1. First movie premiere: Covered up, George Clooney openly staring at strange ass.

2. Second movie premiere: Tits pushed up to her chin, George actually looked at her.

3. Third movie premiere: NAILED IT!

Trying to make up for the horrific mistake she made in New York that made George Clooney scan the room for new ass, Stacy Keibler read Sun Tzu and now understands her enemy as herself. So she showed up to the BFI London Film Festival with her rack hanging out. Doctor's now say that George Clooney's penis is in remission and Stacy has bought herself at least a few more months.

George Clooney has gone from banging Stacy Keibler in private to being seen with her in public, so here's the happy couple at the NYC Film Festival premiere of The Descendants last night. Well, I mean Stacy Keibler looks happy. George Clooney might be happy if the girl attached to the ass he's staring at can keep her mouth shut after he finger bangs her while Stacy is in the bathroom. Why bitches always gotta talk?

When you ask chicks to get naked so you can take their picture, they get all weird and call the police, but when you ask chicks to get naked so you can take their picture then say something in Italian about art, they get naked so you can take their picture. So here's Stacy Keibler in Culo by Mazzucco, a new 248-page coffee table book featuring ass photographs and art pieces by artist Raphael Mazzucco. So to recap, Joe Francis would be considered an artist if he changed the name of Girls Gone Wild to Ragazze Andato Selvatico and invested in some gold spray paint.

Less than a month after dumping his girlfriend of two years, Elisabetta Canalis, because she thought the word "marriage" out loud, George Clooney is now banging Stacy Keibler. Of course he is. Life & Style reports:

Life & Style can exclusively reveal that George has been getting cozy with former WWE star and Dancing With the Stars contestant Stacy Keibler. An insider tells Life & Style that Stacy recently flew to Italy to spend time with George at his villa in Lake Como. "I'm in heaven," Stacy tweeted about her trip. Though they seem to be an unlikely pair, George and Stacy have been acquaintances for some time and were set up by a mutual friend, the insider reveals. "They have a lot of friends in common and run in the same circles," another pal tells the magazine, on newsstands now. But Stacy -- who split with her longtime boyfriend, 7th Heaven star Geoff Stults, a year ago -- isn't looking for a commitment, which suits George just fine. "He's enjoying spending time with Stacy, but he just got out of a two-year relationship," says the insider. "George isn't ready for anything serious. This fling is purely for fun."

You know that photo montage they show at the end of the Oscars of actors who died? When Clooney eventually dies during sex, instead of that, they should dip his dick in gold as pass it around the audience so he can fuck everybody on the waiting list.

And it's really thoughtful. E! Online:

The FBI and LAPD are investigating after an envelope containing a suspicious white powder was found in the Dancing With the Stars mailroom at CBS Studios.

"Security and the Los Angeles Fire Department and Los Angeles Police Department were immediately notified," ABC said in a statement to E! News.

"Measures were taken to secure the area and ensure the safety of personnel. Ultimately we were advised by the LAPD that the substance was determined to be talcum powder."

I'm not sure what the big deal is. A fan sent her something she can actually use and she gets all huffy about it? Relax bitch. If you think your kid is too old for baby powder, you can use it yourself to prevent chafing between your chins.

I was going to post pictures of some of the skinny sluts on Teen Mom for this until I remembered Stacy Keibler was on Dancing With the Stars once.

Making every woman on this beach want to stick a plunger down their throat, Stacy Keibler and her kick ass body was in Miami this week reminding everyone why she was famous for like ten minutes. Jesus Christ, her stomach is sick. It might as well be marked with colored smoke and come with a tissue dispenser.

For about five months in 2006 Stacy Keibler was everywhere, now she just kinda spends her days doing whatever because she's made her money and she's cool to just live her life. Very similar to my days after I retired from the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Championship Fighting circuit. Sure the fame and the money were okay, but like Stacy, I knew when to walk away. Fine, it was after my first match when the doctor sewed my torso back on. Does that make you feel better about yourself?! Well, does it?!!!