Paddington Bear Sophie Monk went shopping on Oxford Street in Sydney yesterday, and look Sophie, I appreciate the short skirt and the big tits, but it might not be a good idea to wear something that is gonna draw attention to your face. Specifically, a ridiculously oversized hat. I can't even look at the banner picture for that long because you're looking me directly in the eye. How dare you try to thwart my quest for the Golden Fleece?! Be gone!! The throne of Iolcos shall be mine!!

Note: Our kick ass sister horror site, Shock Till You Drop, has the trailer for her new lesbian demon movie. Oh, and Ryan, don't you owe me something? *cough* Megan Fox *cough*

Sophie Monk is in a new movie called The Hills Run Red, a horror movie about something something something blah blah something something TITS!

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Sophie Monk's face might as well be a tub of butter coated in butter spray, but she has a pretty sick body that she likes to show off so now she's almost sorta kinda famous for doing that. Now here's some beach yesterday that got a little interesting when Sophie Monk's tits popped out of her bikini. Look, I'm not here to judge you or anything, but I'm really not sure while you're still reading this right now, you big fag.

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In spite of her head and her lack of interest in reading the directions on how
to apply a rub on tan, Sophie Monk has a sick body. So, I appreciate the fact that she decided to eat at Beso in a see through dress this weekend. I also appreciate her use of patterns and accessories to create a charmingly sexy ensemble. Perfect for the woman on the go!

It's unclear why Sophie Monk was posing as she was leaving the New Wave Entertainment building yesterday, but I guess she kinda has to at this point. Because posing is probably the best way to draw attention away from her face. I'm not saying she looks like a chipmunk, but I probably wouldn't let her around my firewood.



Photos: Splash

I've seen better heads on jack 'o lanterns, but a wise man once said, "Just bend her ass over." And that wise man, my friends? Thomas Jefferson.

I have no idea why Sophie Monk is famous. She's an actress who can't act, she's a singer who doesn't sing all that well, and she's a model who really isn't all that hot. Sure her body is OK, but I'm really not convinced about the face. Every time I see her it takes me a minute to realize that's she not gathering nuts for the winter.

This ass is proof that starving yourself on a steady diet of cigarettes and caffeine works. Breast implants work, too. So do collagen lips. So does being engaged to one of the douche Madden twins. And stepping in shit. OK so, to recap, starving, cigs, coffee, fake tits, fake lips, douche and shit splatter - this is the way to the natural beauty that is Sophie Monk. Work it, bitch.


P.S. Somebody please tell her to tuck her tag in. I'm OCDing over it big time.