Although they've been not-so-secretly been dating for almost two years, Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish (Phillippe's co-star in Stop Loss who reportedly had a hand in breaking up his marriage to Reese Witherspoon) ended speculation about their relationship when they made their first public appearance at the 2008 Australian in Film Breakthrough Awards in Beverly Hills last night. People reports:

They were adorable," says a guest. "He had his arm around her and they were cozy and comfortable." When Cornish - who was being honored with a Breakthrough Award - was introduced, Phillippe rubbed her back while she leaned against his shoulder. Throughout the evening, they held hands...The secret to Cornish's appeal? "We needed a girl who could knock back and drink the guys under the table, change a blown tire, whatever she needs to do," their Stop-Loss director, Kimberly Pierce, tells PEOPLE. "And she has that. She's that kind of girl."

I can understand how this was a big step for Ryan. I secretly dated a girl for two years and when I finally took her out the cops surrounded us and starting yelling stuff at me like "missing person" and "manhunt." Whatever. I think they were just jealous. I bet the only reason she ran into that cop's arms in the first place was because they were related or something and just wanted to catch up.

Abbie Cornish (and Heath Ledger) topless in Candy (NSFW):

Although he says he wishes his ex-wife, Reese Witherspoon, and friend, Jake Gyllenhaal the best, Ryan Phillippe now says he doesn't like looking at pictures of the new couple. I don't either. They're boring. Us Magazine reports:

It's bizarre," the Stop-Loss star, 33, tells USA Today. "There's plenty of times when I say, 'What a strange situation I've found myself in.' But at a certain point you know it's going to happen, so you are prepared in some fashion."

Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon split in 2006 while Phillippe was filming Stop Loss. Coincidentally, right around the time he starting banging his co-star, Abbie Cornish. They've been quietly dating ever since. So, I'm kinda having a hard time believing he's up nights trying to figure out ways to avoid seeing pictures of these two. He's probably just saying this to perpetuate the myth that Jake Gyllenhaal can get close to a vagina without giggling.

Jake Gyllenhaal's publicist must not be part of the WGA, because according to a "leaked" report, Reese Witherspoon allegedly turned down a marriage proposal from Gyllenhaal. A source says:

Reese says it is just too soon after her divorce from Ryan to think about marrying again. She is madly in love with Jake, but her divorce just became final, and she doesn't want to rush into anything. Reese wants to take things very slowly because of her two young children. She doesn't want anything to upset or disrupt them. It took her a while to introduce them to Jake - she didn't want them to know they were a couple until they were definitely serious about each other."

Wow, this is genius. When they "break up" in two months, they'll already have an excuse. An excuse other than Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and likes to taste test penis. When asked about the proposal, Jake Gyllenhaal wiped the corners of his mouth and said, "Mmmmmm."

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon have been photographed all over Rome recently, causing many to believe they have finally came out as a couple. Of course it has nothing to do with the fact that the movie that they're starring in is a box office disaster. They're in love. This relationship is gonna last. It's gonna last because they care for each other and share the same goals and dreams and interests. Interests such as penis.


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You hear a planted "Jake Gyllenhaal is not gay" story from his publicist at least once a month, so imagine the surprise when in an interview to promote his new film, Rendition, Jake Gyllenhaal basically showed up in a leotard:

...I was stuck in a woman's bathroom once with Susan Sarandon. She was interviewing me for a magazine and we couldn't find a battery for our recording device so we ended up in a woman's bathroom. I discovered two things that day: that the floor in a woman's bathroom is colder than the floor in the men's. And, believe me, I've spent a lot of time on the floor of a men's bathroom so I should know! And women pee louder than men do, even though we might expect not. Maybe it's just American women? I don't know."

I wonder who Jake Gyllenhaal is going be for Halloween? If I had to guess, I'd say Malibu Beach Barbie. But don't hold me to that. He could go as Rainbow Brite.

Jake promoting Rendition at the 2nd Rome Film Festival in Rome on October 21st:


Jake's "ex-girlfriend," Reese Witherspoon:

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe were officially divorced last week. They were married for seven years and have two children. TMZ reports:

TMZ has obtained the final divorce papers officially making it final. Reese initially filed for divorce on November 8, 2006, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason."

It's always sad when longtime Hollywood couples split up, because they represent a semblance of love and honor in the Sodom and Gomorrah that is Hollywood. At least that's what my fan mail said when my Hannah Montana doll and I broke up. However, my friends say those letters look like my handwriting and the Hannah Montana isn't even real. Oh really? Well if she isn't real, then how come when I pick her up she can sing two songs and say up to six phrases? I think my point has been made, sir. Good day.

View the divorce documents here

Hyped as Hollywood's newest power couple, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were electric at last week's Toronto International Film Festival. This adorable couple wowed everybody by standing two feet apart and having no chemistry. Oh, heavens why? Us reports:

There's good reason: After six months of on-and-off dating, the pair are kaput. "This is the harshest split they've had," a source tells Us. "Reese told Jake it's best they don't talk at all." Indeed, the costars stood apart and rarely made eye contact at the Rendition press conference. They remained distant at the afterparty, where Witherspoon kept to herself and Gyllenhaal chatted with his mom..."

Gee, what on earth could it possibly be? When asked for comment Jake Gyllenhaal said, "Can you believe she wanted me to stick it...omg, ewww."

Reese Witherspoon, who's supposedly been "dating" Jake Gyllenhaal for the past two months, is reportedly furious after Jake shared a kiss and a long embrace with Jennifer Aniston as he presented her with a GLAAD Vanguard Award earlier this month. As source says:

It wasn't just a polite peck on the cheek. There was definitely feeling in that embrace. When Reese heard about it, she broke down in tears asking, 'Why would he do that?' She is very unhappy about it...She always thought Jake was intelligent and charming. That's why she's so stunned by the photographs of Jake and Jen. She's really hurt by what she's seen. They seem to be very explicit and everyone knows Jennifer's looking for love."

Wow. Jake Gyllenhaal's publicist deserves to be a first ballot hall of famer. Really. Because that's the only way to explain this story. I've seen sexier kisses at a funeral, but now we're expected to believe that Reese Witherspoon is crying herself to sleep at night because Jennifer Aniston and Donnie Darko shared an awkward hug. On stage. There are a million paparazzi pictures of this guy, but you never seem to see him with women (other than his sister). Why is that? When asked for comment Jake Gyllenhaal said, "Oh don't be silly. You know girls don't have penises."

Reese Witherspoon on April 21st:


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