender reassignment in June. He is currently living with his girlfriend Jennifer. Bono has undergone breast removal surgery and began taking hormones to alter his appearance. "It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it. I was turning 40, and I thought it's now or never," he said. "Gender is between your ears and not between your legs. I've felt male for as far back as I can remember," he said. "As I child, I felt like a boy. My friends were boys and in school, I related to boys. If a game broke out [with] girls against the boys, I was always with the boys."

Really? Because I don't think anybody has ever given birth between their ears. I'll make this simple for you: If you're born with a vagina, you're a woman. If you're born with a penis you're a man. That's it. Case closed. Just because you like playing with trains instead of dolls and you feel like a boy, it doesn't mean that God made a mistake, it just means you need to double your dosage. Instead of cutting things off and taking hormone pills, maybe you should see a psychiatrist and deal with the ugliness inside instead of trying to get rid of it on the outside. "Society" calls you a woman because you were born with ovaries. Get over it. Just like I got over being born with a three-pound cock. Screw you God !!! Why have you cursed me so??!!

Due to my gag reflex, there's no way in hell I can download and edit more than one picture of this freak, so here's Olivia Wilde at the 14th annual GQ Men of the Year Party last night. Set your penis to stun:

My obsession with Olivia Wilde is reaching damn near crisis levels, so here she is in a hot photoshoot. She is so insanely beautiful I don't even know if I could have sex with her. If I did, my penis would have to wear a top hat and a cape just to feel dressed for the party.

Olivia Wilde and her hot little ass showed up to the Environmental Media Awards last night, and ummm, maybe I should go ahead post this. Painful erections are frowned upon in the workplace.

Since Olivia Wilde is on House and my ex-girlfriend's family used to call me House (not sure if that was a compliment, but whatever), so I thought it would make sense to post these pictures of Olivia Wilde at The Late Show last night. Hopefully it makes sense to your penis, because dear God she's hot. If I was the IOC, she definitely wouldn't be Chicago, because all she would have to do is send me these. Look, Megan and I aren't working out, so I really need to just move on. This may be a bit forward, but I just sent Olivia some chocolates and a heart. I hope she likes them. Especially the heart. That homeless guy seemed pretty attached to it.

God and I must have different tastes, because I was for sure he'd be watching the Cowboys/Giants game last night since all of the Cowboys fans say that's why the roof on their stadium is open, but obviously he decided to tune into the 61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards. Apparently he's the only Cowboy fan that realizes Tony Romo has the accuracy of a Mac-10.

Olivia Wilde should really be more famous than she is, not only because she's on the kick ass House or that she's the chick Megan Fox said she would go gay for, but because when I get her pregnant I could probably get more money for the baby when I sell it.

Olivia Wilde is in Maxim, and someone was nice enough to do some scans! So I shall share them with you.

I am a straight girl, but I'd hit it (like this, I'd hit it like that, I'd hit it with a wiffle ball bat! Ooooh, damn! Yep, "Paul Revere" is my favorite Beastie Boys song, and I know the actual lyrics, so there is no need to correct me). She has small titties, but still, nice! Well, I'm tired from trying too hard, and I'm all fake-lesbian'd out. So just enjoy the pics, 'kay?

I'm with the Maxim Hot 100 List 2009 as far as their top pick: Olivia Wilde. Mmmm. How'd I love to lick those boots, and I'm not even a foot fetishist.

Beyond Wilde, the list gets a little wonky, but the hearts of the Maxim staff are in the right place. Though it looks like they brought one to many of the idiot editors of Blender over to the flagship mag when the latter bit the dust.

That's right, I didn't like the Blender editors. That's the joke.

1. Olivia Wilde
2. Megan Fox
3. Bar Refaeli
4. Malin Akerman
5. Mila Kunis
6. Eliza Dusku
7. Adriana Lima
8. Rihanna
9. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

These are mostly SPOILER ALERTS, since the full list won't be revealed until the mag hits newsstands this Wednesday.

You can see numbers 31-100 at the Maxim site HERE.