Proving there is nothing that can contain the hotness of her damn near perfect ass, my baby mama Sophie Turner was at Mint last night showing onlookers what the word "curvy" actually means. We haven't spoken since our sexual tension filled interview, but she needs to understand that my heart is like a wild mustang that can't be tamed. And even though her spray tan is a little uneven, she should know there is no unevenness in the strings that play the symphony in my soul whenever I see her ass. You can tell in these pictures that she's about to call me, but somebody apparently interrupted her. "Hey, Sophie. I walked by your table and saw you left your to go box inside sooo...., " Christina Hendricks was quoted as saying.

The finale of Australia's Next Top Model was last night, and you know how when you watch reality shows and the host announces the winner and everybody cheers and the winner cries because the host read the card right? Yeah so, imagine the exact opposite of that.

Speaking of winners in Australia, here's Sophie Turner, winner of this year's Australia's Next Top Choice For Todd's Pregnancy Test He Got For His Birthday.

Kendra Wilkinson is Team Montana Fishburne Doing Porn [The Superficial]
AnnaLynne McCord and Jessica Stroup are scrawny [Popoholic]
Barely legal Sasha Grey (NSFW) [TaxiDriver Movie]
Hurricane Earl is paying a visit to Jersey Shore. Big ups to Jesus. [Celebslam]
Emma Watson calls out Twilight [The Blemish]
25 Most Unrealistic Sex Scenes in Movies [COED Magazine]
Elle Fanning is anti-Lohan [Cele|bitchy]
Michael Lohan is selling off Lindsay's diaries [Allie Is Wired]
All of Salma Hayek's nude scenes [Cityrag]
Raylene is in lingerie [Heyman Hustle]
You like. [Facebook]
You follow [Twitter]

If you read my interview with Sophie Turner, you could sense the overwhelming sexual tension and her desire to go out with me, so maybe I should buy BOA Steakhouse since that seems to be her favorite restaurant. My lawyer says I need a loophole, because apparently standing outside BOA and staring in the window violates the terms of the restraining order. But ask yourself, can the law of man restrain the law of the heart? No further questions!

On May 18, 2010, an ass was sent from the throne of heaven to pose for the paparazzi. Ever since, Australian model, actress, and lawyer, Sophie Turner, has been an IDLYITW favorite. Through the magic of Facebook and Twitter, I was able to convince her to do an interview with us. Since she has better things to do than answer questions from a dude who writes a blog, it took her a month to answer. Since I had no direction as I child, I expected instant gratification, so I pouted like a goth chick who mistakenly got a tan. Today, that all changed when I opened my inbox.

As a current sex symbol, do you think that women are being objectified by the media and does this constant scrutiny effect young girls' body image? Also, what are you wearing?

Of course, women are consistently being objectified by the media, it is a tremendous problem, but I’m assuming you’re not looking for me to vent about it here on IDLYITW…? In more relevant news, I’m wearing jeans and a tank top.

Your wiki page says you're "an Australian actress and supermodel who first gained notoriety as a contestant on the Australian television series Search for a Supermodel". Speaking of Australia, what the hell is up with Mel Gibson? And if you were his lawyer, would you seek the death penalty yourself?

I wouldn’t take the case. It would be a conflict of interest because he is going to have me star in the next massive blockbuster he produces. (He just doesn’t know yet).

On the subject of Mel Gibson, if I was to tell you that I wanted to meet you "before jacuzzi", what would be the appropriate response?

I would have to warn you that I never “Jacuzzi” on the first date…

You were born in Melbourne to an industrial chemist father and a mother who is a highly regarded teacher to Autistic children. You published poetry at age 11 and in 2008, you earned a Bachelor of Laws degree. That being said, on a scale of 1 to double rainbow, how perfect is your ass?

I’m really not sure - Jimmy Kimmel hasn’t tweeted about it yet and as far as I know, no one has cried over it, or asked the universe what it means…


So you're 5'9" and weigh 125lbs. Using a cubic volume calculator, how much of that is taken up by your 34DDs and previously discussed perfect ass?

I would have to say a fairly large portion of it! Most of my weight is carried either in the back or in the front.

IMDB says you have a bunch of new movies coming out. What genre are they and will you be naked in any of them? (If the answer to that last part is "no", please move on to the next question)

I am filming a number of independent films at the moment. I am always very careful to select artistic and complex roles, not “bimbo” or “cheerleader” roles. I offer you my humblest apologies but no, I haven’t done any naked roles, nor do I have any naked roles in my cards for the future. Sorry - I promise that if I ever change my mind and decide to reveal all, you’ll be the first to know! … (There is really no chance of that ever happening though)

Describe your perfect man.

Highly intelligent, extremely charming, funny, very smooth, charismatic, a little goofy, confident – even cocky, handsome, macho, extroverted, kind-hearted, independent, highly ambitious, ballsy, chivalrous, well educated, energetic, slightly rugged, ultra respectful, spontaneous, athletic, interesting, loving, street-smart, well-mannered… ah fuck it. That’s a trick question.

Speaking of the perfect man, I have a three-legged cat that I adopted from a certain, cruel death. Does this make you want to have sex with me more or have sex with me way more?

WAYER!

I have three completed screenplays. If they are sold, would you be my Uma Thurman or be all uppity and pretend you don't know me?

Assuming that your screenplays are not cheesy, pornographic, degrading to the female species, require nudity or a lesbian mud-wrestling scene, … um actually there’s no point me finishing this answer, is there?

Is Outback Steakhouse's Blooming Onion a concerted ploy to make Americans want to visit Australia more since the movies Crocodile Dundee and Australia backfired?

I do not endorse the Outback menu; nor have I ever heard of half the shit they claim to be Australian.

You seem to really like Paul Heyman. I've seen that guy. Is he holding a member of your family hostage?

Jealous, much? (Ed.'s note: That cut me deep, Shrek)

What's the deal with you guys and boomerangs? It's just a curved stick, right?

Yeah. A wooden stick, several inches long and a couple of .. wait, where you are going with this?


I'm going to pretend that you read this site daily, so if you were to Google "Sophie Turner" right now, you'd see this site is on the first page. Does this give you a sense of failure enough for you to agree to go out with me?

Are you kidding me? I’m still squealing a high-pitched-eyelash-battering “awwwwwww!” over the sweet little innocent kitty you rescued.

"White chocolate chips, M&Ms, Rolos, Ferrero Rochers, Cadbury Caramello, chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and a cherry on top!" Is that just your signature milkshake recipe or should it be everyone's life motto?

White chocolate… (insert Homer Simpson drooling noise here). NB: Please send all white chocolate in an unmarked envelope to my fan address and I promise I will be your best friend for life.

In all seriousness, thanks for being born with something I can post regularly to generate pageviews and thank you for all the love you give to the site. It's rare that we get to write about beautiful, down-to-earth, borderline geniuses. I know everyone here wishes you nothing but the best in the future if that future includes a possible nude scene. Thanks again for agreeing to waste time answering these questions, and if I need a lawyer to distract the jury, I'll be sure to give you a call.

Thanks for boosting my ego on a regular basis, I really appreciate all the love!

Everything you need to know about Sophie you can find on her official site. Or her IMDB. Or her YouTube channel. Or my diary.



If you would like to be interviewed by IDLYITW (and God knows you want to), please send your request to editor@idontlikeyouinthatway.com.

Through the magic of Facebook and Twitter, I was able to talk to Sophie Turner and ask her if she would be so kind as to give IDLYITW an interview. She agreed and was really cool about it. Then I sent the questions. In my defense, I thought they were thorough, moderately funny, and totally not weird or inappropriate at all. Long story short, I never heard back from her. Maybe it's because she's busy filming her new movie. Or maybe Los Angeles police are using her skills as a lawyer to help solve a cold case. Or maybe she doesn't want to be known as the "chick with the hot ass". I completely understand. When I used to hand model, people were never able to look me directly in the eye, it was always "your hand is so perfect" this and "put your hand on me" that. It was never about my beauty on the inside. So, I forgive her for not replying. I still love her. How can we control the affairs of the heart? The machinations of the heart are deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

By the way, here she is in a bikini and workout clothes:

I don't know if the paparazzi manged to implant a tracking device into Sophie Turner's ass or not, but they somehow always manage to be around when she's looking hot as hell. Which I assume is all the time. Not that I care, because look at this chick. Dear God. My tongue would be on this so fast you'd think her clit was a humming bird feeder.

Sophie Turner went for a jog yesterday, and as our luck or her appointment with them would have it, the paparazzi were on hand to capture her incredible hotness as she stretched in tight workout clothes and full makeup. Man, will these wonders ever cease?!