Sharon Stone got off a boat in Cannes yesterday and flashed her...oh, I give up. I have no idea what the hell that is. I mean, it's where female genitalia is supposed to be, but it's not a good sign when "water balloon" is a good guess. It's unclear whether that's testicles or stuff she's storing for the winter.

Nicolette Sheridan is still in a bikini [Dlisted]
Krystal Forscutt gets topless for FHM [Hollywood Tuna]
Ozzy Osbourne can't remember [Hollywood Rag]
Homer Simpson faces a new year [City Rag]
Tara Reid counts [College Humor]
Leelee Sobieski is in a bikini [Egotastic]
Jessica Alba has an engagement ring [Just Jared]
Lindsay and Ali Lohan in Jewish outfits (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady are still together [Popsugar]
Coco is rocking major cameltoe (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Sean Penn has a dinner date [ASL]
Padma Lakshmi is almost naked [Popoholic]
In Texas, You're On Your Own (No Country for Old Men) [Pajiba]
Tom Brady gives Tony Romo good advice re: Jessica Simpson [TPC]

Sharon Stone walking around with her nipples hanging out recently (NSFW):

I'm pretty sure it's not the kind of thing they do at Make-A-Wish. Little kids with leukemia want to dig for dinosaurs or meet Zac Efron, not wish upon a star for some 50 year old camel toe.

If this were 1991, this post might be a little more enthusiastic about the words "Sharon Stone" and "topless," but Stone was wrinkled and insane the last time I checked the calendar. But if topless sunbathing grandmas are your thing, look no further, my friend. A feast for your eyes awaits!

Click thumbnails far larger NSFW pictures:


Note: As you can tell, these pictures were taken from a few light years away, so this is what she would look like close up. And so is this.

Here's Sharon Stone on a yacht in Cannes a couple days ago. I should commend her courage to choose against an insecurity sarong, but we're talking about Sharon Stone here. She's one of the cuntiest, most conceited people in Hollywood and would go topless in a thong even if she was 300 pounds and covered head to toe with scabies. It's amazing how something so flat could be so ... textured. I'm talking about the walls of the yacht, people. God, you're so mean!

It's no wonder that Sharon Stone is considered a Hollywood beauty. Just look at this heavenly creature. She's almost too perfect. I bet she only has to drink the blood of two virgins a day to look so young and vibrant. Please Sharon, tell us your beauty secrets!